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Unhappy Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 21st 2010, 11:33 PM

Okay so I've been having really bad nightmares lately. I have at least one about being murdered (or killng/massacres) a week. I told my mom and she told me it was because I was an atheist . I let it slide...

I'm super paranoid at all moments and I'm petrified by my imagination (especially at night) so I asked her if we could put curtains over our glass doors yesterday because they made me freak out when I went to the kitchen. She asked me what I was afraid of and I told her zombies (yeah I know, stupid) because everytime I look at those damn doors I always feel like a 'rage' infected person (or something) will smack up against it and start clawing at the frame. Especially now that all these damn cyotes are stalking through the yard. She told me I wasn't afraid of zombies and that I should talk to a preacher because what I was really afraid of were my 'inner demons'!

I ask her not to do it and I've tried telling her that maybe I might need to see someone about these things (I've even started having panic attacks) but she doesn't listen! She's convinced herself that I would only be happy if I live the way she does. It just seems like everything I say is a vortex into a new church topic now. What am I supposed to tell her to get her to listen to me and not my beliefs?
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 23rd 2010, 01:31 AM

Well, what exactly do you dream ? If you don't mind telling me !


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 23rd 2010, 04:34 AM

This will be long, sorry...
Usually about being murder... or watching a murder... or something to do with murder...
I have at least one dream about murder a week... My zombie dreams always involve that damn door and I'll go into the kitchen and one will crash into the door and I'll be on the floor screaming and then there will be one behind me and then i wake up...
There was one also where a small man came from a book when you read it and murdered you. I watched him murder some man in a lbrary and lft him there with the book. I didn't tell anyone. Then my mom brought the book home. She was running from the man because he had a gun and she ran in my room where I was at the time. I tried to cover the hole between my door and the floor and I was on my knees and I leaned over to tuck a pillow underneath and he was next to m and I looked over at him and he shot me in the head. I even remember that the book was called 'the mantle' (which i've never read or heard of).
There's one that I wasn't even in last week! It was between some girl(who I have no idea who she is) with dislexia(sp?) and she had a single dad and the dad hired a girl her age to tutor her. The dad eventually started sleeping with the tutor and the girl got mad. The dad hired the tutor to be a maid so she would be around more and one day while she was doing laundry the girl waited for her in the basement (where the washing machine is) and murdered her with a plumbling pipe. She crushed her head into the ground until it was slush and then she hit her in the back until her guts popped through her stomach(not sure if that's even possible) ... The weird thing about that one was that it was set in my aunts old house she babysat me in before they moved.
Like I said, my imagination is weird.
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 23rd 2010, 06:52 PM

I'd seriously see a psychologist about it (by which I mean, go to your GP - he should knock some sense into your mother before referring you). You shouldn't worry much about the dreams, but it's obvious you have problems outside of that, ie your family.
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 24th 2010, 10:50 PM

Dreams about someone chasing you simply means you are running away from something mentally and avoiding to face it. So, is there something that you have been avoiding to face ?

About the murder dreams : I have googled it and here is a link that I find some explanations are interesting concerning what you feel you are going through,(check out the one about victimization especially).

Here is the link --> http://en.mimi.hu/dreams/murder.html


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 25th 2010, 11:41 PM

I'm not sure about that one... Thanks for the link, I'll look it over ^-^...

I feel really stupid for asking, (then again i feel stupid anyway) but what is a GP? Just a phycologist?


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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 27th 2010, 05:19 AM

GP = general practitioner (I think it's a British term =P). Basically, go to your "regular" doctor, and ask for a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist. These thoughts are definitely not normal, and they may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. If that's not the case, then you could still benefit from therapy with a psychological professional (and while you're learning how to cope with these disturbing thoughts, you could also learn how to cope with your mother's blatant attempts to convert you).





   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 29th 2010, 02:39 AM

My mom won't take me to anything like that though... She told me if I was feeling depressed or suicidal I'm going straight to the hospital to be under supervised watch... I think it's cuz she had a cousin that commited suicide once... Can depression run in a family? Because my uncle is diagnosed too...


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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 29th 2010, 02:44 AM

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My mom won't take me to anything like that though... She told me if I was feeling depressed or suicidal I'm going straight to the hospital to be under supervised watch...
Does your school have a counselor you can see?
   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 29th 2010, 03:12 AM

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Originally Posted by Enekstrix
Can depression run in a family? Because my uncle is diagnosed too...
People can be genetically predisposed to developing depression. That, with a combination of environmental factors (ex. abusive parents, bullying at school), can lead to depression. So yes, it can run in the family... but it doesn't mean everyone is guaranteed to suffer from depression, or commit suicide like your cousin did.

If your mom were to take you to a hospital for institutionalization, they would laugh in her face. So long as you're not actively attempting to commit suicide, there's no need to do so... they would just set you up for an assessment/diagnosis. If you were diagnosed with depression, they would suggest that you talk to a psychiatrist about receiving therapy and/or taking anti-depressants.

Also, for what it's worth (and PLEASE remember that I am NOT a psychological professional, so this is NOT a professional diagnosis), this sounds more like an anxiety disorder than depression. You may want to learn more about that particular mental illness.

Whatever it is that you have (or don't have), it definitely is not something that you want to leave untreated. What if the symptoms become worse? Maybe, if your cousin had receive more support from his/her family and psychological professionals, s/he wouldn't have committed suicide. I'm NOT saying that you'll take things that far... but it's not good to deal with this on your own. The symptoms may only become more severe with time. If it means going to a hospital and dealing with your mom's crap for a few days, but seeing an improvement in the long-term... don't you think that's worth checking out? =)





   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 29th 2010, 10:22 PM

You're right about the anxiety disorder... I was diagnosed with it at the end of last year and I took the meds they gave me for the month (though they did absolutly nothing). At the end of the month, my mom asked if they helped with anything and I said no so she never took me back... I should probably go back soon....
I don't really talk to my councilers because they seem like they really wouldn't care. One of them constantly complains about how she hate chidren and the other only talks about how perfect her kids are and how they're going to college and blah, blah, blah.


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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 30th 2010, 04:29 AM

Tell her to RESPECT YOU! Tell her YOU are ur own person and u have ur own beliefs!
   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 30th 2010, 08:53 PM

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Originally Posted by Enekstrix View Post
You're right about the anxiety disorder... I was diagnosed with it at the end of last year and I took the meds they gave me for the month (though they did absolutly nothing). At the end of the month, my mom asked if they helped with anything and I said no so she never took me back... I should probably go back soon....
I don't really talk to my councilers because they seem like they really wouldn't care. One of them constantly complains about how she hate chidren and the other only talks about how perfect her kids are and how they're going to college and blah, blah, blah.
Well, unfortunately, it's rare for people to find the right medication the first time. That's why there are sooo many anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications out there. You may have to try several more (and for longer periods of time than one month), before you find something that helps alleviate these feelings of anxiety.

And that's a shame. =( Are these mental health counselors, or school counselors? If they are mental health counselors, you might want to ask your regular doctor for a referral to a child/adolescent specialist. Unfortunately, not all counselors are good at dealing with younger patients... but there are plenty who DO specialize in anxiety disorders AND adolescent psychology. =) If they are school counselors... well, I don't really know what to say. Perhaps it would be best to not see them anymore. They have their degrees in education, but they obviously lack the empathy needed in order to properly help you.





   
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - April 30th 2010, 09:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enekstrix View Post
Okay so I've been having really bad nightmares lately. I have at least one about being murdered (or killng/massacres) a week. I told my mom and she told me it was because I was an atheist . I let it slide...

I'm super paranoid at all moments and I'm petrified by my imagination (especially at night) so I asked her if we could put curtains over our glass doors yesterday because they made me freak out when I went to the kitchen. She asked me what I was afraid of and I told her zombies (yeah I know, stupid) because everytime I look at those damn doors I always feel like a 'rage' infected person (or something) will smack up against it and start clawing at the frame. Especially now that all these damn cyotes are stalking through the yard. She told me I wasn't afraid of zombies and that I should talk to a preacher because what I was really afraid of were my 'inner demons'!

I ask her not to do it and I've tried telling her that maybe I might need to see someone about these things (I've even started having panic attacks) but she doesn't listen! She's convinced herself that I would only be happy if I live the way she does. It just seems like everything I say is a vortex into a new church topic now. What am I supposed to tell her to get her to listen to me and not my beliefs?
Hi.

I am in a similar situation as you. Not with anyone trying to convert me but that my mind is very corrupt. I tend to write a lot and read a lot which my psychologist says is common for people who are into writing, for whatever reason. At any rate, I must say that my mind fairly horrible from 16-20 years old (I'm now 21 -- and it's bad again). However, when I was about 20 I began going to church and the like, and in all honesty the majority of things went away. I don't know how to describe it... I don't know how or why they went away but they did. So in essence, perhaps your mom really is being honest. I must admit that I am in a process of deconversion and since I've done this almost everything has come back to where it was several years ago. I am seeing a therapist right now and they seem to give some fairly decent tips as to what you should do and not do. It's mainly finding your trigger and what sparks the thoughts.

I know for me, there's not very many triggers is just the way my mind operates, however, there are things I've gotten rid of in my life that has helped on a minor sense. I really suggest speaking to a therapist and finding these things out, or a counselor at school.

On the other hand, as far as your mom goes... I understand how annoying it is when people try to convert you. Don't let it get to you but also don't keep a closed mind to her possibly being right. Often times the answers people give aren't necessarily the most polite way they could give them or even the answers we want to hear. What matters is if that answer is a right or wrong answer. I know for me, even though I'm struggling right now, that faith has helped a lot in the past and I can't tell you to stay away from it because it may help. It does a lot of things psychologically. This doesn't mean you HAVE To believe in God immediately, because you have no logical reasoning to do so, but perhaps try reading books that argue for the existence of God rather than relying on your own interpretation of things. The problem is that senses are often misleading and if you use solely your own interpretation of no God and do not expose your self to even a realm of possibility that there is one, your probability of being wrong is much higher than challenging your beliefs. I'm not here to convert you, because I don't even know what I believe. I just always challenge my beliefs and I see many atheist being very dogmatic in their beliefs with little to no challenge on their part. They generally hold many biases when reading material etc. it's difficult not to. Just keep an open mind and don't ignore your moms advice. She may be right after all, who's to say.

In the mean time get a therapist. Message me if you want to talk. I know where you're coming from.
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Re: Mom's Trying to Convert Me - May 1st 2010, 07:19 AM

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And that's a shame. =( Are these mental health counselors, or school counselors? If they are mental health counselors, you might want to ask your regular doctor for a referral to a child/adolescent specialist. Unfortunately, not all counselors are good at dealing with younger patients... but there are plenty who DO specialize in anxiety disorders AND adolescent psychology. =) If they are school counselors... well, I don't really know what to say. Perhaps it would be best to not see them anymore. They have their degrees in education, but they obviously lack the empathy needed in order to properly help you.
Yeah thet're school councilers... There is one that I would actually consider talking to but she deals with the seniors and at this time of the year someone is in there every second of the day and she doesn't have time.
I'm going to try to convince my mom that I need a defferent med tomorrow night... Wish me luck..

I know that religion works for some people, but I've seen the bad sides and I'm just not going back to that.


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