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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Exclamation Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 09:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ive had loads of crap go on in my family over the years, I hope we are over the worst of it. but things are still going on with my step dad and my mum. long story short, my step dad went through the courts and has contact with my half brother every other weekend, and they are slowly increasing the time to sleep overs and stuff. my mum and him talk through emails which are overseen by the caffcass officer.
anyway, my step dad appeared to have changed because he was being nicer and calmer, but then he started to get bullying and agressive in his emails again, just like he was in the past...I guess abusers never change! mum turned to caffcass to help and he just said to let it lie and dont make a fuss! :@ mum is in a corner here and my step dad is getting away with whatever he wants to do. this whole thing has caused me so many problems over the years and i really dont want the whole thing to start up again. I just dont know what to do! becuase of my head being messed up with the depression stuff, the feelings and everything is worse now. i dont want it causing me any more problems, it has already done enough damage!
This stuff is really upsetting mum and she offloads everything to me, so its getting to me too. the worst bit for me is that mum was talking about the court case yesterday and it has brought back so many bad memories that I am plagued with them at the moment. I just don't know what to do. why cant he just leave our family alone?!


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 09:52 AM

Hi Georgia,
I'm really sorry you're under so much pressure.
For one, I really think you need to talk to you mom. You need to show your concern for her and how the situation is causing alot of problems.
Your mom shouldn't take what your stepdad is throwing at her. She should take a stand for herself. If he does abuse her in anyway gain, you can call the police on it, and you now your mom should be afraid of that. After all, would you really want to live with all this abuse and pain in the family?
I' not really sure what else to day, so I'll leave it at that.
I hope things get better.
I'm always around if you need anything!
Take care


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 09:57 AM

thanks..I didnt make it clear...my step dad doesnt live with us. he and my mum split up about 6 years ago.
my mum emotionally abuses me, so i have offered my support buts thats all i can do.
mum can do nothing becasue if she makes a stand she could lose me and jack...they threatened that before.


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 10:22 AM

Oh! Right, now I get it!
Well, then, in that situation, there really isn't much you can do is there? Just be supportive of your mom, and take care of yourself. Don't let it frustrate you so much, because it doesn't seem like your mom would take in everything you may want to say to her about the situation. Right now, just try to keep yourself together. That will definitely help!


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 10:48 AM

I can't thats the problem. Im a mess. I have just got back in from breaktime at school and I spent all of break in the loos crying. I have my blade in my pocket and want to cut so much its unreal.
im supporting her as much as I can... but im struggling so much!


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 10:53 AM

Well, I think the first thing you should do is dispose off the blade.
Try not to think of it. Think of something else.
Maybe go sit with your friends and try to calm yourself down. Or sit with someone who can just listen to you talk and get everything out.
Don't worry about supporting her at the moment. Focus on yourself. You first have to find the strength in you only then can you even imagine about helping your mom.
I really think you should tell one of your closest friends so that they can keep an eye on you and they can be there for you.
I really hope you feel better soon!!


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:06 AM

I can't..im in school and my friends who i would offload to are in lessons. i also have a lesson now. I do need to explain the stuff tho i think.
ive told my one mate at breaktime that I felt like i was gonna break down but not about the blade


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:25 AM

Oh. Well, then after you get out of classes, you really should tell your friend about this.
I can't really do much to help from here, so it does seem a better option to tell your friends.


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:41 AM

Couldn't your mum just not email him? I don't quite understand why they would take you away, since he isn't your father...

Cutting is never going to help, it isn't going to make this easier to deal with. It will make you feel guilty and therefore make things worse, so get rid of it, okay?

And if your mum emotionally abuses you, then you need to talk to someone about that. There is no reason that you have to go through all of this stuff and deal with it on your own. Go see your school counsellor and talk to him/her. We can only offer advice, a counsellor will be able to give you much more help.



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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:42 AM

I have text my friend about the blade..and she will keep an eye on me. im dreading lunchtime!


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Spirit. Offline
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:46 AM

You really shouldn't!
You'll be fine!


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




HelpLINK Mentor - 2.4.2011
LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

  Send a message via MSN to Spirit. Send a message via Skype™ to Spirit. 
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Nomophobia Offline
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Re: Very worried/stressed - April 23rd 2010, 11:52 AM

She has to mail him, because she will get in trouble if she doesn't. she needs to mail him so that they can arrange picking up times for my brother. there have been allegations that she is an unfit mum, which she really isnt.
I've had loads of counselling and spoken to loads of people who have supported me but not stopped it.

Thanks Kaveri


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
  Send a message via MSN to Nomophobia  
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