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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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She says she's in love with me.. - April 28th 2010, 02:22 AM

I posted about this a while ago...my best friend told me that she felt she may be in love with me, but then she was confused about whether she did or not. Now the feelings are more definite and she's sure she is. I love her very much, but I'm not in love with her. It hate to tell her I don't feel the same because this has taken over her whole life...she's almost never happy and cries to me everyday about this. it's really hurting her. To make it worse, there's a guy that I have a crush on and he has a crush on me and the jealousy is killing her. I really don't know what to do about this. Any advice?
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Re: She says she's in love with me.. - April 28th 2010, 03:12 AM

Break it to her gently. Don't just hold out on telling her because you pity her. The more you wait the more your going to hurt her. For me, I don't have to love someone to always be able to be there for them. Just reassure her that your still there and you will be. And then make sure to be.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: She says she's in love with me.. - April 28th 2010, 03:57 AM

Give her a straight "yes" or "no". Oftentimes, it's the uncertainty of a situation that is so painful. She doesn't know what she is to you: a friend, or a potential girlfriend. You need to tell her what she is to you, as gently (but as clearly) as you can. She may cry, she may beg, she may claim that life is no longer worth living... but you need to stay strong, and stick to your answer, whatever it is. Eventually, she'll have to come to terms with your answer, and move on.

A word of caution: do NOT assume that she will want to stay friends. She may need time apart from you, in order to heal and gain closure. Maybe she will want you to continue being a supportive presence in her life... or maybe it will be too painful for her to bear. I'm leaning toward the latter, since you said she's jealous of you and your crush. What I'm trying to say is, don't take it personally if she refuses to talk to you after rejecting her... it may even be for the better if she does.






   
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Re: She says she's in love with me.. - April 29th 2010, 01:48 AM

She knows I don't love her back, I tried to tell her as nicely as I could but of course, she was terribly upset. I always try to help her and she knows I'm there for her. This is terrible though. I hate seeing her so upset and I can't do anything about it. I wish there was a magic fix but there isn't...But thanks for the advice.
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Re: She says she's in love with me.. - April 30th 2010, 04:44 AM

I think you should try to be gental with her... She is putting her heart out! Just tell her the truth in a CAREFUL and LOVING way!
   
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Re: She says she's in love with me.. - April 30th 2010, 06:03 AM

in time she'll get used to it and accept it.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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