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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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rriot132 Offline
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my crappy friends - April 29th 2010, 12:57 PM

Ive been feeling quite depressed lately. the reason. my friends. my crappy ass friends are the reasons why. ok so first of all my best friend is now best friends with this other girl who she used to hate. now they're so close to the point where they just hold hands like little girls and try to act cute like the cute characters from those anime shows. and today i realised my other friends dont really care about me. today at drama we had to get into partners and i looked around and all my friends had gotten into pairs and i was left with the shyest girl in class. and im very loud and fun and crazy and getting paired with a shy person just dosnt bring me out. and my friends never post wall posts on my facebook, they dont comment on my pictures only on my other friend's photos. the only person who really is my true friend is in australia. we're child hood best friends but she left me in year 7 cos her family had to leave to australia. i dont know what to do anymore my friends ignore me in the morning when i come to school, they dont say hi and they usually give bloody bear hugs to other people.
yesterday we had this dance practical/audition thing and i just went because my best friend and other friend wanted me to go. i actually went just because of them. they would'nt go if i asked them to join me for a club. i wanted them to join art club with me but their like uhh no thanks..ok anyway yesterday they started acting crazy with each other and i felt so left out. so i just left. they didnt even notice...
): i hate this. i wish i could move schools. go overseas. i just dont wanna be here anymore.


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Dobs Offline
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Re: my crappy friends - April 30th 2010, 04:37 AM

That sounds really crappy! I think that ur friends do care about u... If I where I would Find NEW Friends
   
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Re: my crappy friends - April 30th 2010, 10:16 PM

Hey there, Meera.

Unfortunately, friendships change... especially when you transition from elementary to middle school, middle school to high school, or high school to college. As peoples' interests and personalities change, their approach to friendships may change as well.

Either your friends are upset by something you did (or didn't do), or they are no longer interested in being friends with you (but don't have the courage to say it outright). Either way, I think you need to pull each of them aside, one at a time, and ask them what can be done to repair your friendship. Chances are that they will always be together as a group... and I know it can be intimidating to approach a group of friends and ask to speak to someone in private... but you've got to get over that, if you want to make any progress toward repairing your friendships.

When talking to your friends one-on-one, use "I" and "we" statements, not "you" or "they" statements. For example, say "I feel lonely when I can't work with a friend in drama", vs. "You left me out in drama". Say "We don't seem to hang out as often as we used to", vs. "They are always keeping you to themselves during lunch".

Walking away from your friends when they ignore you won't get you anywhere. If anything, they'll just see you as a sulky, self-centered brat, who wants to have everyone to herself. I'm sure it's not true... but that's how they might see it. The last thing you want is for them to think you're a drama queen (no pun intended =P).

If they don't seem to care, even after you've spoken to them... it's time to move on. Meet new people in your art club, or join another club (one that your friends aren't already in). Spend some time volunteering after school (perhaps at the library or a community center), and you might learn something new about yourself during the process (which will also help you in deciding what kinds of friends you want to have). =)





   
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Re: my crappy friends - May 2nd 2010, 09:39 AM

Hey, unfortunately these things do happen, and girls can become really bitchy. The same sort of thing happned to me, i got all worked up about it too. But it wil blow over, they will mature and you will find you hardly ever feel like this towards them.
Its not your fault or anything, maybe just try and hang in there, be around them, and they should just get over it. Sorry to hear you are having problems.
   
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