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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Magic. Offline
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No effort = yelling. Effort = yelling. - May 3rd 2010, 03:32 PM

So my parents are always yelling at me that I don't do enough to help around the house. Which I know. I leave at 6.30am and rarely get back before 7/8pm. By which time I'm shattered. I do clean the bathrooms and hoover the house at the weekends, as well as a few small things during the week but this is "not enough effort".
So this weekend they went away and I spent the whole time getting my brother and sister to tidy their rooms while I sorted out loads of paperwork stuff which my mam leaves around, just into piles. Then I cleaned the whole house, hoovering, washing floors, doing laundry, ironing, and basically anything I can think of.
They just got back and the first thing my mam says is "why the hell is the heating on?" ... because we were cold. "Why is the washing on radiators?" ... because it's been raining. Etc etc etc. All she's done is moan. Hasn't even noticed the fact the house is clean, just yelled at me.
I tried talking to her but she just kept yelling.
How do I explain to her that I have no motivation to do things to help her, because when I do this happens? Why would I put in hours and hours of work scrubbing bathrooms and floors, if I know all that's going to come out of it is me being yelled at again?!


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Re: No effort = yelling. Effort = yelling. - May 4th 2010, 05:38 PM

Bryden,
Since your mother is inattentive and doesn't seem to have any interest in listening to you, you may want to express your feelings with another family member that she would listen to, if possible, or you may want consider a counseling session with you and your mother as professional intervention may help. Obviously you don't deserve to have to deal with this all the time.
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Re: No effort = yelling. Effort = yelling. - May 4th 2010, 07:07 PM

A lot of parents are like this, when you don't do things is when they notice and when you do things, they don't notice. Maybe sit her down (when neither you nor her are upset) and ask what you could do to help out around the house. Say something like "Mom I'm really sorry I haven't been helping out enough around the house, but I want to make that better, what sort of things could I do to make things a little easier for you?" I hope it all works out.
   
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