TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 07:26 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so this morning my brother and i got into an argument, he was sitting down petting the dog, i didnt think he was watching tv, so i changed the channel, he says in a rude short tone "EXCUSE ME I WAS WATCHING THAT" i said in a short tone (i am tired i didnt sleep well at all last night)
i said "no you werent" i said that because i thought he was saying that he was watching it to make me mad, then he says
'yes i am" so i said "then you can change it back yourself" he said "sometimes i want to hit you" i said in a teasing short tone "ooohhh i'm so scared" because i didnt think he was serious then he says " YOU should be" i said " your not allowed to hit me, mom and dad wont like that, you know your not supposed to hit me because of my tumors" he said i'll still hit you" then i said something i dont remember, but then he says "your treating me like a jerk, you deserve to be in pain(those were his EXACT WORDS)" i said "i am not treating you like a jerk, and no one deserves to be in pain" he says "well you deserve to be in pain" then after that i dont remember other then my brother nick(who was saying all the mean things to me,) laughing at me crying, because after him saying that i deserve to be in pain, it made me realize that he really does hate me, so i was just literally bawling, tears were streaming down my face, i was yelling my dad was yelling(my dad had come in after all of the word were exchanged) i was yelling at my dad "shut up i'm done dad i'm done i'm moving out, I AM MOVING OUT i cant do this anymore i am going to go stay with bobbie"(one of my best girl friends and no i dont mean as in intimate relationship i mean as in friends). i honestly do not feel like i am safe, if i am home alone with nick i dont know what i am going to do if he tries to hurt me, my mom said she will talk to nick but i just dont know.
FYI
I am in constant pain everyday, i have a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes noncancerous tumors to grow under th skin and on my nerves, and it causes SEVERE pain, so i take a boatload of medication i take about 12 pills most of them are pain medication, i take 20 pills including the oxycodone i take for breakthrough pain(pain that breaks through the medication barrier)
honestly i am still heartbroken over this, nic honestly feels that way about me, i was granted a make a wish a few years ago, and long story short nick got to experince it with me, i had wished to go to warped tour and meet my favorite band amber pacific, i got to go onstage(on the main stage) and i brought nick with me. obviously none of that meant anything to nick. i need advice please,
i am in a lot of emotional pain.


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 08:08 PM

[Edited] by the sounds of it neither of you were acting maturely.

Last edited by PSY; May 6th 2010 at 04:22 AM. Reason: Rude content.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
[Edited] by the sounds of it neither of you were acting maturely.
i WAS acting maturely, as i could, i am and was tired and cranky i got 3 hours of sleep last night. i wasnt looking for critisizim, i was looking for advice


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.





Last edited by PSY; May 6th 2010 at 04:22 AM. Reason: Response to removed content.
  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 09:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
i WAS acting maturely, as i could, i am and was tired and cranky i got 3 hours of sleep last night. i wasnt looking for critisizim, i was looking for advice
[Edited] You may use your sleep deprivation as an excuse, but how do you know some thing wasn't making him moody? Or that he wasn't tired?

You can make all the excuses you want, but in the end the best way to solve it is to act maturely.

Last edited by PSY; May 6th 2010 at 04:23 AM. Reason: Response to removed content.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 10:34 PM

Best advice is to not act so immaturely. You changed the channel not knowing he was watching TV and the both of you then engaged in a childish conversation. You're using your lack of sleep as a reason for you being immature and cranky without considering the situation he was in. If I were your brother and you just came in and changed the channel from something I liked, I would ask you to change it back but when you give an immature childish response, then you should probably expect the same thing back.

It wasn't "right" for what he said about you deserving to be in pain but then again, you weren't "right" either.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 10:50 PM

i dont need you guys to be so mean to me, i am not using my being tired as an excuse, ANYONE who doesnt sleep will be cranky, and i am not his maid, he has legs arms and fingers, if the v show he was watching was so important to him then there is no reason why i needed to change the channel back, HE was the one who was immature, yes i said some dumb things too but he had no right to be such a mean mean person, i never said i was "right" i am not going to change the channel back unless he asks nicely which he didnt even ask, all he did was yell in a childish voice "excuse me i was watching that" he wasnt even watching the tv, he was petting the dog looking at her. he couldve been more mature, i dont like being yelled at when i am asking for advice, i'm not asking to be punched in the face with how i was "immature" and how i couldve been "nicer" if nick wants my respect then he needs to start TREATING me with respect, until then i refuse to engage in conversation with him,because veryime i do he maes childish,immature,snarky,rude,uncalled for remarks to me, he needs to grow up and stop leaving his messes for our mom or me to clean up, he needs to clean up after himself and start being a man he is 20 years old but he acts like hes 4


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
i dont need you guys to be so mean to me, i am not using my being tired as an excuse, ANYONE who doesnt sleep will be cranky, and i am not his maid, he has legs arms and fingers, if the v show he was watching was so important to him then there is no reason why i needed to change the channel back, HE was the one who was immature, yes i said some dumb things too but he had no right to be such a mean mean person, i never said i was "right" i am not going to change the channel back unless he asks nicely which he didnt even ask, all he did was yell in a childish voice "excuse me i was watching that" he wasnt even watching the tv, he was petting the dog looking at her. he couldve been more mature, i dont like being yelled at when i am asking for advice, i'm not asking to be punched in the face with how i was "immature" and how i couldve been "nicer" if nick wants my respect then he needs to start TREATING me with respect, until then i refuse to engage in conversation with him,because veryime i do he maes childish,immature,snarky,rude,uncalled for remarks to me, he needs to grow up and stop leaving his messes for our mom or me to clean up, he needs to clean up after himself and start being a man he is 20 years old but he acts like hes 4
The mature response to him telling you he was watching that channel would be 'Oh, sorry about that [changes channel back]' so in effect you started the squabble.
You were both being immature, yes he may of said some nasty things but in the end you did start the argument.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 11:12 PM

ONE: i did NOT start the argument HE did after he was all moopy and still pissy over the stupid changing the channel thing, why would i apologize to him and change the channel for him? give me one good reason why i should change the channel for him, he is perfectly capapble of doing it himself. you guys are attacking me, and being rude, i dont appreciate you telling me how i was so immature and how all of this is my fault and that my brother is the inncocent victim and how i am the criminal and the mean one, when HE was the criminal, he is just as guilty as i am, i wasnt being immature, if i was then so was he, why is it that everyone is ignoring the fact that i am asking for advice and NOT help on how i shouldve been nicer and been his slave and how i couldve been mature and kept my mouth shut, you guys dont know my brother, he does this crap ALL the time, he is always giving me a hard time and making my life hell.
i dont need people telling me how i shouldve handled this or how i shouldve been more mature, or that i started it when he and i both started it,. i wanted loving caring advice, not advice on how terrible i am


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
ONE: i did NOT start the argument HE did after he was all moopy and still pissy over the stupid changing the channel thing, why would i apologize to him and change the channel for him? give me one good reason why i should change the channel for him, he is perfectly capapble of doing it himself. you guys are attacking me, and being rude, i dont appreciate you telling me how i was so immature and how all of this is my fault and that my brother is the inncocent victim and how i am the criminal and the mean one, when HE was the criminal, he is just as guilty as i am, i wasnt being immature, if i was then so was he, why is it that everyone is ignoring the fact that i am asking for advice and NOT help on how i shouldve been nicer and been his slave and how i couldve been mature and kept my mouth shut, you guys dont know my brother, he does this crap ALL the time, he is always giving me a hard time and making my life hell.
i dont need people telling me how i shouldve handled this or how i shouldve been more mature, or that i started it when he and i both started it,. i wanted loving caring advice, not advice on how terrible i am
Your posts all along have been quite immature, we haven't been rude we've been telling you the facts and also we have been giving you advice, it was 'stop acting immaturely'.
Also the whole 'He wants that one so why should I change it' attitude is quite immature, I'm assuming you had a TV remote? Or where by the TV when you changed it, so not only were YOU the one to change the channel but YOU also had easy access to a remote or television
All along we've been saying that you're both as bad as each other as well so please don't say we're blaming it completely on you.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Apollo Offline
LiveStrong™
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Apollo's Avatar
 
Name: Apollo
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow. =)

Posts: 316
Blog Entries: 25
Join Date: February 26th 2010

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 5th 2010, 11:20 PM

It's not about WHO started the conflict. It's WHAT started it. So everybody should stop telling Ashley that she started it. After all, it takes two people to argue. So both people are equally at fault.

I think you should talk to your brother in a more constructive manner. I don't think your brother is going to hurt you, to be honest, but try not to put yourself in that position. If things escalate to that point, there's an issue. I think you could be the bigger person in your situation by trying to talk to him about it. Let him be immature, but it only proves the point even further.

Also, you're not a horrible person. At all.


Always feel free to contact me.
<3 |.YOU ARE LOVED.| <3


.TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY.

You may think the world is better off without you...
The truth:
The world isn't
good enough without you.







   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
BabyIndia Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
BabyIndia's Avatar
 
Name: India
Gender: Female

Posts: 915
Blog Entries: 24
Join Date: December 8th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 12:27 AM

Ignore it, guys can be dicks sometimes.

Or speak to him about it, tell what he said really upset you, and as he is your brother he shouldn't say things like that.

Then both be mature and apologise to eachother.

Next time just ask before you change the channel/

I've been there too. Brothers are pain in the ass.

Oh and yo said "why should you change the channel back "

Effectivly you should have because you changed the channel in the 1st place, you should have changed it back to what he was watching.





   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
combatbunny Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
combatbunny's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 22
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: September 30th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 12:32 AM

I don't understand why we're talking about changing the tv channel and her level of maturity because everyone has stupid pointless little bicker-fests with their siblings. The issue is what her brother said and telling her that she deserved to be in pain, which is a really terrible thing to say to someone, especially someone who IS in pain from a genetic disorder.

Ashley, I don't think your brother would actually hurt you and it's good that you've got your mother to talk to him. How old is he anyway? Can you talk to him about how inappropriate and hurtful his comment was?
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
FlyingTrue Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
FlyingTrue's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: United States (FL)

Posts: 1,048
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 03:41 AM

All this over a channel, it seems based on what you are telling me that your brother was the primary escalator in this situation. As easily as your brother got into a rage match, your brother could have easily asked kindly to change the channel back. I looked it up, and I know that nobody ever deserves to have to suffer this way. You are strong Ashley. I wish there is something I could do to take the pain away.
  Send a message via Skype™ to FlyingTrue 
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,018
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 04:18 AM

Please don't perceive what I'm about to say as an attack... it's meant to be constructive criticism.

Sometimes, you just have to be the "better person" and break the cycle yourself, instead of waiting for the other person to make the first move. Yes, he was rude about your changing the channel, but like Keady said, you could have said "Oh, sorry, I'll change it back"... and chances are, it wouldn't have escalated to the level that it did. You added fuel to the flame by being just as stubborn as your brother. That doesn't mean that what he said was acceptable... but it could have been avoided.

My advice: Try taking the high road for two weeks. When he starts behaving immaturely, do NOT respond with anger, sarcasm, tears, etc. Remain as calm as you can, and try to resolve the situation with as little arguing as possible. If that means admitting you're at fault or partially to blame for the conflict, so be it. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, quietly go to your room and close the door, or leave the house for a bit and call a friend to vent about your brother's behavior. If you still don't see ANY signs of improvement (frequency, duration, or intensity of his attacks) after two weeks, then I would suggest talking to your parents again. Tell them what you did in your attempt to be the "better person" for two weeks, and that it didn't seem to make a difference. Come up with a definite plan... not just "We'll talk to your brother about it", but an actual goal with a reasonable deadline (which could be one - or both - of you moving out).






   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 04:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
ONE: i did NOT start the argument HE did after he was all moopy and still pissy over the stupid changing the channel thing, why would i apologize to him and change the channel for him? give me one good reason why i should change the channel for him, he is perfectly capapble of doing it himself. you guys are attacking me, and being rude, i dont appreciate you telling me how i was so immature and how all of this is my fault and that my brother is the inncocent victim and how i am the criminal and the mean one, when HE was the criminal, he is just as guilty as i am, i wasnt being immature, if i was then so was he, why is it that everyone is ignoring the fact that i am asking for advice and NOT help on how i shouldve been nicer and been his slave and how i couldve been mature and kept my mouth shut, you guys dont know my brother, he does this crap ALL the time, he is always giving me a hard time and making my life hell.
Re-read what was said to you on here because both your brother and you were immature at the time of the event. You initiated the issue by not changing the channel back, there's no sense in arguing that, however, what your brother said was inappropriate as well. Both of you are equally guilty in this, which is what was said, so I'm not sure why you're taking the attitude you are. You need to understand the situation if you want to properly deal with it because what you are saying in this thread is immature and is rude, and you approach your brother with this same childish attitude (i.e. bursting into tears, using sarcasm, being angry, etc...), then don't expect him to be very kind. That is why we are focusing on the situation.

You complain he makes your life hell, which he may and I cannot verify that for obvious reasons. However, if you antagonize the situation instead of trying to be constructive, then you're not the innocent, helpless victim and he's not the big bad brother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
i dont need people telling me how i shouldve handled this or how i shouldve been more mature, or that i started it when he and i both started it,. i wanted loving caring advice, not advice on how terrible i am
Loving and caring advice involves sugar-coating everything and ignoring the situation that happened just to make you feel good. However, I'll bite: you're great, you don't deserve to be in pain and approach your brother without this childish attitude of yours if you want to get anywhere with him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by combatbunny View Post
I don't understand why we're talking about changing the tv channel and her level of maturity because everyone has stupid pointless little bicker-fests with their siblings. The issue is what her brother said and telling her that she deserved to be in pain, which is a really terrible thing to say to someone, especially someone who IS in pain from a genetic disorder.
Changing the TV channel is what initiated the interaction between her brother and herself, which is quite relevant as it would be involved in making both of them angry. Assuming she did nothing but her brother said she deserved to be in pain, then it would be a different situation as she would have done nothing to provoke such a response, however, that is not what occurred.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
combatbunny Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
combatbunny's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 22
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: September 30th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 05:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
Changing the TV channel is what initiated the interaction between her brother and herself, which is quite relevant as it would be involved in making both of them angry. Assuming she did nothing but her brother said she deserved to be in pain, then it would be a different situation as she would have done nothing to provoke such a response, however, that is not what occurred.
What I meant to say is that arguing over changing a tv channel, even if BOTH are being immature, should not provoke such an insensitive response. The action should merit the reaction. The bickering is normal. Overreaction and insensitivity is not acceptable.

For example, if person X (who has some sort of terminal disease) borrowed your stapler without asking, it would be unreasonable to tell them they were stupid and deserved to die.
Even if you were going to respond angrily, yelling, calling them stupid and demanding that they give it back and never touch any of your things again would still be a more appropriate reaction (to the action of taking something without permission) than telling them they deserved their suffering and death.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 06:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by combatbunny View Post
What I meant to say is that arguing over changing a tv channel, even if BOTH are being immature, should not provoke such an insensitive response. The action should merit the reaction. The bickering is normal. Overreaction and insensitivity is not acceptable.

For example, if person X (who has some sort of terminal disease) borrowed your stapler without asking, it would be unreasonable to tell them they were stupid and deserved to die.
Even if you were going to respond angrily, yelling, calling them stupid and demanding that they give it back and never touch any of your things again would still be a more appropriate reaction (to the action of taking something without permission) than telling them they deserved their suffering and death.
Wow, that's quite sick to be honest, why should people be able to use a disease as an excuse when it doesn't effect it at all? They should still have manners and what not it doesn't make them any less intelligent, so why should they get special privileges in anything? I mean, it's over a television channel, in effect that fact that she does have a genetic disorder is quite irrelevant and shouldn't be used as an excuse, people who do use disorders as excuses for everything are just as bad as people who discriminate against disabled people.
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 07:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Wow, that's quite sick to be honest, why should people be able to use a disease as an excuse when it doesn't effect it at all? They should still have manners and what not it doesn't make them any less intelligent, so why should they get special privileges in anything? I mean, it's over a television channel, in effect that fact that she does have a genetic disorder is quite irrelevant and shouldn't be used as an excuse, people who do use disorders as excuses for everything are just as bad as people who discriminate against disabled people.
Dont you EVER say i was using my disorder as an excuse, my brother is 20 years old and is WELL AWARE of my disorder,, he is WELL AWARE that i have a tumor on my eardrum that when he's got his bass music cranked up loud that the vibrations in my eardrum cause the tumor to hurt ,by the way i am also half deaf because of that dumb tumor, HE IS WELL AWARE of the severe pain that is caused from the tumors, he knows that i am unable to go to school due to me being physically weak due to more health problems caused by my genetic disorder yet he still thinks i am a slacker and a failure, he is WELL AWARE that my medication that treats my hypothiodism and the medication that treats my secondary andrenal insuffecincy causes me to gain weight, yet he still has called me a fat pig. nick is well aware of ALL of my health issues and is well aware of everything, when we were younger and i had a tumor in my arm, he got mad at me, and took one of his drumstick and hit me very hard in the arm RIGHT ON THE TUMOR. for those of you who have directly critized me and who have been telling me how i should have handled it and how i shouldve been nicer and blah blah blah (the ones who were nice about it and were more caring and generous to me this does not include you so i am not yelling at you i am yelling at the ones who are being mean to me) (not PSY) how about you put yourself in MY shoes, try living MY life, i am so physically weak i get tired walking to my freaking MAILBOX i wont be able to attend my prom this year, oh yeah, because of all of my health problems and ALL of the school i missed, i wont be getting my diploma this year, i also wont be able to walk across the stage because i am not strong enough, i should be in school RIGHT now, but nope, i still have TWO YEARS to complete before i get my diploma, so why dont you sit and think about what I have to go through on a daily basis before you start judging me telling me i am using my disorder as an excuse, and that i need to grow up, i am 18, i made adult descions when i was 12!, i am more mature then nick is, i make the choice weather or not i want to do this procudre or see that doctor, my parents trust me and know i am mature and old enough to hande it,. how about you do some research on neurofibromatosis. think before you judge, you shouldnt even be judging me because you dont know me.

to everyone who was kind to me, and gentle, and gave me sweet caring loving advice THANK YOU i appreciate it very much


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
Jesus Christ. Offline
Führer of the sausage people
I can't get enough
*********
 
Jesus Christ.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,301
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 6th 2010, 07:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XhopeIsrealX View Post
Dont you EVER say i was using my disorder as an excuse, my brother is 20 years old and is WELL AWARE of my disorder,, he is WELL AWARE that i have a tumor on my eardrum that when he's got his bass music cranked up loud that the vibrations in my eardrum cause the tumor to hurt ,by the way i am also half deaf because of that dumb tumor, HE IS WELL AWARE of the severe pain that is caused from the tumors, he knows that i am unable to go to school due to me being physically weak due to more health problems caused by my genetic disorder yet he still thinks i am a slacker and a failure, he is WELL AWARE that my medication that treats my hypothiodism and the medication that treats my secondary andrenal insuffecincy causes me to gain weight, yet he still has called me a fat pig. nick is well aware of ALL of my health issues and is well aware of everything, when we were younger and i had a tumor in my arm, he got mad at me, and took one of his drumstick and hit me very hard in the arm RIGHT ON THE TUMOR. for those of you who have directly critized me and who have been telling me how i should have handled it and how i shouldve been nicer and blah blah blah (the ones who were nice about it and were more caring and generous to me this does not include you so i am not yelling at you i am yelling at the ones who are being mean to me) (not PSY) how about you put yourself in MY shoes, try living MY life, i am so physically weak i get tired walking to my freaking MAILBOX i wont be able to attend my prom this year, oh yeah, because of all of my health problems and ALL of the school i missed, i wont be getting my diploma this year, i also wont be able to walk across the stage because i am not strong enough, i should be in school RIGHT now, but nope, i still have TWO YEARS to complete before i get my diploma, so why dont you sit and think about what I have to go through on a daily basis before you start judging me telling me i am using my disorder as an excuse, and that i need to grow up, i am 18, i made adult descions when i was 12!, i am more mature then nick is, i make the choice weather or not i want to do this procudre or see that doctor, my parents trust me and know i am mature and old enough to hande it,. how about you do some research on neurofibromatosis. think before you judge, you shouldnt even be judging me because you dont know me.

to everyone who was kind to me, and gentle, and gave me sweet caring loving advice THANK YOU i appreciate it very much
And here you are again, using it as an excuse. Yes, your disorder my debilitate you in some ways, but changing the channel back is not one of them. IF you wanted to make a thread about you disability then you should of made one, but you made a thread about a petty argument that just got a bit heated, you DID use you disability as an excuse. And in the end, most the people on this thread have said the same thing as me, but in different words. Grow up. I don't intend this to be perceived as rude, but it's kinda true.
   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
FlyingTrue Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
FlyingTrue's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: United States (FL)

Posts: 1,048
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 02:59 AM

Keady, please reread Ashley's post that you quoted. These issues are bigger than the one incident. Considering if her brother was treating her this way for a while then the frustrated reaction is something I would expect. He needs to be moved out of the house I think.

And for goodness sakes everyone viewing the thread please read the article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofibromatosis
  Send a message via Skype™ to FlyingTrue 
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
combatbunny Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
combatbunny's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 22
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: September 30th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 06:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post

Wow, that's quite sick to be honest, why should people be able to use a disease as an excuse when it doesn't effect it at all? They should still have manners and what not it doesn't make them any less intelligent, so why should they get special privileges in anything? I mean, it's over a television channel, in effect that fact that she does have a genetic disorder is quite irrelevant and shouldn't be used as an excuse, people who do use disorders as excuses for everything are just as bad as people who discriminate against disabled people.
I'm sorry, but what I find sick here is your ignorance. A disease is not an excuse but it is something that there should be some understanding toward. If anything, it's her brother who's being immature in telling someone who IS in pain that they derserve it. Nobody deserves pain like that and nobody deserves to hear that from a family member. He's not too young to know better or unintelligent.

Being considerate is not giving someone a special privilege. Some things are necessary for people with disorders or disabilities. Just like you wouldn't force a person who can't use their legs to drag themselves up the stairs because they "shouldn't get any special privileges", her brother shouldn't force her to listen to his bass blasting when he knows it causes her pain due to a medical condition.

Like Flying True said, this isn't about a little argument. This is a bigger on going issue regarding her brother and a threat he made toward her (regardless of whether he intends to follow through or not) that is hurtful and distressing.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 07:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by combatbunny
This is a bigger on going issue regarding her brother and a threat he made toward her (regardless of whether he intends to follow through or not) that is hurtful and distressing.
Agreed, the threat is part of it and is the hurtful part of the situation. However, one has to wonder whether the threat came as a result of the tension (i.e. heat of the moment). Given the tension and what the OP said happened, I'm betting it's an empty threat that arose due to the tension between them. I could be wrong on this (although I doubt so) and the best option to deal with it is to just act nicer to him and him act nicer to her. The cranking up the bass and hitting her arm were probably the same things, a result of the tension between the two.

Nevertheless, his threat was hurtful but what else is there to do about it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingTrue View Post
Keady, please reread Ashley's post that you quoted. These issues are bigger than the one incident. Considering if her brother was treating her this way for a while then the frustrated reaction is something I would expect. He needs to be moved out of the house I think.
I'm rather confused as to why you think anyone should be moved out of the house. Her brother doesn't treat her particularly kindly at all times because there is tension between him and her. By kicking him out, the tension remains. The tension is due to the two of them, not only him and although I do have sympathy for the OP's illness, by kicking him out it essentially shows he is the one causing the tension. Given the way the OP is acting in this thread and given what she said she did while conversing with him, she is guilty also. A more appropriate solution would be to try to get her brother to be more caring towards his sister.

It's a last resort to boot someone out of the house so I'm not sure why you're advocating to have it done on a whim.

To the OP, quit this guilt trip that you're doing with the whole "imagine how it would be to live in my shoes" stuff. We all have shit going on in our lives, it's not only you but using your current health is not an appropriate way to excuse your behavior, which is exactly what you are doing. You say he should be kinder to you because of your illness and I agree with you but the same applies to you, you should be kinder to him. If you want him to be caring, then it starts with you being caring to him and vice-verca.

I know you want nice caring advice that ignores the actual situation because of how your current health is understanding what the situation is comes first, buttering it up so you feel nice comes second. You complimented those who gave "nice" and "kind" advice to you but if you cared to look at what it really was, it's the exact same thing as what others are giving just without all the gift wrapping.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
ShimmeringFaerie's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 1,990
Join Date: March 22nd 2010

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 08:11 AM

Ashley, I think you need to calmly sit down and talk to your brother about all this stuff.

He doesn't hate you. But I can imagine that he feels a lot of resentment towards you. And I wouldn't really blame him (it's not nice, but it's natural). You have a disorder that gives you almost a "free pass" in his eyes. You don't have to go to school, I assume you don't have a lot of chores etc. etc. Yes, you are in pain and he knows that, but it's very possible that he doesn't quite comprehend it having never suffered it himself. I saw another post of yours about airconditioning, so I assume you get some things that he doesn't as well. Basically, he is jealous of your life and that makes him lash out.

I don't think you need to be scared around him. Nothing you've said makes him sound abusive or anything like that (at least, no more than a normal brother). I just think you need to sit down with him, maybe as a family even? and discuss ways that you could make things more fair in the household and how you could both act more maturely around each other.



PM me!

Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
FlyingTrue Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
FlyingTrue's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: United States (FL)

Posts: 1,048
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 06:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
I'm rather confused as to why you think anyone should be moved out of the house. Her brother doesn't treat her particularly kindly at all times because there is tension between him and her. By kicking him out, the tension remains. The tension is due to the two of them, not only him and although I do have sympathy for the OP's illness, by kicking him out it essentially shows he is the one causing the tension. Given the way the OP is acting in this thread and given what she said she did while conversing with him, she is guilty also. A more appropriate solution would be to try to get her brother to be more caring towards his sister.

It's a last resort to boot someone out of the house so I'm not sure why you're advocating to have it done on a whim.
Reasons are as follows:

-Brother is 20 and should be able to care for himself
-Brother may or may not be leeching off the parents whereas Ashley needs the money for her condition, which will plague her for her entire life
-If the hostility continues the brother needs to be removed from the situation so Ashley can live her life in peace

If family counseling doesn't work, the best option is for him to be kicked out of the house.
  Send a message via Skype™ to FlyingTrue 
  (#25 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 7th 2010, 07:30 PM

my parents wouldnt kick him out and famil counsoling may be something to talk about with my parents, nick has been treating me with so much disrespect for YEARS. i'd like to thank everyone who not only sees my side of this story but nicks as well, but also for being rational and nice to me instead of telling me what i am doing and what i shouldve done.
Keady you are ignorant, you will never understand or even try to understnd what i am going through since the only thing you have to say is rude,mean and so sick i suggest you stop posting, i dont want to hear anything you have to say unless its an apology.
again thanks everyone for being KIND and giving me advice i can actually see myself using,(not as in oh i came up with this idea, as in mom dad a friend of mine on teenhelp suggested this), i will let those of you who would like to know how everything goes when i talk to my mom and dad about counsoling, and how everything goes. pocket riders are welcome(unless your being mean, forget it i dont want meanies being pocket riders)


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
BDF Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
BDF's Avatar
 
Name: BDF
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Europe

Posts: 2,523
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 8th 2010, 02:30 AM

Me reading over some of the comments/replies... I was just thinking WTF. Never seen anythin like it on this site. Shit... contain it. I might get bad sometimes, but I dont personally shoot at people that come on here looking for help. People dont come here to get bitched at and put down. Never mind if it's over their own mistakes or someone else's, makes no difference, u don't just rub it in. Ur just as fukin "immature" for doing it.

K, thats out the way.

As for you and brother. Without going into much on who started this row... you know, people make mistakes. U switched the channel, he wasn't even watching it properly it seems yet he just had his small outburst (stupid for a 20 year old). U could have just switched the channel back, but Ok, you were also tired, didn't appreciate getting yelled at for something stupid. Maybe he was tired also... neither of you did the right thing really. But personally to me it really seems like he was the first to overreact to a mistake that often happens to everyone.

But going further than that... what do you think might make him "hate" you so much? U have your disabilities, your parents probably spend a lot of time and money helping you. Maybe he never got enough attention from your parents, or something along those lines. I dont know what your position with school is... but you've probably taken time off several times. He might think that you're just getting a free ride and things easy going for you. Its ignorant him thinking that if he does... but if he's grown up thinking that and the issue never got addressed... then he's still gona think that. He wont know what its like to have tumour unless he gets one himself is he.

I hope im sort of clear. Hope Ive helped also.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 8th 2010, 05:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingTrue View Post
-Brother is 20 and should be able to care for himself
-Brother may or may not be leeching off the parents whereas Ashley needs the money for her condition, which will plague her for her entire life
These two I think are reasonable, the second more than the first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingTrue View Post
-If the hostility continues the brother needs to be removed from the situation so Ashley can live her life in peace
The brother deserves the same opportunity to live her life in peace. He may not have her illness but that does not exclude him from having the same opportunity to have a peaceful life. By kicking him out for this reason, it's saying the OP's life has more precedence than his, which I cannot agree with in this case one bit.

The situations between her brother and her are unequal in that the OP requires more money, possibly more attention from her parents, more assistance, etc... . I'm going to assume the brother gets less of this, so it's not about getting the brother to be nice and kind to the OP but rather about getting him to understand her situation and that the inequality between the siblings is something that is unwanted and that the OP does not intend to leech off of.

There still may be tension because of the above sentences and so that could still make the OP's life not perfect in regards to her brother. If there is less tension but the tension cannot seem to be removed, then depending on how much, I don't think he should be kicked out. If he does things such as consistently beating the crap out of her physically day after day (i.e. more than a hit on the arm or playing loud music), then I agree with you.
   
  (#28 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,018
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 8th 2010, 07:17 AM

I see many of the same members debating on this thread, versus offering the OP direct advice on how to handle the situation. Since everyone has made their point clear, I'd like to ask all members to either refrain from off-topic discussions, or to cease posting (if they do not have any constructive criticism to offer).

I would also like to remind everyone to review TeenHelp's Code of Conduct. This is a website where members should feel welcomed, not attacked or ganged up on. In the future, if you cannot offer constructive criticism, please do not post at all.






   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#29 (permalink)) Old
BabyGirl767 Offline
Meow! Woof Woof! Moooo! Baaaa!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
BabyGirl767's Avatar
 
Name: Ashley
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle,WA

Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: scared my brother may try to hurt me(SERIOUS, NEED ADVICE) - May 9th 2010, 07:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
I see many of the same members debating on this thread, versus offering the OP direct advice on how to handle the situation. Since everyone has made their point clear, I'd like to ask all members to either refrain from off-topic discussions, or to cease posting (if they do not have any constructive criticism to offer).


I would also like to remind everyone to review TeenHelp's Code of Conduct. This is a website where members should feel welcomed, not attacked or ganged up on. In the future, if you cannot offer constructive criticism, please do not post at all.
your very right, i feel i may have been a little to mean and a little bit of some overreaction, all i wanted was some comforting helpful advice and some help. i want to point out that i do fear nick because he is a lot stronger then i am and he has quiet a temper if he doesnt take his A.D.H.D meds


I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis, it causes tumors to grow in my body on nerves,my spine,and under my skin. I have a tumor in the thalamus region of my brain. I also have heartburn,hypothyroidism and secondary adrenal insufficiency these are under control with medication.
I also have hip dysplasia and scoliosis.




  Send a message via AIM to BabyGirl767  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
advice, brother, hurt, meserious, scared

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.