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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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He Can't Go - May 18th 2010, 06:18 PM

He told me he found out he has family coming, so won't be able to accompany me to SF. I'm crushed. I mean, I was aware that this was a possibility (the fact that he wouldn't be able to go), but I thought I'd be more prepared for it than I actually was. I literally teared up in class and had to keep swiping my eyes to keep from breaking down; it was probably more visible than I would have liked.

I was really looking forward to this trip, I mean really looking forward to it. I'd had a lot I wanted to do/show him and even if we didn't touch on any of those things, our spontaneity alone would have made it a great trip. I'm hoping to talk to him about maybe scheduling another trip some time over the summer, not even setting dates, saying something more along the lines of "we should totally go to SF another time then. " and see what he says.

But urgh. A selfish part of me is also terrified. We'd be staying at my grandfather's house, and to be honest, I'd wanted any excuse to spend as little time at that house is possible. I seem to be the family's black sheep, the fuck up, even though those words apply to everyone who doesn't agree to my grandfather's narrow-minded views and/or to his wife's Elitest ways. I don't drink wine, so I'm neither refined enough nor do I have any taste (I'd argue that they don't, as well, considering the wine they buy typically costs under 20.00). I don't wear make-up, so I'm ugly and the "odd duck" among my peers who will never attract a "proper" mate; I should mention my relationship with my current boyfriend means nothing to them. I'm a psychology major, which is a bullshit major that's not going to get me anywhere in life; I should become a doctor. I'm a social failure, anything less than an A-grade is equated to an F, etc. It's simply a day filled with lectures about how I'm going nowhere in life when that's far from the truth. But there's not much I can do about it other than prove him wrong.

Doesn't mean the abuse doesn't take its toll (my mother and sister have both cut him out of 99% of their lives, something I wouldn't feel right doing seeing as he helps me financially and pays for my education, which is incredibly appreciated as I most likely would not be able to afford tuition otherwise), but I deal with it. I guess I'd just hoped I'd have a friend along to act as a buffer and to help offset the negative energy.

The positive thing about this trip is that I still get to see my favourite author. [: So I'm excited about that. And I'll gain travelling experience by taking the train and buses alone! It'll help me for when I go visit boyfriend! So the point of the trip isn't completely nil. The downsides are that my sister won't go with me (due to issues she had with me inviting a friend in the first place, even after she turned me down three plus times ) and I don't have another friend I'd like to invite. I've got one who can't go due to class + she's not a fan of the author. Two friends have plans Friday, so that would conflict with the schedule of the trip, not to mention I only have two tickets, so one of them would end up feeling left out.

I'm not really sure what the point of this thread was. Maybe just to vent?
   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 02:21 AM

When are you going? Maybe you can take my butt up to SF instead! =D And if your grandfather gives you any crap, I'll chew him out. NO ONE calls a psychology major a waste of time and gets away with it! D=





   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 04:28 AM

Hahaha! Psych majors must stick together!

It's this Thursday through Friday, lawl.
   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 07:29 AM

Awww. D= The UC's are still in session until mid-June. =P

But all joking aside... I'm sorry to hear about your friend. =( I remember your post from a few days ago, and how upset you were about the possibility of you two growing apart. Don't give up, though! If he's worth anything, he'll come around sooner or later. Maybe after spending an entire summer with his new girlfriend, he'll be desperate to get back in touch with his friends (you being at the top of his list =D). And hey, at least you'll still get to see your favorite author! (Who is it, by the way?)





   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 07:46 AM

I know! Though I'm out June 8th, I think, yays!

And I'm not sure their relationship is actually going anywhere, lol. Their date is tomorrow so we'll see if he shares details or not. He said some really reassuring things earlier. Like when I told him about the abuse I put up with going to my grandfather's, such as them telling me I'd look so much prettier caked in make-up, he said "don't let anyone spoil that cute face of yours. " and he told me how much he loved my cuddles, how he didn't want to lose that physical affection because I'm apparently really good at giving cuddles and hugs and such. I'm not sure how often he gives that compliment, but it's still reassuring. He's also told me I'm an amazing friend, he likes me a lot and doesn't want to lose me. He was as upset as I was about not being able to go on the trip. He wants to plan another trip (maybe a day trip, hopefully overnight) with me to SF. So I think things are going to be okay.

Now, to wait and see how this date goes, haha. He'll probably post something on his Facebook, or if I ask him how he is on FB chat, he'll either tell me how it went/volunteer the information or not. I'll take it that if he writes a positive FB status or tells me about it on chat, it'll have gone well and he'll want to see her again. If he doesn't, then I'll assume it was more of a platonic thing. But like I said, the slight jealousy I feel was almost eliminated by his comments earlier. He still wants to make time for me, and that means something to me! I like being wanted and loved, then again, who doesn't?

And my favourite author is Chuck Palahniuk. @_@ Ohmygah, that guy is my writing idol.
   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 08:37 AM



I'm being a dork and thought I'd put up an update. I texted him saying "you don't plan on leaving me, right?" He said "I would never leave you." "Just making sure before I went to bed. <3 ily. Nini." And then he wrote back "I love you too. You're amazing." So I feel much better about everything, even better than before, and both of my threads can be closed now!
   
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Re: He Can't Go - May 19th 2010, 05:31 PM

Aww, cute! xD Closing both threads now, since the issue has been resolved.





   
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