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-   -   Non-PG13 (Strong Language): I heard something i know I wasn't supposed to (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t45810-i-heard-something-i-know-i-wasnt-supposed/)

drebin314 May 31st 2010 04:03 AM

I heard something i know I wasn't supposed to
Last summer I heard my dad talking to his friend about how my mom snuck off in the middle of the night to get an abortion without him knowing. My mom had me when she was a teen and I have one more sister which makes me wonder a little bit. I don't know if she wanted to abort me, my sister, or if I should have another sibling. All I know is she went to get an abortion and it made my parents relationship start to landslide (they're divorced now). I honestly don't know what I'm asking, but I don't know anymore... I need to hear something I guess. as anyone else had this happen?

primal moo May 31st 2010 06:46 AM

Re: I heard something i know I wasn't supposed to
Hey dreb,

I'm afraid this has never happened to me, but it sounded like you felt like talking it out so ima reply and you can do what you'd like. :)

You've been holding on to this one for a long time, eh?... almost a year of this buzzing around in your head and it sounds like you have more and more questions about it and, frankly, I don't blame you... It's a hell of a thing to learn about your parents and I bet it has really deeply affected how you see them and the divorce. Speaking of which, since the divorce happened in the past year, I bet that's still super fresh as well.

When you said you're not sure whether your mom wanted to abort you or your sister as well, is what you're getting at that you're worried that she maybe didn't want to have you too or that maybe she regrets keeping you? If that's what's floating around in your head, I can imagine that feeling pretty heartbreaking. I don't know what your relationship is like with your mom, but is this the kind of thing you'd feel okay asking her about? It's a big one, so I know it might not be the kind of thing you want to drop over dinner with company, or if you know you'll only have a few minutes to talk, but it sounds like you have a ton of questions that are burning inside of you. :( If asking her isn't an option, have you ever talked about this with anyone else?

This could also get even more complicated depending on how you (and each of your parents, I suppose) feel about abortion, but maybe we can untangle that mess later. :)

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