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musicgal Offline
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family trouble - May 31st 2010, 11:30 PM

Recently my parents have been arguing a lot and when ever they are both in the same room with each other it is so tense i leave the room. Im not sure whats going on but i keep thinking i have something to do with it, since i have been ill for about 7 months and ive been to many doctors and none can come up with answers so i keep thinking its my fault. at night i just lay in my bed and i can hear them arguing and i normally just cry myself to sleep

any advice would be apreciated
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Re: family trouble - June 1st 2010, 05:51 AM

Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

First of all, please don't blame yourself. Yes, your illness may have put a strain on your parents... but that's only because they're concerned about you, and are frustrated by their inability to make you feel better. Also, if you allow yourself to stress out over their arguing, it will only weaken your immune system further, and could result in your becoming even more sick. No one wants that.

I would try talking to your parents separately. Mention a few instances where you've seen them arguing, and remark on how it seems to be fairly frequent. Ask them for some clarification. They may not want to go into details, because this could be about something private (ex. their sex life), but definitely tell them that you're worried it could be about your illness or something you've done. Stress that you're looking for peace of mind, but also for a solution to this constant arguing. You could even suggest family therapy (for you AND your parents). You could all talk to someone individually, then come together for group sessions in order to discuss disturbances to the family as a whole (ex. your illness). Your parents could also meet together (with that same therapist) for marital counseling.

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