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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Problems with my bestie :( - February 11th 2009, 11:26 PM

So, for about 3 days or so now my bestfriend and I have been fighting. It started when she told me she was getting frustrated with me because she feels I don't open up to her anymore. I told her that I didn't think that was true because she is my bestfriend and that I tell her everything and that I didn't quite understand what she was talking about. She told me she thought that everytime she asked "What's wrong?" or asked who I like, I kept telling her it's nothing or noone. I don't feel as though I was acting this way. In my mind recently there just wasn't anything to tell, and I guess maybe she took it as I just don't tell her anything anymore.

She then used the whole "bestfriend" thing against me, saying how can I call her my bestfriend when I can't even open up to her. I told her I call you that because I DO tell you everything. She then went on to also say that I'm never there for her anymore, which is total bullshit. (Pardon my language). I told her I'm there for her as much as I can be and that I was sorry if it didn't meet her expectations.

Pretty much now we have been fighting back and forward and it's really starting to upset me now because she IS my best friend. She's started this argument with me before and nothing came out of it the first time so I don't see why she is starting it up with me again.

I don't know what else there is I can say to her. Any help or advice?
Am I not seeing something?


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to those who hardly think about us in return.



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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Problems with my bestie :( - February 12th 2009, 04:39 AM

Your friend seems to feel insecure of about her roll in this relationship, maybe that's whats driving her to act like this. Perhaps this is actually her way of trying to draw your concern to her. Either way, a healthy friendship doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell each other every detail of your lives, but maybe ask her if she's doing okay once in awhile. If you have other friends in the group it could also be that she feels like her roll as the best friend is being usurped. Give her some reassurance and see where that takes you. Good luck.

Last edited by Bishougen; February 12th 2009 at 07:21 AM.
   
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Re: Problems with my bestie :( - February 15th 2009, 02:03 PM

If like Helen says she's insecure about her role in your realtionship, maybe just take her out for the night, maybe to the cinema or out for a meal/drink or whatever you feel like doing, just have a good time. and if she says anything about you not opening up, say that you're upset that you've been arguing a lot lately, and you want to have a good time- you're opening up and ending the argument at the same time, ignore the comment and just go back to having a great night. x


Lauren

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