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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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L.K. Offline
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Defect from friends? - June 10th 2010, 11:43 PM

So every day I always hang out with my closest buddies at lunch and break periods. Lately, however, it feels like they kind of don't care as much anymore. They usually leave me and another friend behind (she is feeling the same thing I am), which kind of irritates us. It's not really nice to just ditch two close friends or not pay attention to us, and just be self-obsessed.

So we were both thinking of defecting from our group soon because it's not like they'd notice too much, yet we don't really know what else to do. We're planning on telling them and get a chance for opinions to go around first before making the final decision, but idk if that'll help that much. What should we do? Thanks for reading and responding!


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Re: Defect from friends? - June 11th 2010, 12:05 AM

I think everyone will feel like this at some point with a group of friends, and it's perfectly normal, I would say. In my experience, I would just go with your friend to find people who you would rather talk to and have more fun around. If the first group notice your absence and care that much, they'll make sure you come back somehow, and things will be fine. If not, then it's no big loss if you find people you prefer hanging out with. I changed groups several times throughout the last year just trying to find who I am most comfortable with, and it's a great feeling when you find people who appreciate you as much as you appreciate them, and it'll certainly help that you have a friend with you to keep you company until you find more preferable people.




   
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Re: Defect from friends? - June 11th 2010, 12:53 AM

Based on my personal experiences, stating the reason(s) why you're leaving the group, or asking for opinions from other members of the group, will only make the situation worse. It'll seem like you're looking for attention, or trying to get them to beg you to stay.

If you and your friend want to hang out with other people... then leave. No speeches, no tests of friendships... just go. If any of your old friends ask you where you've been, or say they miss you, THEN I think it would be a good idea to say it's because you no longer feel welcomed and want to try meeting new people.





   
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