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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Molly
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My house is a battlefield... - June 12th 2010, 11:15 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, there's a ton of issues with my family. My mom won't help me with my SH issues, she pretty much pretends that they don't exist. How can I let her know that I need more help? I already cut into my arm a lot, I even wrote "HELP ME" on my arm by cutting myself. When my mom saw it, she just hugged me and told me to put on long sleeves. We just moved in with her boyfriend and his son, and I'm not adjusting well. There are two other people there too, my mom's boyfriend's ex-mother-in-law (yeah, pretty random), and my mom's boyfriend's friend is living in the room right next to mine. We moved in with them before we even really knew her boyfriend, they had only been dating for a couple of months. So I pretty much went from the house that I had lived in my whole life, just living with my mom, to moving into this new house with a bunch of total strangers! And my mom's boyfriend's son is the worst. He puts me down with everything. He's always trying to be better than me in every way possible. I just want to get along with him, but he's always starting fights, and making me look like a bad person in front of my mom and her boyfriend. My mom's boyfriend even snapped at me today because I accidentally said something mean to his son. It just kind of slipped out... I don't know. I really regret it now. My mom's boyfriend and his son don't feel like family to me, and they're acting like I'm HIS daughter now, and HIS sister. But I'm not theirs. I barely even know them. Anyways, I just need support and maybe advice on how to get along with everyone. I miss my old home, and just want to get out of here . Sorry for the uber long thread.

And I don't know what to say here but I need to say something so it's purple and I can finish the rainbow

I haven't cut or self-harmed in any other way since June 15, 2010!

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops and even then, we'll start again and pretend that nothing ever happened. We're just dancing, we're just hugging, screaming, kissing, tugging, on the sleeve of how it used to be. Kimya Dawson

Hey, you should just PM me because you're BEAUTIFUL!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My house is a battlefield... - June 13th 2010, 01:15 AM

I don't think your mom knows what to do about your selfharming , just try talking to her about it maybe your best option.

Can you try talking to your mom's boyfrined & your mom about their your moms boyfriend's son? Saying your not really sure on what to do. Eather from what I can tell is 1. He's a jerk & isn't going to stop messing with you 2. He's a typical guy , that just doen'st know when to stop.

Just try to get to know them better & maybe exspress your feelings more to them, if your not allreayd. I'm really sorry about your struggle, do you have any friends that you can go stay with for a day or two ?
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My house is a battlefield... - June 13th 2010, 02:05 PM

I'm really sorry. Could you go to a counselor or stay with other relatives for a while?
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My house is a battlefield... - June 13th 2010, 04:31 PM

Hey, long threads are no problem. I hope it felt better for you to get it all down

Regarding you mum and your SH, I agree with StabMyHeartLover, in that she probably doesn't know how she can help. Ask her not just to help you, but be specific and tell her what she can do. If you're tempted or want comfort, go to her and request some love. See if you can spend a bit more time together, or if communicating face to face is awkward, you could write her letters. You might consider directing her to this site, so that she can see what you've posted here, but be careful because she might keep tabs on it when you don't want her to (for this reason, I joined a second forum that I can go to with things I want to keep hushed). It's unlikely she doesn't want to help, but I expect it upsets and/or frustrated her that she doesn't know how to. Communication is key.

As for your mother's boyfriend's son, have you tried explaining to your mum or her boyfriend that he's bullying you. You might not think of it in that way, but from reading what you've put he looks like a bully to me, and like all bullies, he needs to be sorted out. I know both he and his dad feel like strangers, but if they're treating you like family (whether that's a good thing or not) you can expect your mum's boyfriend to help you out. And if he doesn't, ask your mum to talk to him.

Remember, you can always get away from the household for a while to clear your head and feel better. Don't doubt the benefits of a good walk, or visit friends and relatives to get some friendly company. Your room is also a haven, though it can make you feel trapped to be inside and surrounded by strangers. And remember, though you might think SH makes you feel better, it's just adding to the problem. So I think you should seek help, on TH at least, for that too. It will make you feel better to take a positive step towards improving your life.

PM me whenever you need or want. Take care.
r&r xx

Have a free hug.

Why be stingy? Take another.

It's gonna be okay.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My house is a battlefield... - June 16th 2010, 12:12 AM

One of the most effective way to get someone to see just how bad you are hurting. Just having a heart to heart with someone and just telling them you need their help goes a long way BUT PROVIDED THEY ALLOW THEIR HEARTS TO BE MOVED BY THE PLEA FOR HELP.

Just keep clear of any fights and be you and go on with your life. Have nothing to do with anything bad that is done and just keep clear and keep peace with everyone.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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