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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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curlyclodagh Offline
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Pissed off because all my friends are changing - June 20th 2010, 10:16 PM

I had loads of friends this time last year, but now they all hate me because I'm the same person I was last year, I haven't really grown up or anything or gotten a boyfriend or whatever. One of my closest friends from last year is having a birthday party and isn't inviting me.. I have about 2 friends now and I'm really lonely in school. I have acquaintances but not proper friends and my social life is non-existant. I really, really would love a boyfriend because I would have someone else to lean on when I'm sad or stressed. I miss being happy. I'm nearly 15 by the way. What can I do to stop being so unhappy with my life?
To summarise things, my q's are:
A) how to get a boyfriend
B) How to bubbly and positive and approachable so more people will want to be friends with me
C) How to stop being so negative.

Please Help A.S.A.P. Thanks.
   
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MadPoet Offline
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Re: Pissed off because all my friends are changing - June 20th 2010, 11:24 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry things aren't going to well with your friends, I know that these kinds of things can be difficult. We change as people over the years, and sometimes it's hard to relate to people once we begin changing, especially as teenagers, and so we grow apart from our friends. This is understandable, but at the same time no one should ever completely ditch their friends just because that friend doesn't have a boyfriend or hasn't changed enough with them over the years.

I'm fifteen as well, and I've learned over time that it's difficult for a lot of teenagers our age to grasp the idea of what a real friendship is. They think it means you can be friends with someone one day, and have nothing to do with them the next. But that's not the way it works.

Real friends won't ditch you because they've changed and you haven't. It's not about changing yourself so that your friends will like you again, it's about meeting new people who enjoy being around you and like you for who you are. Because those are the kinds of people who will stick by you and truly remain your friends.

Join some clubs that interest you at your school after summer ends. That's a great way to meet new people, as well as doing some volunteer work or getting involved in sports teams. This also might allow to feel a little bit happier about your life and the way that you spend your time. You'll never be happy trying to fit in with people who don't accept you for who you are. Try to make some new, better friends, and I think things will look up for you. Good luck, and take care!





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Pissed off because all my friends are changing - June 21st 2010, 03:04 AM

Its normal for people to change.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You, as well in the people in your life, are in the process of trying to figure out who you are.

When I was in high school, I went through friends really fast. Being best friends with someone one day, and then the next month disliking each other.
What you are feeling is temporary.

Allow yourself to feel exactly as you are feeling. If you want to cry, then do it. If you need someone to talk to, then do that.
The worst thing you can do right now is to bottle things up.

Unfortunately, there isnt a button we can push where things could be exactly as we want them. It's something you have to work for. If you want happiness, then work for it! You can do this by allowing others to help you.
Heres a quote I read somewhere- "If you want love, give love. If you want friendship, give friendship. If you want understanding, give understanding"
   
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