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zeyn Offline
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Post Record of Events for evidence - June 28th 2010, 08:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My family is in bad shape right now. It all started in a cellphone. My dad is always complaining about how big his debts are, and how hard it is for him to send me and my brother in college simultaneously. He always pressures us to study well, and we have never been a pain to him when it comes to that matter. We aren't the best students, but we do make sure our grades are high, and we never spend money on anything unnessesary. My mom discovered my dad having a relationship with another woman two years ago, but she forgave him until now.

My dad started to get hooked on his cellphone again, and this time chatting also. He would always sit on the computer for almost the whole day and would only get up when he needs to go to work. Whenever I need the computer for school work, he would scold at me and tell me that I should have done my homework before, not minding that fact that I just got home and it's really something important. He would always say it is for his work, so I would just get up and go to an internet shop. Whenever I pass by at him, I would see him chatting with someone on YM with Hearts using as their chat skin. He always minimizes it whenever I walk behind him even that chat window itself is already restored down to a smaller scale. It kinda bothered me, but I don't want to judge. However, with his unfaithfulness to my mother in the past, I can't help but doubt him.

My dad earns more that 500$ a month and yet it is really a mystery as to why he always has a hard time with money. He would always blame our tuition fees as the source of his debt problems. I have offered him that I'm willing to stop so that he can pay his debts. I thought that this is only making him a bad person and I don't want to be the cause of that, but he refused. And then my mother showed me some papers she unearthed from my fathers files in the house that he spent almost 300$ for a jewelry. My mom is never a person who lavishes on wealthy things such as jewelry, clothing, and such. She seldom gets something and the only time she feels like shes won a lottery is when we go out together as a family to eat. My mom would always puts us first and never thinks of anything else.

My father is also the same. He would make a fuss out of it too. But it's not about being able to spend the money on you. It is when you spend it on others. We saw some papers supporting that he had a big bonus from his work. He also have money from sick leave, which we did not know about. We only that he goes to work.

Recently, I mean this last two months, there are people who went to our house asking him to pay his debts. I do believe they are loan sharks. They were demanding to get inside our house and put a price at our stuff. My dad lash out at them. He was very angry, saying that what he owed is just a penny. There were many letters sent to him in our house, demanding payment from him. The amount is just terribly big.


Yesterday, June 27, 2010, I saw one of the letters sent by a bank saying he had almost $1000 debt and had to pay it before July 1. I'm so scared at the amount. Well, our tuition fee is big but how can he have debts when he can pay it with the money he earns. My mom is also confused by this. My dad would always say that he never gets to enjoy good food because he keeps on saving for us so that we can have money for school. But then my mother discovers that he had receipts from restaurants, fast food chains. And on top of that his work provides free breakfast for almost $20. Me and my brother, in order to save, would only eat food that costs only a dollar and sometimes not eat because we want to save.


He cannot buy us the stuff we needed like fancy electronic gadgets but we understand that because we can't afford it. However, we actually can. Even more. He said he even had a debt of $5,000. How can he spend such money when we have such small needs. Our tuition fee is just a small portion of that. Our house is not half way finished. I don't ask him expensive, neither my mom nor my siblings. We only have one helper in the house. The only thing that we do is access the net.


Today, June 28, 2010, my dad got a message in his cellphone threatening the life of my mom and that he is under surveillance. My dad claims it's a threat message from one of the people he owes, but the messages seem to be mutual. I got really really. I took the cellphone and copied all of his numbers and the messages he receives. He keeps on following me but I always avoid him. He got mad and placed that dad authority to me. I wasn't scared at all because my mom received a threat and that I cannot take easily. He shouted at me and I answered back saying that my life can be also in danger. He got angry so angry. He couldn't take the fact that I his child is answering back at him. But he couldn't do anything cause I know I'm in the right position. He took my actions personally and my mom said to him that it is not about you and your hardships. MY LIFE WAS THREATENED! Can't you see the point?! I told him that if he were in the same position as my mom, I would react the same way but he was closed minded. All he could think of his hurt. I couldn't blame him, but it is not me I'm angry about it is my mother. I feel like anytime my mom could be in danger. Even me and my siblings. Feel like someone is watching my back and I couldn't help but be kind of scared. My dad said he would file a police report of the scammer, but insists of doing it himself. He didn't want also to say what he is doing because he says we might not want to go to school anymore because of it.


I'm sorry for the long story. I just want to write everything I know. Everything I observe daily. I want to write it so that it cannot be destroyed. I also want to share this because I'm really scared for my mother's life. My family's life. I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to about it. I'm really scared. So scared. I feel like my chest is going to burst. I'm really down right now and I have a quiz tomorrow. I can't study..
But I want to finish college and study law. I won't let anyone hurt my family no more.
   
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Re: Record of Events for evidence - June 29th 2010, 09:13 PM

Hey there. I'm so glad that you decided to reach out to TeenHelp during this difficult time.

If you want my honest opinion... I think it's time for you to contact the police. Don't tell your father ahead of time, because he might delete his cell phone messages before an officer arrives at your house. When your life (and the lives of your loved ones) are at risk, NOTHING else matters. You can take a break from school, get a job, save up money, etc. Your education can wait, and your material goods can be replaced - but your safety CANNOT be compromised under any circumstances.






   
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