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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 03:10 AM

Okay this one is super long but the whole situation was just weird. Please try to read the whole thing.

So yesterday morning I took my drivers test and i failed (parallel parking - i parked perfectly but i barely hit the barrier getting out because i was focusing more on trying to calm my nerves because i was shaking so hard i almost couldnt drive but thats besides the point) so of course i cried then i took a nap.

Well then I got my schedule for next school year in the mail and there were some problems with it so I was looking through a bunch of papers and looking at the course handbook for my school online and trying to figure it all out. My mom was babysitting my sister's 2 year old and 4 month old. Well my mom walks over and starts to move around all the papers and is making a mess of it and isnt paying attention to my sister's 2 year old anymore.
I calmly said "mom could you stop moving around these papers? I need to figure this all out then I will discuss it with you before i email the woman that does the scheduling" my mom gave me this weird look and continued to mess with the papers and I swung my arm around to gesture towards the 2 year old and said "could you please watch calli" well her arm happened to be there and my hand barely touched her and i honestly did not mean to touch her i was just trying to gesture towards calli and my mom freaks out and yells "you dont hit me. your the one that taught calli how to hit. you need to stop getting so stressed." well of course i was caught off guard and my day was already going terribly and she was accusing my of hitting her when i didnt actually hit her and i tried to explain that i did not mean to touch her but she kept freaking out so i yelled "why are you flipping out at me i dont understand what i did wrong" and she was like "if your gonna act like a 2 year old and not understand what you did wrong then go to your room" and i was so confused and frustrated so i just walked out the front door. and she locked the door! then called my cell phone. i didnt answer and she left me a voicemail saying that i was successfully locked out of the house and that i could come in when i apologized and stopped the little hysterics. Well she called me again and i answered and asked if i could go to my friends house and she said sure so my friend picked me up.
Then my friend had to go to work so she dropped me off at my house.
Well my mom and my sister were in the driveway putting my sister's kids into the car and i sprinted towards the house so i could get back in. My mom grabbed me and tried to haul me back outside but i was able to get myself in and she screams at me telling me to either apologize or get out. and i was screaming back about how i didnt know what i did wrong. and she screams "you dont deserve to be in here. i dont want you in my house. get out!" and I just freaked out at that and she grabbed my phone and my computer and she was like you are gonna get a time out like calli. and I was like seriously? im a senior in high school you cant give me a time out but i wanted my stuff back so i went to my room and she legit set a timer for 16 minutes (a minute for every year old you are) and i apologized afterwards just so i could get my stuff back and listened to her lecture about how i need to get myself together and that she is disappointed in me for having missing assignments last school year even though all of my grades were all A's and B's. and i pointed out how weird it was that she locked me out of the house and she said "its not weird. its a perfectly normal response" and i was like mom "i didnt lock myself out. my mom did. that sounds weird" she was like that doesnt sound weird and it was more like "i was having a hissy fit so my mom locked me out" and i was like that still sounds weird and you were the one that yelled first and i was not doing anything wrong until you snapped all of a sudden.
then today i had a friend over and i walked my friend to her car when she had to leave and when i walked back to the house my mom locked and unlocked the door repeatedly and stared out the window with a creepy, psycho smile on her face and she thought it was real friggin funny. i think its just weird and frustrating.
my mom thinks things are fine cause im pretending they are cause when she grabbed at me yesterday she actually managed to leave painful scratch marks on my back from her nails.
i legit hate her.
i cant deal with her anymore. that was the last straw
I have scars from her grabbing and hitting me and forcing me into rooms during past fights and when i point this out to her she is just like "well i have scars from you too" and i was like of course you do because i wasnt going to sit there and let you hurt me of course i fought back. its called self defense.
im thinking about "going for a walk" tomorrow and just having my guy friend whom i have a crush on (long story but he prbly likes me too and yesterday he asked me if i wanted him to pick me up because of what happened with my mom but by then i was already trapped) to pick me up and just telling my mom that i ran into my friend raegan and that i was hanging out with her.
or i might see if raegan wants to go somewhere with paul and i for a while so that i can get out of my house and away from her.


~Samantha~

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Re: I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 03:33 AM

That reminds me of my own family. Does anyone live in that house other than you and your mom? If so, have you overheard people who live in that house (possibly including your mom) talking amongst themselves about your mom's behavior? Could you have explained to one of them that you did not mean to touch your mom?
   
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Re: I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 03:37 AM

my two sisters used to live her but they are both grown up and out of college and living on their own
my dad lives here but he is gone for a week and a half on a business trip
my dad doesnt get himself involved in discipline or fights and the few times he has he sides with my mom.


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Re: I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 04:01 AM

My mother only physically hurt me once... but when she did, I took plenty of photos. I made several hard copies and hid them in various places. I then showed her one copy of the photos, and told her that if she ever touched me again, I would take photos of those injuries as well, and go to the police with all the evidence I could possibly gather. She never, EVER grabbed me again after that. In fact, she made it a point to sit on the other side of the table, to lean away from me during car rides, etc.

I'm sorry to hear about what's going on with your mom. I know that saying "don't worry, you'll be 18 soon" isn't all that comforting... so what I will say is "be pro-active". Start planning for the future by looking for a part-time job, saving up money, finding a way to protect all your valuables, etc. Then, when you DO turn 18, you'll be able to make a quick escape and live the life you deserve.

Sometimes, as strange as this may sound, ceasing all contact with your parents can actually improve your relationship with them in the long run. I did that with my mom. We were so sick and tired of having to live with each other... so when we had a year apart, with minimal contact, it actually gave us time to look at our relationship and figure out how we could fix it. It's been three years since I left her house, and we still don't get along sometimes... but it's way better than it was before. Don't give up on your mom entirely, because there's a chance you could learn to love her again in the years to come... but do try to take whatever steps you can in order to ensure your happiness and safety.






   
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Re: I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 04:16 AM

thank you. that really helped. alot.
i will start to be pro-active.


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Re: I cant believe it. I hate her now. - July 8th 2010, 06:30 PM

I really liked PSY resonce.
Is their anything wrong with your mom mentaly that you know of?
Can you talk to another reltive about her do you have any unckles or aunts by chance?
Or maybe your granma?
   
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July 8th 2010, 07:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by StabMyHeartLover View Post
I really liked PSY resonce.
Is their anything wrong with your mom mentaly that you know of?
Can you talk to another reltive about her do you have any unckles or aunts by chance?
Or maybe your granma?
not that we know of
ive talked to my friends and they are all helping keep me out of my house as much as possible but i dont really have any family that i would want/be able to talk to.

I hate being in this house with her. I feel like I am trapped.
I really dont have any family to talk to.
My friends have been pretty helpful.
idk.


~Samantha~

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Last edited by PSY; July 9th 2010 at 11:55 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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