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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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confussed :/ - February 14th 2009, 09:44 PM

i had a bit of an argument with a friend everyones sick of her never making an effort to come out but she expects everyone to be there with a click of the fingers when its her asking ....but she doesnt wana fall out with me she wants to sort it out....

she doesnt know me very well nemore at all and part of me wants to draw a line and say no im not walking in circles with you nemore ive been here to many times already and there has to be a point at which i say no more cos i cant keep forgiving her and giving her chances

but then theres a part of me saying thats 17 yrs of friendship your throwing away and all those memories you have together and it makes me want to say one more chance

but im confussed i dont know if its my head or heart saying give her another chance and i dont know which to follow when i do figure out what part of me is telling me to do which thing
   
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Re: confussed :/ - February 14th 2009, 09:59 PM

Try to do whatever you think is best for you. If you believe that she's just going to use you again and no matter what you say it's still the same then it's probably not worth it. But if you want to give her a chance then you should tell her how you feel and go from there. I hope it works out.


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Re: confussed :/ - February 14th 2009, 10:28 PM

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch with your friend. I know it can be hard to contemplate a friendship that has lasted so long. My friend and I were drifting a little bit one time. Until I decided to talk to her. We had both felt the same way. In the midst of us both thinking the other wants space, secretly, we both wanted to stay close. So, I think before you make any harsh, friendship ending decisions, I would talk to her. See what she is feeling, what's going on in her life. And, in return she should listen and hopefully respect how you feel as well. From that conversation, depending on how it goes, you might be able to get a better feeling for what you need to do next. If she continues to blow you off, maybe it's time to accept that people change. If she's talking things through and tries to change, it might have just been a misunderstanding. Either way, a healthy friendship works on both sides of the road. You can't ever have a good relationship if it's only you trying to make it work. I hope this helped a bit. If you need to talk, I'm only a PM away. :]

~Stay strong and have faith.


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Re: confussed :/ - February 14th 2009, 10:56 PM

thank you youve both helped me a lot x
   
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Re: confussed :/ - February 15th 2009, 02:48 AM

Tbh, I'm not much sure what I can say to help, since I'm not exactly the best person on working out problems in friendships. I agree with the above user, try talking to your friend about this. But be warned that this may not solve everything. Some people can be confronted over and over again, and simply never change, as is what happened with a previous friend of mine who eventually walked away and left me hanging there. I do agree, talk to her, but please - if she doesn't at least make an effort to stop hurting you after you have the coversation with her, think about what you should really do with this friendship. Maybe keeping it is hurting you a lot more than losing it would. Long or short friendships, sometimes they can't last forever. It's okay to give second chances, but don't give out so many that you're hurting yourself without even knowing it. It's a tricky thing, keeping a friendship...but remember to, that if something is meant to be then occasionally it has a way of just somehow working itself out. Good luck. xx





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