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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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newman Offline
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Angry Irrational anger - July 12th 2010, 08:58 AM

I'm not really sure where to start on this, but I'll try my best.

Due to a lot of circumstances, I had to leave High school early. I don't regret it as it was a necessary thing to do and I would do it again if need be. But the problem is that all my friends didn't fully understand my leaving and most were against it (I know it's because they care and I wasn't exactly very enthusiastic about it either).

Now they've all graduated and gone on to college while I'm still working a dead end job to maintain my house and support my family. They come home to visit regularly and we hang out and have a good time...for the first few days. After awhile I feel this anger build up towards them and it takes over. I start to get cranky and shoot them down. I become unpleasant to be around. There is a specific friend that I behave this way to moreso than the others ( I think it's due to some strong underlying feelings towards him).

I really care about my friends and don't want to lose them. I've had drunken rants towards them that I'm not proud of. I feel guilty ever day I wake up and realize that I was being difficult with them again. I wonder sometimes if one day they'll just stop bothering with me. I don't want this to happen.

Any ideas on how to control myself?
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Re: Irrational anger - July 12th 2010, 09:41 AM

Consider writing them a letter to explain how you feel and try to explain all you can and hopefully it'll come out okay. Im here if you need me just PM me


Jay

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Re: Irrational anger - July 12th 2010, 03:29 PM

This might be a bit obvious but it sounds like you could be getting this anger feelings towards them because you would like to be doing what they are, you know graduated and gone off to college instead of working and having more responsibilities someone your age should. I'm in the same situation as you, I love hanging with friends but all I ever hear is college this, college that and I didn't have the financial means to go to college so it makes me angry and I avoid them sometimes. So I don't think your anger is irrational, it's just a response to underlaying feelings or things that are in the back of your mind.


21:15 [Cromwell] Can I go brokeback mountian style?
21:15 [Cromwell] xD
21:15 [Cromwell] Wait.
21:15 [Cromwell] No.
21:15 [Cromwell] That's not what i wanted to say.
21:15 [Cromwell] -.-
21:16 [Cromwell] xD
21:16 [Cromwell] FML.
21:16 [Cromwell] xD
   
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Re: Irrational anger - July 12th 2010, 07:41 PM

You said drunken rants, which I assume means you drink? Some people cannot drink without getting angry feelings or something inside of them taking over, so maybe you best not drink anymore. It could be the reason you're acting irrationally.
Otherwise besides this, maybe take some time away from them or tell them you need to be alone whenever you feel this anger build up, perhaps you are under alot of stress and just need a break, and I'm sure they'd understand. Maybe try talking to one of your close friends or a Psychiatrist to help get this under control.
   
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Re: Irrational anger - July 13th 2010, 03:55 PM

I think you need to figure out why you are acting the way you do.
Do that before you do anything else.
Also talk to your friends & let them know that you really do care about them.
That you have some problems that your workingthem out.
   
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