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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Le Papillon Offline
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no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 02:17 AM

mmk. i have absoluely no clue what to do. my family sucks. as in mom/dad family. not like, cousin/aunts/uncles/grandparemts type family. seriously, my mom does absoluly nothing, other than sleep all day, eat, stay up on the computer all night, and yell at everyone for no reason. shes been out of work for like, almost 2 years now, and wont get her ass away from home long enough to even attempt at getting a job, wich she despretly needs, cuz the only way were still in our house is cuz my dad is finding a few jobs around the subdivision and selling weed/pot that he grows in the basement.the smell makes me sick, literaly, and they both smoke,wich helps my ashtma none. they yell at me and my sister for no reason once so ever, like, im working on my math homework that makes no sence, so my sister is helping me, and wed get yelled at for not cleaning the house.its like, what the f is wrong with them? and my mom gets mad for no reason at all ALL the time. and they dont even know that i know any of this, nor do they know what i go through everyday, even though ive practicly told them outright everything. and it doesnt help the fact that i now have only two friends besides people here on TH. i was thinking about letting all but those two friends go already, but then they ended up ditching me. four of them sent me txts that were no longer friends, 2 sent me messeges on facebook/myspace, and the rest i cant talk to/ see at all if im not friends with the others. so i have no idea what to do. i dont want to get like, police or anything like that involed, like social security, or whatever like that. i dont want to have to live somewere else. even though i hate it all, and i cant stand it, i dont want to leave where ive finaly considers somewhat like home. not fully, no way. put, partly, i have started to conider it as home. i just want to change the situaltion, but i dont know what to do. any ideas??


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 02:33 AM

To change the situation, you need to head to the source. You said you talked to your parents. And you also said they don't know what you go through everyday. Try and tell them what you just told us here. Try and talk to them and seriously tell them what you told us.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Le Papillon Offline
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 02:46 AM

ive tried to. everyday. but they never listen. ever. they always just yell at me for 'making up dumb shit that will get you in trouble one day and land you in jail with noone to help you.' either that, or they say their 'too busy.' yeah right! the only way theyre keeping us in the house is wrong! they never listen to me, and even though they say they care, and that theyd listen to whatever i had to say, whenever, they never do. they yell at me for it! they make no sence at all.


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 09:11 PM

Well, it seems unlikely that your parents will change their lifestyle for your sake... so the way I see it, you really only have two options:

1) Stay with them, and do whatever you can to improve the situation on your own.
2) Get other people involved, and change your environment with their help.

Personally, I would go with the second option. I know that you don't want to get the police or Child Protective Services (CPS) involved, but in my opinion, this is NOT a healthy home environment. Your parents are neglectful, and I would hate to see you put up with this for another 4-5 years. Moving away from the only "home" you've ever known will probably be scary... but if it will ultimately be in your benefit, isn't it worth considering? You and your sister wouldn't necessarily have to go into a foster home if the police and CPS got involved... you could live with extended family, or possibly even with a family friend. They might not even remove you from the home... instead, they may have a social worker come by on a regular basis, to ensure that your parents aren't neglecting you.





   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Le Papillon Offline
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 09:29 PM

ok. well... who should i talk to then? and, when? i mean, im not at home now, and i wont be till schools about to start again. and, like, how should i talk about it? im mean, im not very good with talking to people. even if i have evreything i want to say planned out, i can never get it out. im not good with that kind of thing.


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 10:00 PM

Do you feel particularly close to any other adults? Perhaps a neighbor, a friend of the family, or one of your friends' parents? Talking to them and asking for assistance in contacting the proper agencies could make things a bit easier for you. =) Otherwise, I would take some time to write down everything you feel is worth mentioning to a police officer or social worker. You already shared a lot of information with us, but you may want to go into further detail when talking to someone, so that they realize just how difficult your situation is. You could go directly to the police station and speak to an officer there, or you could look up the phone number(s) for the police station and/or nearest CPS department and speak to someone over the phone.





   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Le Papillon Offline
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Re: no clue what to do - July 14th 2010, 10:20 PM

well, there is one aldult i trust, and thats my old L.A. teacher. and i mean, i cant just rat out my parents. what they do may be wrong, and it may effect me and my sister in a bad way, but its like, i dont, i cant... what i mean is, i cant just be like, a tatletale on my parents just because i dont like what they do, or say, or how they act. theyve taken care of me for 13 years now, maybe not teaken good care, but they have, and i cant really juat turn my back on them like that, can i?


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
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Re: no clue what to do - July 15th 2010, 03:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowstorm View Post
well, there is one aldult i trust, and thats my old L.A. teacher. and i mean, i cant just rat out my parents. what they do may be wrong, and it may effect me and my sister in a bad way, but its like, i dont, i cant... what i mean is, i cant just be like, a tatletale on my parents just because i dont like what they do, or say, or how they act. theyve taken care of me for 13 years now, maybe not teaken good care, but they have, and i cant really juat turn my back on them like that, can i?
What was said before was the right thing. There are only two options. If you chose the second you have to talk to someone. Or you can go with the first choice. Think about it cause you already know that talking to someone will involve very highly getting your parents in trouble. Think about it and prepare for the consequences that you know will occur. But though it seems hard and iot probably will be, it seems best to be in a stable environment and get the opportunity to grow up good. In the long run, it may benefit you greatly. Think about it first and then make a decision which choice you will go with. But as I said before, it may become hard. but in the long run, if you go the right way with whatever opportunities come to you, you will be better off.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Le Papillon Offline
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Name: Samuel
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Re: no clue what to do - July 16th 2010, 01:56 AM

alright. ill try. thanx.


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
-Blake Bliss
   
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