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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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mum and dad are annoying me badly!!! - July 15th 2010, 04:15 PM

Here's the facts, my dad is an alcoholic,always has been,he's recently been told that he needs to quit asap else he will die very soon,he needs to stop gradually though. He was only told this a week ago and he sat down and talked to us about it.
But when we talk about it as a family, mum gets irritated and won't listen to him! she doesn't even give him a chance to explain and it ends up in him getting annoyed.I support him and ask him how it's going but sometimes i think it's not good enough because mum is jsut agrivating him and not supporting or helping at all.
But dad isn't helping himself either,he hasn't even stopped or tried to stop since last week, he is still on 1 litre a day, he doesn't seem to worry about whats going to happen and it just feels like i am the only one trying to support him!
I just don't know what will happen if he dies! me and mum are not that rich! we have pets to look after as well as ourselves. Mum relies on dads money to pay bills and her money is for food etc.He just doesn't want to change and she just doesn't want to support him.
It's really upsetting me, i hate alcohol! i hate what it has done to our family! i have just completed therapy with my psychologist about anxiety but i fear this will cause me to go back into therapy.
I'm crying my eyes out and would really love some support off of you guys and girls.
   
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Re: mum and dad are annoying me badly!!! - July 15th 2010, 09:50 PM

Take a deep breath, honey. Things are bad, but you can get through it.

Talk to your dad first, alone. Tell him how worried you are, how you're scared for him, and don't want him to be hurt. Explain you feel frustrated that he doesn't seem to be trying very hard even when it's his own life at stake. Remind him how much you and your mum love him and can't cope without him. Ask what you can do to make him stronger and encourage him with everything you've got.

After that, you'll feel better, and you can approach your mum. Again, try to do it without your dad, as she'll be less likely to get irritated. She's probably distressed and feeling helpless because she can't solve your dad's problems for him. She'll feel the same as you, and you can support him together. Ask her to try and not snap at your dad, to stay calm, and that you'll be there for her as well as him. You could try another family talk, only take charge: tell your mum to be quiet when she needs to be. Remind her irritation is the last thing you need, let alone your dad.

Make sure they remember you're still young, and still rely a lot on them both. Hopefully, your presence and support will draw them closer and give them the strength to keep fighting the addiction. Don't forget that you can't take all the pressure onto yourself, and take some time out every now and again to relax and de-stress. Talk to other people close to you, because you need some support as well.

Take care.
r&r xx


Have a free hug.


Why be stingy? Take another.


It's gonna be okay.
   
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