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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SessyRocks Offline
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She won't stop blaming us for the accident - July 17th 2010, 12:31 AM

I was in a car accident back in late April with my boyfriend. My mom still continues to blame him. She hadn't brought it up in a while, but right now she started again saying that I wouldn't have been injured in the accident if he had been driving more carefully. The car accident was in no way my boyfriend's fault. I do no blame him in the least. I wish she would stop bringing it up, I hate remembering it. I was so scared. I told her that she should be happy that he fought the wheel when we were struck so that we didn't hit anything else as we spun. Then I reminded her how when the accident happened she wasn't the least bit concerned about my injuries when I got home. She didn't care when I called her from the hospital either. She told me to find a ride home and told me that the accident was God's way of punishing me. We had been putting job applications at the time of the accident, but she feels I deserved punishment for some reason. While in the ER my boyfriend held my hand the entire time. Until they took me to the back to examine me, then he kept texting me asking me how I was doing and feeling. He was hurt himself but he seemed more concerned with how I was than himself. My mom never once asked me how I was. Yet, she feels she has the right to say he could have kept me from getting hurt in the car accident.



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Re: She won't stop blaming us for the accident - July 17th 2010, 01:15 AM

Hi April,

I'm sorry to hear that your mom isn't exactly accepting of your boyfriend. I know that must be difficult, especially if it's over something that you don't like to think about. It's not right that she blames your boyfriend, anyone can get into accidents. It's not as if he did it purposely; it's called an accident, after all. We all have them.

Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to be able to change your mom's view on your boyfriend. Parents are protective, and anyone that has hurt us in the past, even if it was unintentionally and they're not to blame, they may not be too thrilled about having around. So while your mom's opinion on your boyfriend and the accident might always remain the same, you can at least talk to her and ask her if she could stop bringing up the accident, because thinking about it brings you down.

She's allowed to feel the way she does about your boyfriend, and even though it might not be right that she blames him, more than likely you telling her she's not allowed to feel that way will only anger her. Instead, approach her and let her know that the topic of the car accident isn't one you enjoy discussing, and that you would appreciate it if she would stop mentioning it.

I hope that you're able to improve the relationship that you have with your mom. Good luck with everything.





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Re: She won't stop blaming us for the accident - July 17th 2010, 01:19 AM

hello april.

What you're in sounds complicated. However, just remember people have the tendancy of making stupid judgements and decisions when they're angry or their temper is controlling their emotions.. just remember that sometimes these things happen and theres not much you can do except to convince her that its over..

whats done is done.. maybe its best advice her to let it go, and that what you've experienced could have happened to anyone just stay strong and forget about whatever unreasonable thing she said. What disappoints me is that she didnt ask about how you eel. That should be the first thing a mother asks when something like that happens..

remember in case there's anything you wanna talk about, we're always all ears.


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