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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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my parents and their friends - July 17th 2010, 11:51 PM

i feel odd posting this but its not so much a problem with their friends more a problem with my parents and me, but anyhows, i dont really know how to start this but whenever my parents have friends round i feel less inclined to lock myself away, but in big groups of people i just want to hide, tonight my parents have friends round i know them rather well, so i talk to them and stuff, but the thing is it seems that when my parents have friends round like some of their friends are teachers and police ect, i seem to be more sociable, as i like to soak up the attention, it feels odd but it seems the only way i can ever get some good attention from my parents and be around them in a good way and not argue with them is when they are putting on a 'front' as such and are talking with thier friends, i just like to sit at the table and listen and join in with the convasation, but if we are at someones house , i just want to hide, does anyone else do this or have this problem i feel lke when i go down and sit at the table at my house when my parents have friends round it feels nice to just talk as such but i feel as though maybe im possibly attention seeking i dont know if i am or not but it seems the only way i can get good attention from them is in this sort of situation is it wrong of me to want this fake good attention from them or is it right, should i stop invading thier evenings as such and leave them to it and just not go downstairs or should i go downstairs and soak up the fake good attention, even though when i get this fake good attention from them i feel loved even though i know the good attention im getting is only because they are putting on a front and faking it and giving me attention simply because they dont want people knowing what happens when they arent here ? what should i do ? i mean like on courses and stuff that i go they say any attention is better than noneattention and if you dont get enough you misbehave to get attention any attention is better than none. but i dont so much as misbehave i more just invade their evenings with their friends is this wrong or is it right i dont know, part me of says it fine and the other half feels guilty as after a little while my parents send me away. what do i do ? should i soak up this attention or just leave them to it ? and does anyone else have this problem i feel odd like attention seeking odd when i invade theese evenings but it seems its the only way i can get good attention from them.



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Re: my parents and their friends - July 19th 2010, 06:14 PM

Hey there! You seem to be focusing on the attention-seeking (if you can call it that), and on whether or not it's acceptable behavior. Perhaps it would be better to focus on something else, though... like the thing that is causing you to do this in the first place. You don't need to say anything if it's too personal for you, but ask yourself why you don't have the best of relationships with your parents. Ask yourself how you can change your life, so that you're no longer pushed to seek attention from other adults. It may involve talking to your parents (one-on-one or as a family), seeing an individual or family therapist, spending more time outside of the house, finding new friends or hobbies, moving out altogether, etc.





   
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Re: my parents and their friends - July 20th 2010, 05:06 PM

i no the reason why i do it, its because my parents are usually drinking my dads usually drunk, my mums to busy working, and if i do go downstairs i end up arguing with someone. i just crave attention from my parents but cant get it so when they have friends round i seek their friends attention. i no its not rgiht, i no i shouldnt invade thier evenings.



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