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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Twisted Offline
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I think i'm gonna be the bigger person. - July 27th 2010, 03:09 PM

Well a while ago i posted on here about my pregnant friend, well since then we haven't spoken at all really. Me and my boyfriend went to see toy story 3 with her and her boyfriend last week and we didn't say anything to each other, nor did we say hello/bye. Later that day we all went round to her boyfriends house for a while, when the time came to leave i managed to say bye, and then she said it too after i did. Felt awkward but at least it was something.

The thing is now i don't know what's going on, she's pissed off with me, i'm pissed off with her and i don't think either of us really know why. She's got her pregnancy to deal with and i've had a lot of other issues to deal with and we've distanced. I'm still annoyed at her for saying how some people don't bother when you're pregnant because i do think that it's a stupid statement to make but you know, people say things sometimes. After thinking about it i've come to the conclusion that this whole thing is stupid, i care about my friend and her baby and i want to be there and support her and her boyfriend and i can't do that at the moment. I want to make ammends, but i have no idea how, i was thinking maybe through a facebook message, i don't want to do this face-to-face i don't like confrontation and i'm scared that she could just not accept my apology. I think messaging would be easier, since i can get down everything, and explain everything and i can make sure it comes out right.

I'm 19, she's 21 and this whole thing is essentially over nothing, i want to be the bigger person and stop this crap, i miss one of my best friends . But i just don't know how to do it, face to face is a no no (even though it probs is one of the best ways to do it). I need advice on what to say, i am going to apologise just for not being there the past few weeks. And explain how this is just stupid and i want things back to normal with us. But i don't know how to say it without it sounding cheesy or just not very good. Any help please?

Last edited by Twisted; July 27th 2010 at 04:07 PM.
   
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Re: I think i'm gonna be the bigger person. - July 27th 2010, 08:28 PM

I can understand not wanting to do it in person... but I don't think sending her a message on Facebook or via e-mail is the way to go, either. Why not write her a letter (adds a more personal touch to your apology, vs. something that's typed on the computer) and hand-deliver it to her? You can show up at her doorstep, say hello, announce that you have a letter for her and that you hope she'll give you a call later tonight. Wish her a good day, leave, and wait for her phone call! =)

I would make the letter short and sweet: you're sorry for everything that's happened, you hate how your actions (don't blame her!) have strained your relationship with her, and you want to start working toward being friends again. Tell her you care about her and the baby, and want to be there for her new family. Part of being the "bigger person" is to admit you were wrong, and to refrain from telling the other person they were wrong. Otherwise, you'll just be coming across as belittling and sarcastic, rather than apologetic and sincere.

I wish you all the best. Good luck! =D






   
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Re: I think i'm gonna be the bigger person. - July 27th 2010, 09:39 PM

Thanks that was helpful, ofcourse i'm not gonna make it her fault that would just make things worse, i'll apologise for everything and just tell her how i've missed her and i want to be there for her. It's hard because i don't want it to be too formal but i don't want her to seem like i'm just expecting her to forgive me (couldn't think of a better word). I was thinking something along the lines of:

"Hey,

Just writing to see how you are and i just want to say i'm sorry for not being there for you the past few weeks, i think i've been a shitty friend to be honest. Don't really know what happend, but i hope we can go back to being friends like before this whole thing is just silly, i want to be there for you and support you like a friend should.

Anyway i hope your all good, maybe we can meet up sometime?"

I may mention a few other things, just a few small talk things about her baby and other things just to show i am interested. What do you guys think?

Last edited by Twisted; July 28th 2010 at 04:14 PM.
   
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