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esfdhtfy Offline
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Feeling guilty - July 30th 2010, 03:13 AM

I'm going to be starting university in September. I had two options - to stay at home and go to a local university (that is low-ranked) or move out-of-town to school and go to one of the top universities in the country. I chose the latter option. As a result of my choice, I'm spending a lot more money because I now have to pay for residence, meals, and associated fees with moving away and living on my own.

While not happy with my decision initially, my parents said they'd support any decision I made. They're really worried about me and want to do everything in their power to protect me. It becomes overwhelming at times and I really do want to move away and live on my own so that I could acquire the necessary skill development I need to grow into my own individual. In any case, I chose to move out-of-town for university.

Now, it'll cost me about $17,000 per year (including residence, meals, tuition, and books). This is a lot of money. I am getting a $6,000 loan through the government and a $1,000 grant. I am also getting a $2,500 scholarship (every year for four years) and a $1,900 grant from my university. I'll have to pay the rest of the fees on my own. My parents said they'd pay for half, which is really generous of them.

I really appreciate their help, even though I may not show it sometimes. Thing is, I know my parents are currently struggling financially. My dad was forced to go back to school because he got injured at work. While his education is being paid for by the government, he is still only making 55% of what he made before. My mom doesn't have a stable job; she works as a temporary high school secretary. She has been getting stable jobs for the last year and a half or so, but we don't have any benefits (prescription, dental, etc.) so it's been rough on my family and my parents have been under a lot of stress.

I know they want to do everything they can to help me financially, and I need the help, but I just feel horrible about their current financial situation. They do a lot for my sister and I and sometimes I really don't appreciate them as much as I should. Even though we don't have a lot of money, my sister and I have always got the best of everything - we have Blackberries, our own laptops (I have a Macbook Pro), etc. They do a lot for us and we really don't see how much they struggle financially. It's a horrible feeling because I feel guilty...I mean, I could have just stayed home and saved them a lot of money...

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Re: Feeling guilty - July 30th 2010, 04:23 AM

Don't make yourself feel guilty. I guess I should follow my own advice before I say anything, though, because I also feel guilty whenever my parents pay for things. Your parents love you and are very proud of you for wanting to continue on with your education - why else would they offer to pay for half of what you owe? I think at around your age most young adults feel as if they need to pay for things themselves to show their parents that they can be financially responsible. So of course you're going to feel a bit guilty when they spend money on you, even if you know that they're struggling.

Why not take your parents out to dinner? It shows that you really do care about them and you'll be able to feel like you're giving something back to them. By taking them out you won't feel like you don't do anything for your parents. It doesn't have to be anything expensive (I'm sure you knew that, though..) because your parents will appreciate anything you do for them.

I've been through hell and back and came out stronger than ever.
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