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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bgold1117 Offline
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Moving on from a failed friendship - August 2nd 2010, 07:23 PM

Alright so things went down the shitter w one of my good friends. We had known eachother for 7 months and things didnt get bad about 5 months ago. First thing that happened was when I was DD for him and another friend going out one night. He had a damn attitude towards me the whole night. First I passed a parking spot that was a 1/2 hr spot and kept arguing w me that it was a parking spot. Second he blamed me for getting his beer stolen. Third on the way back he messed around w the transmission in my car on the freeway. Fourth he freaked out when he lost his wallet and to put more **** on top of it, my car died when I was taking them thru a drive thru. He said to me "open up your car" and I was like my car is dead and he responded by saying "No it isnt you ******* idiot, the batterys still on."


I went to confront him a few days later and he blew me off saying "im sick of hearing you complaining. I dont want to know what I did wrong". This doesnt make a lot of sense since it was the first time I ever had a problem with him. I know he was drunk and stuff but you can at least apologize for being a dick.

Second we live together. I always cooked food and the ventilation in the apt is poor so I always open the windows and door and spray air freshener but he always bitched whenever I made food that I keep stinking up the place when really its not my fault. Now he bitches that when I cook pasta I stink up the place too. Me, him and 3 other guys were supposed to live together so when I got home one day he told me I needed to make a decision asap about this one living arrangement that was thrown on at me at the last second and said I needed to agree to something I didnt necessarily want to or else screw you were going w out you.

Lastly, we all went to Vegas for spring break. I decided to put our differences besides for now but he kept acting like a total douche towards me the whole trip getting agitated at every single thing I did it seems and kept making smart *** remarks. For example hed get pissed when I had to go to an ATM for money when we were going out, he got mad when I suggested we sit at a bigger table for all of us to eat at lunch w people who were about to leave and got pissed when other people took the one he wanted us to sit at. Hed get pissed on the car ride bc we were all crammed and god forbid he couldnt have a few inches more of space. Theres many examples but my last one is that my friend had given me a suit to give him to pack in the car and hes like why the fuck didnt you pack it in before?

So the day after we got back I wrote him an email since the last time I confronted him about something didnt work, and he got extremely defensive and hostile calling me selfish and disrespectful. He said the reason hes been being a dick towards me is bc I have been disrespecting him which does not make any sense at all. He brought up the cooking thing again and said that I blatantly disregard what he asks me to do. I apologized about the whole cooking thing and told him what I would do from here on out but he would refuse to talk any further about that one weekend or vegas and said that I kept bothering him and need to take responsibility for myself when in fact HE IS the one that needs to take RESPONSIBILITY. Hes being extremely selfish, stubborn, and irrational.

So yea pretty much I had a big argument w him and decided that I would temporarily end our friendship until his attitude gets better.

Part 2

Alright so unfortunately i have friends that are also mutual friends w him. I decided to invite everyone out except him a few weeks later. So one of my dumbass friends goes and tells him after I specifically told him not to and then call my friend who I had been having problems w to try to fix things but keeps yelling on the phone so I just go on w out all of them to the party and go w other friends.

So yea living in awkwardness for the next several months would be an understatement to say the least. I ran into him and a few other friends at a party and I decided to be mature about everything and drop shit but when I go to greet him he blows me off.

So yes unfortunately he had to stay over summer in out apt and didnt move out when school ended. So it was pretty much both of us ignoring eachother the whole time even when I tried to be friendly by saying hey whats up and he wouldnt talk to me.

A few weeks ago he moved into his new place w a few of my other friends who are complete idiots for moving in w him after what I went thru and trust me living w someone and being friends are 2 completely diff things. I came home one day and saw a bunch of boxes and bags and shit of his laying around the apt that he hadnt moved out yet so I decided to clean the apartment and put all of the stuff in his room in an organized fashion.

He unexpectedly came home one day and saw that I did that and started flipping a bitch and told me that im fucking stupid, a moron, idiot, retarded etc. I kept my cool and explained why I did everything that I had did but he kept yelling and getting angry and defensive so I told him to shut the fuck up and walked away to cool off bc I was about to sock him in the face.

Once he left the next morning I was so filled w rage that I trashed his room w all the stuff he moved out of his room that I nicely put in and organized and punched in his moving boxes and tagged them w nasty comments. I normally wouldnt do this but I was so livid it brought out my bad side. I had also urinated on his skateboard and tbrush in case he retaliated. So I barricaded my room off and moved all my stuff in so he couldnt fuck w anything

So this week he had moved out for good but unfortunately I left a pan and pasta strainer of mine out which he stole. I tried to contact him telling him to return it but he wouldnt respond. So I finally revealed to a friend that was living w him what I had done to his stuff (skateboard, tbrush). And there was nothing he could do now that we were both gone for good.

It just sucks that this whole nasty fued affected my friendships w 2 other people but I kinda feel like my one friend was siding w him even tho he kept insisting he wasnt and still maintained a normal friendship w me. He was shocked when I told him about what I did to his stuff and hope he kicked my ass? Wtf and before that he was saying I should kick his ass

But yea sorry that was so long but having a failed friendship does not feel good. We were really good friends and you would have never expected this to happen at all and then all of a sudden he pulled a total 180 on me. I just wanna know what I can do as far as learning from this whole experience and becoming a better person. I mean im a really nice guy and I love having people around and I dont like getting mad at people I dont know if thats a problem too?

Im moving into my new place in a few weeks so Ill be meeting all new people and making new friends. It just sucks that everytime I think I find closure and think Ive found my 3-4 solid close friends something happens. Sorry for making you all go thru that but any advice would be appreciated
   
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AceJace12 Offline
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Re: Moving on from a failed friendship - August 3rd 2010, 12:33 AM

I had a best friend for two years.. we were like sisters...until things totally fell apart. i felt like my world was ending and it really really sucked... but the best thing you can do is lean on your other friends and know that even though it sucks at the time everything will work out in the end. and if they are your true friend things would work out.. and if not you don't need them anyway.


♥Love is everything♥
   
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bgold1117 Offline
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Re: Moving on from a failed friendship - August 3rd 2010, 01:32 AM

yea we were a group of 4 (well 5 but the other guy was never around and always w his gf) that were really tight. We were all gonna live together till shit fell apart. It just sucks tho cuz I cant hang out w the other 2 guys now bc of my broken relationship w my one friend. Im going to live w new people and live in a brand new apt complex while the 4 of them are living together. IM excited to meet all new people and make new friends but Im not feeling to great about living w new guys after what happened.

I dont know whether to take it personal or not that they chose to go w him and not me but theyll soon learn it was big mistake to live w him. I dont blame them for not wanting to get involved in our conflict bc it was a big nasty fued that wasnt going to get fixed but I cant help but think that one of the guys was taking sides bc they had been friends a year prior to me meeting everyone. I mean the other guy is a cool guy and stuff but I dunno. We havent really hung out since our conflict started blowing up. Ill just name the friends as B, J, A and C to differentiate.

B is the one I met last year and we became almost like brothers until shit blew up. J was best friends w B for a year prior to me and B meeting. A and C have been friends w J for 3 years so theyre just going along w what J does.

Ive been hanging out w friends from work and other friends in my fraternity when theyre around but I feel like I dont have a solid group of close friends right now it sucks. I just like that feeling of closure and now I dont have it cuz some ahole ruined it for me and I dont know what I ever did to deserve this.
   
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