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KruSuPhy Offline
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Should I feel bad? - August 3rd 2010, 03:02 AM

So my mother has never been a good influence in my life.
Since I was a child, she's been addicted to drugs, she's stole, and she even attempted suicide at one point.
Through that all, We've always been close and I've basically helped her through countless nights she's come home drunker than hell or doped up or on the run and comforted her.
About four years ago she went to prison for breaking probation and got clean. She came home, and she was doing good, no cigarettes or drugs or anything, but she started hanging out with the wrong people and doing drugs again. Still, I put up with her and loved her because she was my mother.
For the past few weeks though, she's come home drunk pissed off at the world for no reason and raising hell about anything and everything. A few times she told me she hated me and that I should move in her drunken rage, so secretly, me and my dad began to plot to move to Kentucky where his family is.

I don't mean to sound like I'm asking for attention, but my mother just tops everything off. My life has been kind of sucky due to family problems and losses I've had(best friend, another friend, grandpa) all in the past couple years. I just recently got fed up with it and my grandma began to tell me I was so mean and hateful to everyone around me. I told her to fuck off and I left. I've tossed my laptop at the floor a few times, and I've broken my gaming controllers in half. I've put holes in the walls, among other things. I have anger problems and they've really acted up lately. Like I said, we began to plot to move to KY

about a week ago, I disappeared without a word. Me and my dad were on the road to KY with everything I cared about in the back. I'm here now in KY living with a better family, a better life, and My friends are better influences.
I feel like people up here actually care about me and about my life, so I'm happy I moved.
But I still didn't tell anyone. Mom, Grandma, Aunt, Cousins, anyone down there. My mother called my friend crying wondering where I was, and I won't call her.

Why didn't I tell anyone? I wanted to avoid the crying and shit while I could, and get out of there. Now I'm here. Now They know.

Should I feel bad?
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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 3rd 2010, 05:53 AM

You shouldn't feel bad about doing what is right for you. Your mother is an adult and shouldn't depend on her child- that's not your responsibility. I'm definitely not saying you should cut off all contact with your family, unless that's what you want, but from what you've said, Kentucky is a better place for you right now, and you is who you need to worry about. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this.

Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be?

I'm stronger than that.
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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 3rd 2010, 07:08 AM

no you really shouldnt feel bad. Happyfacade is right. your mom should respect your choice in wanting a better life, one different from her choices and influences. in my opinion you have been a great son and you do what you have to do so that you can have a better life and with that you can support your future kids so they can have a better life. If i was in your position i would do the same thing
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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 3rd 2010, 05:06 PM

thanks you two. I had just been wondering whether i was in the wrong or not.
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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 3rd 2010, 07:51 PM

I agree that you should not feel bad for doing what is best for you and your well being. I understand what it is like to have a mom who gets drunk and raises hell, she and my dad both do and sometimes I just want to run away, never to return again. I'm glad you are away from her.

The Day I First Cut Myself...
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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 5th 2010, 12:44 AM

I moved out of my mom's house the day I turned 18. She was visiting family, so I had time to pack everything and leave without her knowledge. She also called me, freaking out and thinking that something bad had happened to me. On one hand, I wish I had given her a head's up, so she wouldn't have been so shocked... but I knew that, if I had, she would have just brushed me off, or tried to "stop" her from moving out. I probably would have been guilt-tripped into staying in her house for a few more months... and frankly, I didn't want to take that chance.

I don't think you were wrong to have done what you did. Sure, you could have had a friend standing by, ready to fill your mom in on your behalf... but with everything that's been going on in your life, I wouldn't hold this against you. It was difficult enough to plan ahead and move out in secrecy... I couldn't expect you to have ALL the loose ends tied up in time.

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Re: Should I feel bad? - August 5th 2010, 12:53 AM

I don't think you were wrong. BUT I do think something, your mom was crying when she called your friend. That must count for something man !! That counts for something, atleast call her and tell her to take care, you don't have to tell her where you are, you can explain to her why you moved and how much you were hurt, call her and just ask her to clean herself up cause you can't take it anymore. BUT MAN, call her, atleast call her and assure her you are ok, she must love you cause SHE was crying, please man, call her. Cause if she's in too much pain she might hurt herself.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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