TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
no.ordinary.dreamer's Avatar
 
Name: Samantha
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 358
Join Date: May 29th 2009

Question To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 03:33 AM

So my guy friend (who i do like as more than a friend) has been very helpful and has done a great job of cheering me up in the past.
My closest friends know most of what ive been through but not all of it.
I kept the scarier things to myself for fear of their reactions (for example i didnt tell them i cut)
Im fine now. I have recovered from all of that stuff
But i still feel like i want to tell them about all of it even though i have recovered and these things are no longer a problem
And i was thinking about who would be the best person to tell first and my guy friend is who i decided on.
so i have two questions kind of:
should i tell my friends about all the stuff i went through (do u think its a good idea to tell them)?
And i wrote this text to send to my guy friend (i havent sent it yet) Should i send it to him?
This is the text:
"I have a couple of things to admit and things ive hidden and ive been trying to figure out who would react the best to it all and i think u might be that person but i could be wrong and i cant talk tonight but i think at some point in the next few weeks or so i may wanna talk to u but i may change my mind. im not sure why im telling u all this and im probably gonna send u this text despite my better judgement. sorry about all this"

ANY help/advice you can offer would be awesome!!
Seriously any opinions/advice/ect is sooo welcome! i really want some input


~Samantha~

PM me anytime

Recovering Self Harmer

Rape Survivor 9/28/11

The Day I Met My Soulmate 10/27/11

Last edited by no.ordinary.dreamer; August 11th 2010 at 04:35 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Maloo Offline
Maloooooo
I can't get enough
*********
 
Maloo's Avatar
 
Name: Lissa
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: The US

Posts: 2,585
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 12th 2010

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 03:40 AM

I wouldn't send anything until you decide if you want to talk about it or not. The indecisiveness in the text could be really frustrating to your friend.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
no.ordinary.dreamer's Avatar
 
Name: Samantha
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 358
Join Date: May 29th 2009

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 04:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myss View Post
I wouldn't send anything until you decide if you want to talk about it or not. The indecisiveness in the text could be really frustrating to your friend.
I agree
but do u think it is a good idea to talk to my friends in general?
its just sometimes i feel like i never quite finished the healing process because i never talked to any of my friends about it (i never really talked to anyone about it in fact)


~Samantha~

PM me anytime

Recovering Self Harmer

Rape Survivor 9/28/11

The Day I Met My Soulmate 10/27/11
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,020
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 05:31 AM

In response to your first question: YES. =) I have never told anyone the explicit details of what my ex-boyfriend did to me... but telling a few close friends (and my current boyfriend) that I was abused really helped. I couldn't do it until nine months after I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend, but it felt absolutely amazing to cry and hug them after getting it off of my chest.

In response to your second question: I agree with Myss. Sending a text message like that would probably frustrate your friend. "Sooo, does she want to tell me or not? Should I be concerned, or is this just her 'time of the month'? What am I supposed to say in response to this? 'Okay'?" And what if you decided that you DIDN'T want to tell him, but that you DID want to tell a different friend, and he later found out? That wouldn't make him feel too good. =/ Wait until you've decided whether or not you want to open up to him.





   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
no.ordinary.dreamer's Avatar
 
Name: Samantha
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 358
Join Date: May 29th 2009

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 05:58 AM

Thank you so much for the advice
it is super helpful
im definitely gonna tell my friends
but im gonna take a little bit more time to think about who i want to tell first and when i will tell them
i think i will tell them by having them read a collection of poems i have written over the past two years or so. i picked the poems that exemplify/explain what i went through and how i felt about it all the best.


~Samantha~

PM me anytime

Recovering Self Harmer

Rape Survivor 9/28/11

The Day I Met My Soulmate 10/27/11
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,020
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 06:25 AM

Ooh... that actually sounds like a great idea. =) Poems can be so expressive and honest... wonderful to share with someone if you can't find the right words to say out loud. =D Would you be with them in person before and after they read the poems? I think that might be better than e-mailing the poems, then meeting with them in person afterward... but that's totally up to you. <3





   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
no.ordinary.dreamer's Avatar
 
Name: Samantha
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 358
Join Date: May 29th 2009

Re: To Send or Not to Send (Need advice ASAP) - August 11th 2010, 11:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
Ooh... that actually sounds like a great idea. =) Poems can be so expressive and honest... wonderful to share with someone if you can't find the right words to say out loud. =D Would you be with them in person before and after they read the poems? I think that might be better than e-mailing the poems, then meeting with them in person afterward... but that's totally up to you. <3
Yeah i dont think i could come up with the words to say any other way and the poems are very honest and have a lot of raw emotion. And I am hoping to do it all in person.


~Samantha~

PM me anytime

Recovering Self Harmer

Rape Survivor 9/28/11

The Day I Met My Soulmate 10/27/11
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
advice, asap, help and advice, send

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.