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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy I love them, that's why I have to forget. - August 29th 2010, 04:03 AM

A girl like me doesn't make many friends, and really, I can't blame them for not liking me. I act like a bitch to those I don't like, and I'm tired of giving out second chances. The amount of real friends I have, and have ever had, I can count on a hand.

There are these two girls in my life who make it worth living. Two girls who would do anything for me without having to think about it. They're my best friends. I love them so much, without them I really wouldn't be here to type this. We're sisters, we really are.

I don't deserve them. I don't deserve girls as good as them in my life. I feel terrible for lieing to them every single day by telling them that I'm okay. I feel terrible because I have to pretend that I'm alright so they can't catch me in my lie. They're going to find out, I know that they are.

The thought of hurting Hayley or Bethany kills me, it absolutely kills me. In the entire world, I care about them the most. A picture of them is the background on my phone, I have pics of all three of us all around my room, my inbox is always flooded by these two girls. I have to hurt them. I have too. I can't stand lieing to them. I can't stand the fact that I'm starting to become a bitch towards them. I told Hayley a few days ago that I have little-to-no sympathy for her being tired because she chooses to do marching band. I regret saying that more then anything because when she called me today she said "Oh wait, you won't have sympathy, I forgot." I know that she was joking because of the tone of voice she was using, but just because she remembered that, it just kinda makes me hate myself.

We promised to be sisters forever. I love Hayley and Bethany more then I love my own flesh-and-blood sisters. But I can't keep that promise. I can't risk them getting hurt by finding out that everything they know about me is a lie. It's so stupid, so selfish of me to want to do this, but I feel like I have too. Problem is, if I make myself forget about them, I don't have anyone. No friends, I'll become that girl that I was a few years back.

If I don't have them, I'm going to become even more emotionally unstable, but if I keep them with me, they're only going to be hurt so bad in the long run. Is it selfish of me to leave these girls when we swore to be sisters forever? Is it selfish of me to want to stay best friends with them forever because I'm hurting and I need them, even though I know for a fact that they're just going to be hurt really bad?
   
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Re: I love them, that's why I have to forget. - August 30th 2010, 02:04 AM

i would just come right out and say whatever it is. if they really are like your sisters, they will forgive you and understand. the longer you wait, as you said, the more its going to hurt them.
if they feel the same way about you, i know you'll stay friends. it seems this lie that will hurt them is also hurting you. the best thing would be to get it off your chest and get it over with. take it slowly and explain why you've kept it a secret. they may be hurt at first but give them some time. maybe put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel? would you still want to be friends?
its hard to hurt the people you love, but lying to them isn't always the best solution. if this is really hard for you, tell them that. just come clean and say everything your feeling and how you feel. theres one thing about friends, and its that the real ones will stick with you till the end, through thick and thin.
waiting to tell them this is only going to make the situation more complicated.

i honestly hope that you can figure things out and you can be best friends forever.


-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
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Re: I love them, that's why I have to forget. - August 31st 2010, 02:47 PM

Hey.

Just tell them how you feel. Its not your fault. I know it maybe hard but atleast your getting your concerns and worries out to your family. They cant blame you for that.
   
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Re: I love them, that's why I have to forget. - September 1st 2010, 07:40 AM

People may not always be aware of this but you can lie all you want verbally, the truth of what's eating at you can come out at the same time. When someone talks to you, you get information from just the words they're using but you also get information from tone, facial expressions, body language, etc... . Those are things everyone naturally picks up on and I'm certain your 2 friends pick up on yours easily. Some people are better at this than others and can essentially "read" a person. Your friends aren't clueless to what it is that's eating at you. They may not know everything but they certainly are aware or at least have an estimate of what some things may be. People don't even need to speak for others to figure things out about them. Your friends are aware you have them for support. They may have an idea of the thing(s) that are eating at you. Yet, they remain friends with you and with the bitchiness you said you give to everyone.

If you love them and consider them as family, then you do know that leaving them will cause more pain for all 3 of you. They will be sad at you leaving them and you will be sad of that too. It's not going to prevent damage, it's going to do damage and damage only.

You have a strong relationship with the two of them so you should just tell them whatever it is, just show the cards you're hiding.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
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