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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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happyfacade Offline
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Dad issues. - August 29th 2010, 06:19 AM

So, my dad left when I was in 4th grade and ever since then I've had a lot of problems with them. The most recent being his 3rd wife, who is a total witch to my younger sisters and I. She treats them horribly, and has been trying to convince my dad that I'm pure evil. Personally, I believe that she is, especially since I'm pretty sure that I'm not evil. Even if I was, it wouldn't really be her business, as she isn't my mother. But that's another post entirely. I asked my dad for a laptop for this school year, because my family's desktop computer doesn't even open Microsoft Word most of the time and freezes up constantly, and I don't really want to chance it with my school work. He's also been talking about getting me a car, because he got my brother a car for his 16th birthday. I'm not fully expecting either of them, because I understand that he doesn't have a lot of money. Anyway, now my dad wants me to go to his house for my long weekend next week. I get that if I expect him to give me things I should spend time with him, but it's his wife that I can't stand for 5 minutes, much less 4 days. What should I do?

Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be?

I'm stronger than that.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
someoneoutthere Offline
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Re: Dad issues. - August 30th 2010, 01:49 AM

if its possible, have some one-on-one time with your dad. it will be hard to avoid his wife, but if you can, try to block her out. disregard anything she says, because none of it will influence your dads feelings towards you. does he know that youy dont like her? if not, think about how he would react if you told him. if he does know, would it hurt to mention it again? don't let her get in the way of you and your dad, i know how that feels. PM me if you want to talk.
i really hope it all works out, and remember, its only a few days, and then it will all be over.
goood luuck!

-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
-red jumpsuit apparatus
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Re: Dad issues. - August 31st 2010, 01:00 AM

I think you should go spend time with your dad, and do your best to tolerate his wife. Quality time should not be sacrificed just because of one person. Don't give her the satisfaction. Besides, this will be great practice for tolerating people you don't like, because as we all realize sooner or later, there are a lot of irksome people in the world. Good luck

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the [mome raths] outgrabe.
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Re: Dad issues. - August 31st 2010, 03:08 AM

Like the first poster: If you can, ask your dad to go for a walk or a coffee or something; just the two of you. When you are out with him, try to tell him that his wife is making the visits for you uncomfortable. If you try to go at it in a way that she's being.. too disciplinary he might not hear you. Go at it like a daughter talking to her father, that you want to spend time with him and hang out with him, but that way that she treats you makes you not want to visit as much. Then you can ask him, instead of him going to talk to her alone, if you could have a family meeting to discuss what's going on. That way she can hear what you say, you can hear what she says and your dad can mediate the situation. That way there's no 'he said/she said' and your dad can be a part of it all and help you along the way.
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