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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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What if... - September 4th 2010, 10:28 PM

First of all, I just want to make it absolutely clear that it's not me who may be pregnant, it's my friend.

That said, I was talking to one of my closest friends today, and she said that she thinks she's pregnant. She broke up with her boyfriend of ten months very recently, but just before they broke up, she says they'd had unprotected sex. She said her period's not yet due, but that she's been feeling really sick the last few mornings. She says she's not 100% sure, as she's not yet due her period, so can't know if it's late, and she's not done a test, but she says she thinks she is. She also said that if she is, she knows she'll have to have an abortion, and that that would really crush her - the two of us are die-hard pro-lifers. I understand that if she is pregnant, it's her body, and her decision, and I'll be there for her whatever she does, but I can't get past the fact that if she does have to have an abortion, it'll put a strain on our friendship, because I will see it as her killing a baby - I'd see it the same way whoever it was doing it. I know it's selfish of me, because it would be her that it affects, not me, but I guess I'm just scared that it'd get in the way of our friendship. I know there's nothing much anyone could say for this, I'm sorry, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Also, if anyone thinks this is better placed in the friends and family section, please could it be moved there? I wasn't sure where to put it

There's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you have to pass a few bends to see it.

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Mada tooi anataboshi
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Re: What if... - September 5th 2010, 06:28 AM

If her period is not due yet, then I'm assuming that means she had unprotected sex less than 3 weeks ago. If that's the case, then it's extremely unlikely that she'd be having any pregnancy symptoms so soon. There's really no way for her to know she's pregnant. Morning sickness usually starts around 5-6 weeks after conception. Don't start to worry until after she's missed her period, then have her take a test and then you can deal with it. If she's stressing, it may delay her period even more.

As for your friendship-- imagine what your friend is going through right now. You two are both very young and not ready to have children. She is going to need your support more than ever in this difficult time. It may be hard, but try and put aside your personal beliefs for your friend that needs you. She's the living, breathing person that needs your help. And if she feels the same way you do, then it will be much, much more difficult for her.
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