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Twitching - September 19th 2010, 11:32 PM

I'm really upset with my parents. I tried telling them that I have depression. It hasn't been clinically diagnosed, but it's not something one can really miss, you know? My mom called me a coward for having the more severe types of depression(self-harm + some), while my dad got so drunk he didn't remember the conversation.
I had bumped off these thoughts and 'urges' for awhile, but they've started coming back. So I finally got the courage to tell my guidance counselor. Who called my mom. Who called me to yell at her for not telling her of these thoughts.
Yes, because that was so easy to come to you about in the first place. I don't want my family's help, I want someone who actually cares to help me.


"I have no doubt that each man kills the thing he loves-to match his own dying" pg. 67/Tree of Knowledge/Author Unknown

You can't kill love, you can only try to extinguish it...and why would you want to be the cause of the death of something so pure?
   
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Re: Twitching - September 20th 2010, 07:14 PM

Hello, Ally. I can definitely understand where you're coming from. It's very difficult for me to talk to my parents about the simplest of problems, let alone the more difficult, emotional/mental problems.

I think talking to your guidance counselor was a great first step! Unfortunately, your guidance counselor IS required to notify your family, if you imply that you might hurt yourself or hurt someone else. That's the only way to break confidentiality. So if you don't want your guidance counselor to keep calling your parents, you would have to avoid some topics.

That obviously isn't ideal (or healthy)... so why not start looking into other psychiatric services? Look up low-cost/non-profit community clinics and organizations in your area. Find out what mental health services they offer. The ones near my house offer individual therapy, group therapy, AND discounted medication! You don't always have to have medical insurance, and you don't have to receive permission from your parents in order to see someone.

I would also strongly recommend that you get a referral from your family doctor to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. If you can't get a referral without having to go through your parents, then look up psychologists and psychiatrists (preferably ones who specialize in mood disorders/depression or adolescent psychology) in your area. You may not be able to see one until you turn 18... but you could at least start looking now, and contact a few who seem promising in order to discuss hourly rates, number of visits, etc. Only a psychologist or psychiatrist can diagnose you with depression (or any other mental disorder), and only a psychiatrist can prescribe medication (such as anti-depressants)... so if you truly want to start getting better, I would recommend that you save up a bit of money and seriously consider getting a diagnosis from a professional. There are some services (even at low-cost/non-profit community clinics) that you won't be able to access unless you have a diagnosis.

Good luck, and I'm sorry to hear that your family members haven't been as supportive as you would have liked. =(





   
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Re: Twitching - September 21st 2010, 03:04 AM

Thanks for all the help. =)
Apparently it doesn't matter though. My mom told me to knock the crap off. At least I tried.


"I have no doubt that each man kills the thing he loves-to match his own dying" pg. 67/Tree of Knowledge/Author Unknown

You can't kill love, you can only try to extinguish it...and why would you want to be the cause of the death of something so pure?
   
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Re: Twitching - September 21st 2010, 10:30 PM

She can say whatever she wants, but she can't control your actions. If you're not being observed while you're online, you can try looking for psychologists/psychiatrists in your area via the internet. If you have a cell phone, make a few calls when she isn't around. Don't give up! =) I know it's stressful, but your mother is NOT as powerful as you think she is. Her disapproval does NOT have to prevent you from continuing to seek help.





   
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Re: Twitching - September 22nd 2010, 05:10 AM

Your mother may have been raised in the mindset that self-harm and depression are acts of cowardice or the person needs to collect themselves and keep going. She may also be observing the current teen cultures in that depression is so prevalent in the media and music so it's a way for teens to make excuses for not doing certain things. Regardless if this is why or if it's some other reason, try to look around for teen social groups dealing with depression, other mental illnesses and family stress. Since you may be a minor depending on the state laws, looking around for doctors probably will result in your parents finding out. Probably the same with licensed professional therapists in out-patient services. Many therapists often want to have a client be referred to them by doctors so they know the person was diagnosed and does have the given mental illness because therapists cannot diagnose, so they want to avoid any issues of suggesting a diagnosis to the client. Teen social groups would be ideal because parents wouldn't be involved unless there's something drastic. Other social groups run by adults but in non-professional settings can also be helpful because it would avoid your parents needing to know. A simple excuse would be going with some friends.

There are also online supports but these may be monitored by your parents, unless you take off the monitoring yourself (easy to do). These would be either forums or chats with people who are of similar age and in the same boat as you are or are there to offer support in a non-professional, informal way.


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