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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Arcenciel Offline
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I need to get out now. - September 24th 2010, 04:28 PM

I've been dealing with abuse in my stupid family for 17 years, and I"m so tired of it. Most of it comes from my grandpa, but my parents don't help. For example:

THis morning my mom was asking my grandpa (her dad) to help her with something. I was walking down the hall towards the bathroom (I had JUST woken up for school) and he looks at me and goes "how come you dont' get your skank bag daughter to do it." My mom didn't be the good mother and say "She isn't a skank bag." SHe said, "Because she's going to school."

I need to get out. I only work for about 8-10 hours a week....so I don't have enough money to get out...I also need to find a way to pay for my car and get something figured out so I can still go to my three schools.

I'm so ruined. Help.
   
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Re: I need to get out now. - September 24th 2010, 04:39 PM

I am so sorry. This isn't right. Can you stay with a friend? Maybe you can take some kind of loan to pay for the car/schools. Best of luck.


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"And if you take my hand, my son, all will be well when the day is done."
   
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Re: I need to get out now. - September 25th 2010, 03:04 PM

I'm sorry about the verbal abuse you are putting up with. Verbal abuse is the worst kind because it can be very harmful to our self-esteem. However, I believe that there are ways that you can cope with this problem at home.

One of the things you can do is to talk to your mom about it. There may be a reason that she is not sticking up for you. For instance, she may feel that it is not worth it get into an argument with your grandfather that may be emotionally costly, especially on your grandfather's side. She's probably not agreeing with your grandfather that you're a "skank-bag" (which is a terrible word to use), but she's acquiescing because she respects her father. One thing you can do to verify this is to ask your mom why she's not standing up for you, and see if she gives you a good reason like the one just mentioned. If she says something along those lines, then you know she's behind you but for the sake of harmony and peace, she's letting things slide.

But I know where you're coming from. Nobody wants to be devalued like that, and I hope you can find the understanding to come to terms with your grandfather. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower to ignore those types of comments, and I believe that you're not a skank-bag =D. As long as you know who you are, that's all that matters. This is a skill that will become useful down the road (i.e. not caring about what others think of you).

I wish you the best, and keep us updated.

Sincerely,
DC
   
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