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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Debs <3 x Offline
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How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 08:34 PM

Hey

I think my best mate has depression, and she thinks it too, but is refusing to go and see a docter or get proffesional help, and i dont know if i should tell her parents (shes 16), cause they are one of the main reasons she doesnt want anyone knowing (apparantly last time they flipped out and made everything much worse)
but shes really unhappy and suicidal, says that she wont be here by the end of the year, and has been this way for years, cant take it anymore.
she doesnt care if people will get upset if she goes, not because shes selfish or anything - jus cause she says its that bad. I dont wanna loose her, and i cant persuade her to get help, she barely tells me stuff, when i stayed at hers for example she wouldnt let me see her cry and so did in the bathroom

any replies would be appreciated, cause im really worried
xx

   
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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 08:44 PM

Hey Debbie,
It's great that you care so much and want to help her find help. Is there a guidance counselor or teacher at school you would be able to tell? She wouldn't have to know that you told and that way someone would be able to step in. Just let her know that you're there. Encourage her and try to stay positive. I hope this helped.


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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 09:00 PM

Hey Debbie,

It is nice that you care so much. Your friend is lucky to know someone like you. If this becomes a life threatening issue, I would talk to someone else about her. Someone that can help. Try convincing her to tell someone besides her parents. If she won't comply, then I'd tell. Make sure you give her that chance to come clean. Let her know you'll help her through it and maybe try and make special plans with her. Have you told her how you feel? That you're worried about her? Sometimes, it's nice to know people are worried. Remind her that you would be heartbroken if she died. If you feel she is only getting worse, then I wouldn't risk her life, I'd tell someone. Tell a school counselor, tell your parents, someone that can do something for her. I know it might be hard to do and see but at least she'll be alive. That's what counts right now, her life.


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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 09:38 PM

Hey Debbie. I really think it's great that you're being such a great friend, and I wish your friend could read the message you just posted and see how much you really care about her, I know that would make her feel really great. It's true, there's not to much that you can do besides keep on encouraging her to see a doctor. Tell her exactly what you told us here, that you care and fear for her safety. If talking doesn't seem to work though, and you feel that she is at a risk of seriously injuring or killing herself, I think you need to tell someone, whether it be a counselor or a parent, or anyone that can really help her. I'm sorry that she is going through such a hard time right now, but I am glad that she has someone who cares this much as a friend. Hang in there. Hope you and your friend feel better soon. x





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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 09:50 PM

Hey Debbie, you seem like a really great friend. You should tell her that she needs to talk to someone about it. If she is too shy, go with her to talk about it to an adult that she trusts. I think one of you need to get some help for her.
   
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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 10:43 PM

Thanks for the reply's (:

Yeah, I know i should and probs will if it gets any worse, but shes had 'help' from the school before, and it hasnt helped, she hated the person who 'dobbed her in', because the school had to get her parents involved

x
   
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Re: How can i help her? - February 19th 2009, 11:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Debs <3 x View Post
Thanks for the reply's (:

Yeah, I know i should and probs will if it gets any worse, but shes had 'help' from the school before, and it hasnt helped, she hated the person who 'dobbed her in', because the school had to get her parents involved

x
I think that if you do tell someone you might risk damaging your friendship, in a slight way. But a damaged friendship is easier to repair then a damaged life, right? Doing all you can for your friend is what counts most ( :





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