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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Alli Cat Offline
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My Friend is Making All the Wrong Choices - October 11th 2010, 02:17 AM

Wow. It's been a long, long time since I've been here.
Anyhoo.

My best friend since 1st grade, 'Beth,' has been making bad choices. She's had an eating disorder in the past and thought about suicide. It's been years, though, since any of that got really bad. She's better now.

Or so I thought. She seems to be replacing bad habits with worse ones.

I went to her house over the weekend, and we watched a movie while her parents were gone. She excused herself for a minute, told me to wait in the living room, and she went to the kitchen. I thought nothing of it until I heard something clank. After much interrogation, she revealed that she had just drank some alcohol (Beth is 15). When I asked her how long this has been going on, all she said was, "A while."

On top of that, she confided in me that she had started to take prescription drugs every so often.

Her home life isn't bad, but it isn't good. Her parents are good people but not good parents. If I told them, nothing would change except they would yell at her even more.

I'm so worried about Beth. I'm the only one that knows about this besides her boyfriend (who she has gone too far with too quickly, and that is another worry).

I don't know what to do to help her.
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Re: My Friend is Making All the Wrong Choices - October 11th 2010, 06:23 PM

At your age and even at my age friends do things like this. I am glad to see that you are concerned for her. If I say so myself, I was and sort of am like your friend. I don't know how bad it has gotten for her, I could be pretty bad myself at times.
Have you expressed to her that you are worried about her and the things she is doing. Tell her that she has you scared. Because drinking and taking prescription drugs is not healthy, especially at her age. It can be very dangerous. I was hooked on prescription drugs for a while and actually attempted suicide on them and it ended me in the hospital. Tell her your concerns.
I am sorry that she is going too far with her boyfriend, that you can't really stop and I know it worries you. But all you can do is make sure she is being smart about it.

You can tell someone, tell someone at school or another family member of hers. You might need some proof, so ask your friend questions about what prescriptions is she taking and how often and how many. You could and really should tell her parents. You truly don't know how they will react. Regardless if they are not "good" parents they ARE her PARENTS and they need to know.


Always remember to put your happiness first.
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Re: My Friend is Making All the Wrong Choices - October 12th 2010, 05:09 AM

I have told her that I'm worried about her health. She never really says anything, so maybe she's listening.

She tells me that she does this because she's "addicted to danger." That has me fearing that there's worse to come in the future.
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Re: My Friend is Making All the Wrong Choices - October 12th 2010, 04:36 PM

You should feel fear, this means you really do need to tell someone and you need to tell them before things get worse. Her parents or someone at school. You REALLY need to tell someone.


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Re: My Friend is Making All the Wrong Choices - October 12th 2010, 09:35 PM

You can do two things:
Be there for her, she has to make her own choices and live with the consequences. You can express your concern to her, and what your fears for her are. I'm sure she will be willing to listen, but in the end she will make up her own mind.
Tell a trusted adult about her drinking and taking drugs, she will probably not like it right now but later on she will realize it's for her own good.
Good luck.


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