TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
rescueisnotamyth's Avatar
 
Name: kaylyn
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: northern indiana

Posts: 295
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: February 14th 2009

my best friend... (or not?) - February 20th 2009, 09:22 PM

I've known the girl I call my best friend for 4 years. ((go to my blog if you want to know more about my/our past)) We used to be great friends... and we always got along (we had our fights, but we always made up).

In middle school her grades weren't all that great... she didn't really care. Her parents didn't either, so she didn't try to do well in her classes. We came into high school and she applied her middle school habits to high school coursework. She barely passed her first semester classes... but she didn't seem too worried. Her parents had tried to get her to bring up her grades, grounding her from every possible thing, but she still didn't apply herself.

As second semester started her parents began discussing putting her into an alternative school (for dropouts and stuff) and she thought it would be perfect. They didn't figure that she would get a spot until next school year, so they went to the meetings and stuff to register her for next school year. Then she came into school two days later with "great" news... she was switching schools the following Monday. But she would still come for her three afternoon classes. "Isn't that great news!?" Maybe for her... but for her boyfriend and I, it wasn't.

The stress between her and I got greater, and we had no time to talk. Monday she came in and told us all about her new school. ((I'm not going to explain about it, it'll make me even more mad))

Through all the stress with her and the rest of my family I also began cutting again. I thought maybe she would help support me... but she didn't. She just wanted me to "get better" and to stop cussing... which I don't cuss all that often, but she seems to think that I should be absolutely perfect.

Last weekend I went to her house to spend the night and talk to her about my cutting and about her school and about the stress and stuff... but she wouldn't talk about it. She refused to.

Then today after school we got into a fight about her leaving. She insisted that it was a "God thing" but I disagreed. I tried to tell her about how I thought her parents should have just sent her to public school, and that they had overreacted and that I thought she should have just learned her lesson by failing her freshman year. As we were arguing I had to control myself so I would just yell "FUCK YOU!" at her then walk away. (because I probably would have gotten suspended had any teachers overheard)

I just don't know what to do... I haven't told her about my latest little escapade with a razor... I know I couldn't deal with the guilt she would dump on me for it. I've been keeping too many secrets from her... and I just don't know what to do. It's not the same with her anymore.

**sigh**


I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?

el rescate no es un mito
  Send a message via AIM to rescueisnotamyth  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
VanishingActs Offline
~kiss it better~
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
VanishingActs's Avatar
 
Name: Vicki
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 521
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: my best friend... (or not?) - February 20th 2009, 09:35 PM

Hey there,

I am really sorry to hear that things are difficult for you at the moment. Communication is the key in all relationships and I think you should try and talk to your friend about things. Try and stay as calm as possible as getting angry will not help matters. Tell her exactly how you feel, explain to her you feel things have changed and you want to make it better again, tell her you want to be able to talk to her about your self harm and you want to be close again. See how she responds to this. If she seems unwilling to try and work anything out at all then I would just let the situation cool down for a while. In the mean time focus on chatting to new people and maintaining other friendships.

I know it isn't really what you asked for but I would recommend that when you next feel the urge to self harm to try and take yourself away from the trigger and try to distract yourself. Try using healthy alternatives instead such as holding icecubes, going for a jog or listening to music. Many more ideas can be found in this thread right here: http://teenhelp.org/forums/showthread.php?t=130

I hope this helps.
Take care,
Vicki




Live on love.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friend

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.