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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Junior TeenHelper
rescueisnotamyth's Avatar
Name: kaylyn
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: northern indiana

Posts: 295
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: February 14th 2009

my best friend... (or not?) - February 20th 2009, 09:22 PM

I've known the girl I call my best friend for 4 years. ((go to my blog if you want to know more about my/our past)) We used to be great friends... and we always got along (we had our fights, but we always made up).

In middle school her grades weren't all that great... she didn't really care. Her parents didn't either, so she didn't try to do well in her classes. We came into high school and she applied her middle school habits to high school coursework. She barely passed her first semester classes... but she didn't seem too worried. Her parents had tried to get her to bring up her grades, grounding her from every possible thing, but she still didn't apply herself.

As second semester started her parents began discussing putting her into an alternative school (for dropouts and stuff) and she thought it would be perfect. They didn't figure that she would get a spot until next school year, so they went to the meetings and stuff to register her for next school year. Then she came into school two days later with "great" news... she was switching schools the following Monday. But she would still come for her three afternoon classes. "Isn't that great news!?" Maybe for her... but for her boyfriend and I, it wasn't.

The stress between her and I got greater, and we had no time to talk. Monday she came in and told us all about her new school. ((I'm not going to explain about it, it'll make me even more mad))

Through all the stress with her and the rest of my family I also began cutting again. I thought maybe she would help support me... but she didn't. She just wanted me to "get better" and to stop cussing... which I don't cuss all that often, but she seems to think that I should be absolutely perfect.

Last weekend I went to her house to spend the night and talk to her about my cutting and about her school and about the stress and stuff... but she wouldn't talk about it. She refused to.

Then today after school we got into a fight about her leaving. She insisted that it was a "God thing" but I disagreed. I tried to tell her about how I thought her parents should have just sent her to public school, and that they had overreacted and that I thought she should have just learned her lesson by failing her freshman year. As we were arguing I had to control myself so I would just yell "FUCK YOU!" at her then walk away. (because I probably would have gotten suspended had any teachers overheard)

I just don't know what to do... I haven't told her about my latest little escapade with a razor... I know I couldn't deal with the guilt she would dump on me for it. I've been keeping too many secrets from her... and I just don't know what to do. It's not the same with her anymore.


I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?

el rescate no es un mito
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
VanishingActs Offline
~kiss it better~
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Name: Vicki
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 521
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: my best friend... (or not?) - February 20th 2009, 09:35 PM

Hey there,

I am really sorry to hear that things are difficult for you at the moment. Communication is the key in all relationships and I think you should try and talk to your friend about things. Try and stay as calm as possible as getting angry will not help matters. Tell her exactly how you feel, explain to her you feel things have changed and you want to make it better again, tell her you want to be able to talk to her about your self harm and you want to be close again. See how she responds to this. If she seems unwilling to try and work anything out at all then I would just let the situation cool down for a while. In the mean time focus on chatting to new people and maintaining other friendships.

I know it isn't really what you asked for but I would recommend that when you next feel the urge to self harm to try and take yourself away from the trigger and try to distract yourself. Try using healthy alternatives instead such as holding icecubes, going for a jog or listening to music. Many more ideas can be found in this thread right here: http://teenhelp.org/forums/showthread.php?t=130

I hope this helps.
Take care,

Live on love.
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