Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
chaz Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
chaz's Avatar
Age: 24

Posts: 1
Join Date: January 5th 2010

i got a letter from my parents - November 5th 2010, 07:45 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i got a letter from my parents and idk what to think now.

a bit of background :

my mum and dad beat me and abused me physically and sexually from the age of 4/5. i got away from them in end of January this year and they got sent to jail in July now they have sent me a letter saying.

hi baby

its only a letter to say that we only did that stuff to protect u from yourself. you were always a very difficult child never listend and ur dad wanted to change u. it was the best way. you shouldnt have gone to the doctors and police you are our baby and it will never change u belong to us.
see u soon
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
CanadaCraig Offline
Senior TeenHelper
CanadaCraig's Avatar
Age: 56
Gender: Male

Posts: 854
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 5th 2010, 09:31 PM

Hi Chaz!!

I am truly sorry to hear about what happened to you. I KNOW that what you experienced was a lot more dramatic than a few words could ever possibly describe - so my heart goes out to you. I am GLAD however - that it finally came to an end AND that those who hurt you are now in jail.

I think that one of the most difficult things for a child to accept is that their parents are people. That might sound like an odd thing to say - but it's true. And because they ARE people - they can have emotional and mental problems just like anyone else. And that is exactly what your mum and dad have. They are NOT OK. They both have a LOT of problems. [As you know] But because you know that - you're going to have to accept that it's very unlikely that either one of them are EVER going to be the parents that you needed them to be. They have already proven to you that they are incapable - for whatever reason - to live up to the responsibilities that go along with being a proper mum and a dad. They saw you as something they owned - and therefore something that they could use. But a child is NEVER some 'thing' that someone owns. And a child is certainly NOT some 'thing' that someone has any right to USE. But people with emotional and/or mental problems DO things that a healthier person would never do.

Rest assured - no matter what they did to you - no matter how often they did what they did - YOU are STILL a very precious and valuable human being. Your worth as a person was NOT EFFECT AT ALL. What your parents did revealed THEIR character - NOT YOURS. You are completely and absolutely blameless for what happened. I hope you already know that.

Your future is yours. You can be whoever it is you want to be. And I trust that given what you have gone through that you are going to focus on bringing a little joy to this world. That you are going to be someone who stands up for those who are still where you used to be. You are going to be a 'good guy'. [Which is something that you already are!]

As for how to respond to that letter?

I say - rip it up! You do NOT need that letter in your life - just so you can read it over and over again and make yourself feel bad. The words in that letter are quite obviously from someone who is still 'not well'. And that's OK. Someone will try to help them. But that someone is NOT going to be YOU. You are NOT responsible for your parents emotional and mental problems.

I hope you'll accept my friendship request. If not that's OK. No pressure!!

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
I've been here a while
Jacksonian's Avatar
Name: Jackson
Gender: Male
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Posts: 1,522
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: November 6th 2009

Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 6th 2010, 01:03 AM

What they did to you was wrong. Forgive them but what they are saying makes no sense. I suggest you forgive them and forget the letter also. Sure you are their child, that doesn't mean that what they did was right, it was wrong.

If you are a difficult child(make life hard for other people your age, bully people or just hurt people), then start being good and be a good person and go on with your life.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; November 6th 2010 at 01:12 AM.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
thebigmole Offline
I've been here a while
thebigmole's Avatar
Name: Taylor
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Orlando, Fl

Posts: 1,668
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 7th 2010, 10:05 PM

Rip up the letter, and just try to forget it. And try to forget them as well. You have to go on with your life, as hard as it's going to be. I know people always say, they are your parents and you should forgive them. I say if you don't want to forgive them that certainly doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human. If you don't want to forgive them by all means don't, I certainly wouldn't blame you.

As for what they said in your letter, there is NO justification for what they did to you. None. And there is no circumstance in the world that what they did to you was right. Obviously your parents have serious issues and need mental help. And I hope you realize that it's not your responsibility to get them help, you did what you needed to do for you and you should never feel bad for that.

Good luck!

"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
Closed Thread


letter, parents

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.