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chaz Offline
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i got a letter from my parents - November 5th 2010, 07:45 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i got a letter from my parents and idk what to think now.

a bit of background :

my mum and dad beat me and abused me physically and sexually from the age of 4/5. i got away from them in end of January this year and they got sent to jail in July now they have sent me a letter saying.

hi baby

its only a letter to say that we only did that stuff to protect u from yourself. you were always a very difficult child never listend and ur dad wanted to change u. it was the best way. you shouldnt have gone to the doctors and police you are our baby and it will never change u belong to us.
see u soon
   
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Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 5th 2010, 09:31 PM

Hi Chaz!!

I am truly sorry to hear about what happened to you. I KNOW that what you experienced was a lot more dramatic than a few words could ever possibly describe - so my heart goes out to you. I am GLAD however - that it finally came to an end AND that those who hurt you are now in jail.

I think that one of the most difficult things for a child to accept is that their parents are people. That might sound like an odd thing to say - but it's true. And because they ARE people - they can have emotional and mental problems just like anyone else. And that is exactly what your mum and dad have. They are NOT OK. They both have a LOT of problems. [As you know] But because you know that - you're going to have to accept that it's very unlikely that either one of them are EVER going to be the parents that you needed them to be. They have already proven to you that they are incapable - for whatever reason - to live up to the responsibilities that go along with being a proper mum and a dad. They saw you as something they owned - and therefore something that they could use. But a child is NEVER some 'thing' that someone owns. And a child is certainly NOT some 'thing' that someone has any right to USE. But people with emotional and/or mental problems DO things that a healthier person would never do.

Rest assured - no matter what they did to you - no matter how often they did what they did - YOU are STILL a very precious and valuable human being. Your worth as a person was NOT EFFECT AT ALL. What your parents did revealed THEIR character - NOT YOURS. You are completely and absolutely blameless for what happened. I hope you already know that.

Your future is yours. You can be whoever it is you want to be. And I trust that given what you have gone through that you are going to focus on bringing a little joy to this world. That you are going to be someone who stands up for those who are still where you used to be. You are going to be a 'good guy'. [Which is something that you already are!]

As for how to respond to that letter?

I say - rip it up! You do NOT need that letter in your life - just so you can read it over and over again and make yourself feel bad. The words in that letter are quite obviously from someone who is still 'not well'. And that's OK. Someone will try to help them. But that someone is NOT going to be YOU. You are NOT responsible for your parents emotional and mental problems.

I hope you'll accept my friendship request. If not that's OK. No pressure!!

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 6th 2010, 01:03 AM

What they did to you was wrong. Forgive them but what they are saying makes no sense. I suggest you forgive them and forget the letter also. Sure you are their child, that doesn't mean that what they did was right, it was wrong.

If you are a difficult child(make life hard for other people your age, bully people or just hurt people), then start being good and be a good person and go on with your life.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; November 6th 2010 at 01:12 AM.
   
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thebigmole Offline
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Re: i got a letter from my parents - November 7th 2010, 10:05 PM

Rip up the letter, and just try to forget it. And try to forget them as well. You have to go on with your life, as hard as it's going to be. I know people always say, they are your parents and you should forgive them. I say if you don't want to forgive them that certainly doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human. If you don't want to forgive them by all means don't, I certainly wouldn't blame you.

As for what they said in your letter, there is NO justification for what they did to you. None. And there is no circumstance in the world that what they did to you was right. Obviously your parents have serious issues and need mental help. And I hope you realize that it's not your responsibility to get them help, you did what you needed to do for you and you should never feel bad for that.

Good luck!


"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
   
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