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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Amanda
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Alberta, Canada

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How Do I?? - November 15th 2010, 02:03 AM

I may have put this in the wrong place, but i think it fits here.. please feel free to move it if i am wrong

but anyway...

How do I tell my mom about my boyfriend?

I know this sounds easy at first, but its a little more difficult that it should be, because of a few things.

  1. My mom doesn't approve of internet dating.
  2. My mom thinks that all older men only have one thing on there mind, and only one reason they want to be with a younger girl.
  3. I know she will tell the whole family, and at this moment I just want her to know, and maybe my dad, not even sure if I want that.
See, I know I am 19, I don't live at home, so really it shouldn't matter to them who I date. They should have an opinion on who I am dating. But I have no idea how to approach her, how to tell her what I want. Because she will start to assume that I am just going to move there to be with him, when well things are the other way around. She will put me down for dating someone who has no job (he just got laid off) and has a tiny (honestly tiny) drug problem.

I want to tell my mom because I normally tell my mom everything. My last relationship I never told her, and I really want to but i was under 18 and really she could have taken the computer away or anything.

Does any one have any advice on how to tell her? Because he is the one thing in my whole life I would love to be able to tell my mom. I want her to like him, because I know he is honestly the good guy.
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Re: How Do I?? - November 19th 2010, 04:22 PM

Hey Amanda,

I think it's a good thing that you want to share this with your mom. However, there's always a risk that she won't approve, and you understand that.

You've listed a lot of cons for telling you mother. You said that she already doesn't approve of internet dating, she would tell the whole family, and doesn't think highly of older men. It seems like these are her beliefs that are hard-wired and it'll be hard to convince her to approve of your boyfriend. There doesn't seem to be a pro for telling her, other than you being happy about her accepting him. However, things are never that easy. You and your mom are two different people. There's likely a generation gap. What works for you might not work for her, in terms of boyfriends and relationships. What I'm trying to say is, I don't think you should tell your mom. You mention that he has a drug problem, and he just got laid off. These are things your mom won't take lightly. It'll just cause more problems than not. I don't think it's imperative that you tell your mother about all your relationships. You're 19 years old, you're a young adult. Your mom doesn't have to approve of all the guys you date, because it's inevitable that she won't be understanding of the things that make you happy.

In this case, I think it's better to keep it to yourself.

I hope that helped,
D C
   
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