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Too many problems in my life and it's compounded by a GAD - November 17th 2010, 05:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'd like to say I'm not really suicidal, it's just that I've been having thoughts of it. Not like I've gone ahead with my intentions or even thought abt it, but the fact that the thoughts have even come up is scaring me. There's a bunch of major things going on in my life right now:

1. I live in India, my best friend is a Muslim. I made a couple of stupid, slightly racist jokes about his religion. He found out about it and is really furious. He's closer to me then my biological brother, I can't lose him as a friend, honestly. This happened today and I've actually felt like ending it since he burst out about it on the phone.

2. I recently got over a girl who was also a very close friend of mine. She thought of me like a brother and I was really in love with her, so it didn't work out. Earlier on I had lied to her abt being over her so that we could just start talking again, now I am actually over her but she's not willing to believe me. A stupid mistake I made by lying earlier on.

3. I have a generalized anxiety disorder. It's genetic. My mom has it, and my brother has a clinical depression. We go to the same councillor. She is, inconveniently to the situation, also a Muslim. This thing with my friend is worrying the hell out of me, and I don't expect to get much sleep tonight. My councillor can always help me, but the problem is my mother has explicitly told me not to speak to her about this and admit to her that I made those comments, because even by the slight chance that she would be offended, all three of us would lose an important lifeline. I think she's very open minded, and as a councillor is supposed to accept this, but I never expected my friend to take it so badly if he ever found out, so I'm confused.....................

4. I've moved to a new school for the 11th and 12th grade. With all that's going on in my life I can't socialize properly and all the 'cool' kids in school give me a horrible time. I can't stand it in that place.

There's no way out of these situations. And what's worse is that all four situations are my fault, and there is no way out. That's the reason I think thoughts of suicide are entering my mind. The GAD makes it worse. Help me out here, please, I wanna sort this out and move on with my life, somehow. I used to play basketball, my game has fallen to pieces. I was a straight A student with dreams of going to MIT for college, that's a distant thing now. I want to salvage what I can of my life. If that's not possible maybe I should just end it
   
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Re: Too many problems in my life and it's compounded by a GAD - November 17th 2010, 05:21 PM

1. All you can do is apologise for what you said and hope he forgives you.

2. Sometimes lying isn't the best option, I'd say give her time, if you two were really close then I'm sure she'll come around eventually. She just may not want to lead you on if she believes you still have feelings for her.

3. Maybe you could tell your counsellor that you made some stupid comments about your friend but not tell her what exactly the comments were? That way she could still advise you but you won't risk offending her.

4. It can be hard to make friends at a new school and it's understandable that you're finding it hard to socialise but don't give up. The 'cool' kids may be giving you a hard time now but generally they don't succeed in life, at least my experiences have shown that. Keep your head down and get your work done and just try to ignore them. Also, maybe try joining some clubs to help make new friends

Please don't give up on your dream, you could still achieve it. Take care and I hope things start getting better for you
   
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Re: Too many problems in my life and it's compounded by a GAD - November 19th 2010, 06:53 PM

Any other advice?
   
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