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Spoons Offline
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I'm becoming less social with friends and family... - November 26th 2010, 11:11 PM

I'm not sure if this is actually the right category for this...

In 6th and 7th grade I loved texting and talking to my friends and loved to go anywhere with them. In 8th grade I started to change, and while I still went places with them I started to want to less and less.
Now I'm in 9th grade and don't really want to do that many things with my friends anymore. Most of the time if they try to text me I'll ignore it and if they ask me to go somewhere I'll make an excuse to try and get out of it. I feel as if I can't tell them anything about me and that they don't know the true me. My friends can be immature at times and even though I'm sure that at least a few of them would act concerned, I'm afraid that they'd make fun of my issues or brush them off completely (I have self harm problems that nobody knows about and have low self-esteem). I find that I get irritated with them over the littlest things. I can still laugh with them but it feels like I'm not enjoying myself around them as much as I used to. In school I can talk and laugh with them but would rather just get through the day, and outside of school I don't really want to talk to them much.

I also used to love spending time with my family but now most of the time if we have a party or something going on, I'll try to avoid it.

Do you think I have a problem that can be causing me to act this way toward my friends, or am I just overreacting? I want to know how I can feel as happy as I used to around my friends.

Last edited by Spoons; November 26th 2010 at 11:12 PM. Reason: left out information
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Dark-and-Twisty Offline
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Re: I'm becoming less social with friends and family... - November 27th 2010, 12:55 AM

It sounds like a problem I've been battling since middle school. When I was younger I used to love spending time with my family and friends from school. But as I got older, I became more and more anti-social. I would rather just spend time by myself, and if someone asked me to go out, I'd make up some excuse. I find the internet to be more entertaining than my friends.

Then I went to college this year. The first week of college was a blast, then I started having internet withdrawals and I found myself back in the same loop. The fact that drama started to arise between the friends I had made at college didn't help matters, either. I find that I have little in common with the people I hang out with on a regular basis in college. The ones that I do have stuff in common with would rather just go along with the majority and do stuff I do not enjoy. I like to play games, watch movies, and be do productive things. My friends like to be immature, giggle, and sing.

I, like you, get irritated easily. Every little thing someone says tends to annoy me, and with me, it's grammar that can particularly bug me. Maybe it's time you break away from your comfort zone, your regular friends, and try to meet new people? It's quite possible that you've matured and your friends are slower at maturing than you. That's the biggest problem I think I had in high school. I didn't have any friends in high school, and that's the last thing I could wish upon anyone.

It also sounds like you may be depressed. In general, those who are depressed prefer to be on their own. As for you being concerned about telling them about your self harm past, I think that if they can't be a support system for you, then they're not true friends. If they make fun and whatnot, they're not true friends. If they are truly your friends, they will be accepting and willing to support you.

High school students, especially freshmen, can be brutal. I was only there a few years ago, so I know what it's like. Keep your head up, that's what is important. High school is a time when friendships break apart and new friendships are formed. If all else fails, don't be afraid to say "Hi" to a random person in the hallway, or go sit at a new lunch table. You might be surprised at the friendships you might form, and maybe you'll have more in common with others than your old friends. When my friendships fell apart in my freshman year, I wish I would have taken the opportunity to be friendly to others. I was just so lost and confused when my friends and I fell apart.

Sometimes change is good, and high school is one of those times to explore new friendships.

"You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are."

~ Derek, Grey's Anatomy
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