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-   -   help me help my dad! (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t61710-help-me-help-my-dad/)

Saiyan December 11th 2010 02:38 PM

help me help my dad!
Hey guys, long time no see.

I've been thinking about my Dad a lot lately. I want to help him but really don't know how to do it. Here's the deal:

Some basic info:

-My dad has a sister, thats 6 years younger than him. She's married as of 2009.

-Dad's mom had a long marrige with my grandmother who treated her like a slave of some sort. He was possesive i think and I believe he had some psyhological issues. (He never let her talk about politics or for that matter give any opinion on any topic, would usually tell her that cleaning is the only thing that should interest her, he never let her go on excoursiouns with class since my grandmother worked as a teacher, etc.)

The background of the problem, i think:

His (my dad's) mom was married to my grandfather till he died in 2001. It appears she was 'forcefully' married to him. She had pre-marrige sex and ended up being pregnant with him, thus having to be married to him eventually. I think subconsiously my grandmother thinks its my dad's fault she had to live all those years like a slave to her husband. I believe she thinks my dad trapped her with his birth. So she may be angry at him because of that.
When he was a 9month old baby his grandmother, my great grandmother told her daughter that she is taking my dad to a vacation to Croatia. My grandmother didn't like that and at one occasion said that because of what happened then, she felt as if her mom took away her son, so thats why she likes her daughter, my dad's sister, more than my dad.

The problem:

Okay so here's the deal: My grandmother was all nice to everyone back when she was married to my grandmother. She always said how she'd like to help out my mom becuase me and my brother were little kids, and she had a ton of things to worry about, but my grandmother always accused her husband of not letting her go out of the house. In any case she always kept saying how she'd buy stuff for me and my brother if she had enough money and etc.

When my grandfather died, grandma became a totally different person! At first she made profit from my grandfather's funeral, by taking as much money possible from his workplace, the insurance company and even my dad! She saw how bad my dad felt and took as much money from him as possible for '''the grave monument since she liked my grandfather so much...'' yeah right! She never even built that monument, 9 years have passed she never even once went to the graveyard, a wooden cross is still laying there. She took all that money and put it in her pocket!

Since she was living in a HUGE apartment with his husband and her daughter(because she wasnt married back then), she asked my dad to give away his part of the apartment to her, WHILE selling all the jewlery my grandfather had, giving away his tools (he had two jobs, one being a (dont know how to translate well) cabinetmaker) and throwing away his stuff. She never even asked dad to give him anything his dad (my grandfather) owned. My mom had to call her and ask for a necklace and a watch my grandfather used to own, she said my dad would appericiate it.

As you can see she became very greedy. She never showed my dad all the paperwork that stated which relative gets what from my grandfather (sorry about that, cant remember what its called, a will perhaps?). She started making plans with her daughter and pushed everything valuable to her, and then when she took everything from that appartment that was worth something, she phoned my dad and told him to come and take what he wants. He came and became depressed after he saw what happened and just walked out saying he's: ''too sad to take anyting'' but actually she sold everything he liked and everything worht any money. And gave everyting that you can actually use to her daughter!!

Later my great grandmother sold some land in Croatia because she wanted for all of us to go to a vacation there, and so she needed money. She gave everyone the equal ammount of money except for my dad. She gave him a SMALL bit more and said: You get more but YOU MUST spend it on a vacation while everyone else can do what they want with their money. So basically my dad got a vacation and not money. My aunt who, normally got her mom's part of cash too since she stuffs everything in her ass behind our backs, became jealous at my dad for getting more money than her!! Dude, my dad didn't get MONEY, but a vacation, while she got like 2x more cash than him
and was able to spend it on anything at all...and so she didn't speak to my great grandmother for over a year...

They're both too greedy.

Later when my great grandmother died in 2006., she clearly stated who will get what she owns. He gave all the land left (worth a ton of cash) to her daughter and her brother (my grandma and my uncle), she left a half of her house at the sea to my aunt, and her appartment and everything inside to my dad. AGAIN those two hogs weren't happy. They wanted more..They wanted to make my dad give the appartment to theM!
But before my great grandma died, she was in bed in that appartment, and while being sick, grandma stole all the worth jewlery and stuff she can use from there, so basically my dad got an empty appartment, when he actually should've got all the stuff inside too!

in any case, my mom asked grandma to sell the other big appartment and give us money since my other grandma was living with us, so we can buy her a small apartment, and just be the 4 of us living alone, and my dad would give his other appartment he just got to his mom and sister, so they get what they want and we get rid of the other grandma.

Anyway dad's mom screamed! she said that the big appartment may NEVER be sold and blablablabla.... But years later, my aunt got married and she sold the appartment without anyone knowing, and bought 2 small appartments so my aunt can live alone with her husband, and so that my grandma can sell the other small appartment and move in with her friend, who she married later.

My dad in all of this:

Anyhow my dad desperately wants to be loved by his mom, but cant see that she hates him and uses him all the time. She keeps calling him whenever she needs something fixed and stuff but never even bakes cookies for me and my brother. She loves her daughter and always makes plans behind my dad's back and later when she must spit it out, she prepares diner so my dad can't get mad over it, 'because his good mother made beautiful diner' and so he keeps bing a wussy.



Additional details:

-My grandma is a very stupid woman.
-My dad never talks about this and would beat me up if he knew i know about all of this.
-sorry for my bad english

What I'd like:

-F*ck up grandma real bad. Draw money from her. Avenge dad.

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