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palmtoptiger Offline
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I just don't get it... - December 14th 2010, 07:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I should apologize in advance for a fairly long rantt.

I’m the bad child. No matter what I do I’m always the “bad” one as far as my parents are concerned. At school everyone refers to me as the saint. I don’t get in trouble with at school, my teachers like me fair enough and I get good grades. Yet however much I try I’m never good enough. If I get a low A or a high B on a class I was worried about doing horribly on I get excited, but the second my parents see the grade they find a way to bring me down. No matter how well I do in school it’s always “Why couldn’t you get a 100.” Even with things at home. If I forget to wash the dishes or I don’t clean my room, I get grounded for obscene periods of time. Whenever anyone asks if I want to do something with them I tell them I’m grounded. Even when I make a prior arrangement with friends and I get grounded for something small afterward, I feel bad and end up making some excuse why I can’t go.

I’m never good enough for my parents. I’ve given up trying to tell them anything is wrong because they never seem to listen to me. They’d rather pretend I’m at fault for being a “bad child” rather than take some responsibility on their part as parents. It’s tiring for me. I can’t tell them I’m depressed. Even when I told them why it makes me physically sick to be in the same room as my father, they dismissed it. I’ve been soo good lately too and I relapsed. I got in an argument with my mother last night and started cutting again.

It’s stupid. My mom is the only parent I really get along with and I don’t like not talking her.

I don't know what to do now.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
~Emily Dickinson
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Daydreamer Offline
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Re: I just don't get it... - December 14th 2010, 11:58 PM

I know how you feel. I always felt like I was the bad child in high school. It was always, "why not an A+, you didn't do the dishes right, why can't you read my mind and do exactly what I want..." Well maybe not the last one but it sure felt like it sometimes. It's taken me a while to realize this, but I now know that my dad really just wanted me to be the best he knew I could be, and that was the only way he knew how to help me, even if it didn't always feel like help.

I know it can be hard sometimes living with parents who have high expectations of you, sometimes even too high, but try to remind yourself that they only do it this way because they really do love you and want what is best for you, that sometimes helps me.

If you ever need to talk I'm just a PM away,

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” 9.12.09 <3

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Re: I just don't get it... - December 28th 2010, 10:28 PM

i know what youre going through, im going through the same thing right now.
just try to stay strong, and out of your parents way...thats what i do and i haven't been grounded in over a week
PM me anytime(:

"It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur-I don't care" --Darren Criss

I can brown, I can be [COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]blue[/color], I can be violet sky! I can be hurtful, I can be purple, I can be anything you like! Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more...why don't you like me, why don't you like me, why don't you walk out the door?
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parents unfair desicions, triggering

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