TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Rant. - December 30th 2010, 09:40 AM

I swear, I must be PMSing or something. This type of thing never gets to me this bad.
Today, there was alot of major fighting at my house. Not that new. But for some reason, it just got under my skin extra.
My brother went to the doctor for a cough he's had for the past 4 weeks or whatever, after throwing a huge fit. He's almost 18, but acts like he's 5. And so when my parents went to go get his medicine after his appointment, he proceded to call me a worthless piece of shit and kick me, which, once again, nothing new. But for some reason I got beyond pissed. So I left. Problem is, there was alot of snow. And I was wearing canvas shoes with no socks. And I had to pee. So in less than an hour, I was back. (I figured my parents would be pissed as hell if I actually left the apartment complex.)
I was still pissed at my brother, so I went and washed dishes, until I get a call from my dad.
Dad: "Are you home?"
Me: "Why do you care?"
Dad: "Can you take the puppies out?"
Me: "Screw you." *hang up*
He called me back.
Me: "What."
Dad: "I think there's a bad cell connection"
Me: *Hang up*
Then I finished the dishes, and took the dogs out, and then went into my room. So, like twenty minutes later, I hear them pull into the parking space (its right outside my window), and hear them come in, and within two minutes, he came and knocked on my door and told me to get out there because we had to talk.
So I did. And he went on this huge lecture to my mom, my brother, and me about how things need to change around here. Which I have been saying for years. But God forbid he actually listen to me. He said all of us had to work together. My response was "Fat chance. I'm done trying. I give up." And he was like "I noticed. I think you gave up a while ago." And I was all "Can you blame me?" And he was like "No." And then he continued on.
Later in the conversation, after like fifteen minutes of him lecturing my brother about college (he hasn't sent in ANY freaking applications yet, and he's not exactly a great student or involved alot or anything, so his chances of getting in if he sent in his apps on time were already not the greatest), he proceeded to tell me I need to learn to say no, and that everyone else needs to take some of the responsibility off me, because I've taken on the role of a parent over the past few years, and pick up all the slack and all that bs. And my argument was that I want to make people proud, and not let them down. And nothing I ever do is ever enough, no matter how much I put into it. He proceeded to tell me with the effort I put into things and all the stress/worry I take on, by age 18 (I'm 16), I will likely be dead due to either a heart attack or suicide.
[Edited by PSY: Removed triggering content.]
What he doesn't realize is I am a cutter. And I am suicidal. It was so fucking hard to keep an indifferent reaction to all that.
I tried to leave halfway through his lecture, I don't remember what exactly he was talking about at the time. He blocked and locked the front door, though. And when I asked why he wouldn't let me leave, he said it was because he loves me. I told him I hate him. I'm the fucking worst daughter ever.

So, nobody will probably read all of this. Because it's long. And it's unimportant. But it helped, I think, writing it out.


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair

Last edited by PSY; January 3rd 2011 at 11:18 PM. Reason: Removed triggering content.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
SparklingWine's Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 27
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 7,230
Blog Entries: 197
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: Rant. - December 30th 2010, 09:47 AM

Hey there. I am sorry about your family. You must remember that you shouldn't remember to spread yourself so thin. Your family seems like they have things to work through. Just know that you can't do it all by yourself. I know you want to make people proud, but not at the expense of your own happiness. Sounds like you need some you time. Time that you can spend making yourself happy. Best thing to do in times of high tension, is remove yourself from the situation and take some deep breaths. That can really help.

Take care.
-Lyndsee


  Send a message via AIM to SparklingWine Send a message via MSN to SparklingWine  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Rant. - December 30th 2010, 10:01 AM

Thanks, Lyndsee. I don't really know how to do it any different, yet. I'm going to try, though. My grades have been suffering because of it the past few years. So I'm changing it in 2011. It'll take time, but it might make getting the grades to get into college easier. I hope. I just feel bad. Because my mom and dad both have been on-and-off depressed for the past almost 3 years. And I've tried so hard to keep everything together. Which is probably part of my problem.


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
WishUponAStar Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
WishUponAStar's Avatar
 
Name: Kimberly
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 7
Join Date: December 29th 2010

Re: Rant. - December 30th 2010, 11:17 AM

hey sam, im really sorry about all of the fighting in your house... You know you can always call and rant to me. like alwaaaaaaaaaaays. i mean it. im always here for you. writing it out or talking it out helps sometimes let me know if you need anythingg


"I failed eating, failed drinking, failed not cutting myself into shreds. Failed friendship. Failed sisterhood and daughterhood. Failed mirrors and scales and phone calls. Good thing I'm stable. "
Laurie Halse Anderson (Wintergirls)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Rant. - December 31st 2010, 05:33 AM

Thanks hon. no worries, its nbd. and thanks. you have no idea how much that means. and the same aaaaalways goes for you.


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: Rant. - December 31st 2010, 07:06 AM

I don't think your father was attempting to hurt you by mentioning the suicide as from the sounds of it, he's trying to make things better in the family. He complimented you in recognition of your hard work and by saying people need to take some responsibility off you, it implies you kept things going that others couldn't in addition to succeeding in what you had to do. Parents are meant to help guide their children in addition to other duties, so it seems he was saying you were the parent as well as the child.

Hopefully you can improve your marks because from what you described, you're mentally stronger than the average 16 year old teen girl who doesn't have to help run the house due to depressed parents while receiving violence and no recognition from their brother.

If shit starts hitting the fan even more, are there any friends who you could stay at overnight for a bit? If not, is there a local library you could go to for some time to relax as well as do homework in silence?


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Rant. - December 31st 2010, 07:53 AM

I know he wasn't trying to. He doesn't know. It was just a crappy day because I was overreacting to everything.
I've considered going to my friend's house, but they're having a lot of issues, too, so I don't want to impose. And I've been spending as much time out of the house as possible.


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
rant

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.