TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Eternal Offline
Lead Moderator

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Eternal's Avatar
 
Name: Nicole
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: PDX

Posts: 12,424
Join Date: October 14th 2010

Friend Trouble - January 2nd 2011, 03:41 AM

So I have a best friend Sab (one of a few) and I've known her for about 3-4 years now. She has another best friend Ana whom she has known for much longer.
Well her other friend started liking my ex right after we broke up. I tried to be supportive even though it hurt a lot. Sab was trying to get them together which hurt even more because she has been through break ups too and I think she should have known it was too soon (it was only about a month later).
Well anyway Ana doesn't like him anymore so thats good. But I feel I was really trying to make sure we were still friends even though she was hurting me.
I was talking to my friend Danielle about Ana and I said things like how I don't exactly like her completely because she liked my ex. I also told her I felt like she is trying to get all of our guy friend's attention on her (others agree with me).
Well Danielle accidently told Sab who then without even talking to me about it told Ana that I called her a whore.
I confronted Sab about it and told her to talk to me first when she hears a rumor and that she had no right to exaggerate what I said to Ana. She apologized, but then she said that she doesn't trust me with Ana because Ana 'means the world to her.'

What do you think about that? That was a pretty big punch to my face to me. I mean shes my best friend yet shes telling me that she doesn't trust me with one of her friends? Does anyone else find this rude? She said this a month ago so I'm not sure if I should bring it up again but I really want to talk to her about it because that really upset me.


And here you are living, despite it all.
Lead Moderator | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
minniemouseprincess's Avatar
 
Name: Julia
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Disney World=)

Posts: 1,015
Join Date: December 17th 2010

Re: Friend Trouble - January 2nd 2011, 07:10 AM

I think your friend kinda did overexaggerate and it was wrong of her to say you said that you thought Anna was a whore. I think you should indeed talk to her again about the issue. Tell her how you feel about it and explain to her that you did not appreciate that Anna liked your ex so soon after you guys broke up. She should understand. I wish you all the best!


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Adrian Offline
Lali's my Favorite, Forever
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Adrian's Avatar
 
Name: Adrian
Age: 26
Gender: Male

Posts: 29
Join Date: November 21st 2010

Re: Friend Trouble - January 9th 2011, 05:55 AM

I didnt know you were that upset about it. Think you should talk to Sab and maybe ask Ana along too if your up for it. clear the air maybe. things were said but whats the point of being on edge? your all friends with the same people its just going to be a pain in the ass if you dont atleast push to move forward. its high school, bring it up, take care of it and get over it and go to a party. yea, it could be that simple if you have enough nerve.
  Send a message via AIM to Adrian  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: Friend Trouble - January 9th 2011, 08:51 AM

I don't think you're innocent at all in this, neither are some of the friends you mentioned. If someone likes your ex and begins going with him one month after you two broke up, I think that's perfectly fine. Many disagree with this, I've never understood why because after 1 month, you should've had plenty of time to recover from whatever emotional damages you endured. She shouldn't have known it was too soon because there's no reason why they cant be together if you already broke up with the ex. So this hype about the friend going out with your ex being wrong is silly and I can only see the blame falling on you as you were the one who was angry about that and you didn't like a friend because they were with someone you broke up with. That last part is childish, clearly you haven't gotten over your ex, that's your issues, nobody else's.

People have the right to exaggerate whatever they want, those kind of phrases where people say "they didn't have the right to exaggerate what I said", that's child schoolyard silliness. Put that silliness and arrogance aside. It's rude to say she doesn't have a right to say something yet you do and it's rude to think you have some unwritten rule where it's not acceptable for her to date your ex. There was a punch to your face but you punched first.

Chances are you may not like this reply but you have to look at the situation (as far as what you wrote down) for what it is. Look at who did what without setting blame right away and look at it from a third-person view.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Eternal Offline
Lead Moderator

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Eternal's Avatar
 
Name: Nicole
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: PDX

Posts: 12,424
Join Date: October 14th 2010

January 9th 2011, 07:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
I don't think you're innocent at all in this, neither are some of the friends you mentioned. If someone likes your ex and begins going with him one month after you two broke up, I think that's perfectly fine. Many disagree with this, I've never understood why because after 1 month, you should've had plenty of time to recover from whatever emotional damages you endured. She shouldn't have known it was too soon because there's no reason why they cant be together if you already broke up with the ex. So this hype about the friend going out with your ex being wrong is silly and I can only see the blame falling on you as you were the one who was angry about that and you didn't like a friend because they were with someone you broke up with. That last part is childish, clearly you haven't gotten over your ex, that's your issues, nobody else's.

People have the right to exaggerate whatever they want, those kind of phrases where people say "they didn't have the right to exaggerate what I said", that's child schoolyard silliness. Put that silliness and arrogance aside. It's rude to say she doesn't have a right to say something yet you do and it's rude to think you have some unwritten rule where it's not acceptable for her to date your ex. There was a punch to your face but you punched first.

Chances are you may not like this reply but you have to look at the situation (as far as what you wrote down) for what it is. Look at who did what without setting blame right away and look at it from a third-person view.
If you've ever been in a bad break up after a long and amazing relationship, then you would know that it takes longer then just 1 month to get over somebody. Besides there was some drama so Ana knew I wasn't over him. She even told me to get over him. Its something that takes time, you can't just snap into unloving someone. She's never had a boyfriend, so she doesn't know what its like.

I realize I'm not completely innocent. My OP was about my best friend saying she doesn't trust me with her best friend. Not about anything else because I've got all that figured out.

Sorry if that sounded ungrateful, I really am glad you posted a reply to this.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian View Post
I didnt know you were that upset about it. Think you should talk to Sab and maybe ask Ana along too if your up for it. clear the air maybe. things were said but whats the point of being on edge? your all friends with the same people its just going to be a pain in the ass if you dont atleast push to move forward. its high school, bring it up, take care of it and get over it and go to a party. yea, it could be that simple if you have enough nerve.
I see your creeping on my posts now
Aha yeah well it was just weird to have Sab say that too me. However Chase talked to Ana about what Sab told her that I said and she said 'I guess I can forgive Nicole.' It might just be me, but I think that was kinda dramatic. It wasn't even that big of a deal. So I guess we're on good terms now.


And here you are living, despite it all.
Lead Moderator | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor

Last edited by PSY; January 9th 2011 at 10:42 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friend, trouble

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.