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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Problems with my mum - January 4th 2011, 08:54 PM

My mum a year or so back started getting these dreams, like nightmares, so she went to see a physiatrist, and it seems she had emotional problems from her past (i dont know much about it, just her family werent nice people) had started acting up. A while after this my parents told me they were splitting up, but i kinda expected this, and they both still live together for me apparently.

anyway my mum is really emotional, and im a 16 year old so we clash obviously. she doesnt seem to understand i have my own problems, school work, friends not being friends, loneliness, feeling of worthlessness etc, and if i mention any of this shes goes 'you dont know how good youve got it....' kind of thing, i understand she is having a hard time, but no one else is. we also believe she is at the menopause, so her emotions are even worse (she always had emotional problems, but they got worse the other year) and she either gets angry easy or upset, either make my dad sulky as he knows whats going on, so every time its like a guilt trip, but im 16, hormones kick in and everything so i cant really help getting angry, especially when my periods due.

i just cant cope anymore, one minute my mums crying next shes angry, ive lost someone i thought was a good friend recently, A-levels are driving me crazy, im worried about boys as ive never had a boyfriend or anything (dont say i dont im not missing anything, thats an opinion thing and i havent had any experiences to find my opinion) i cant open up to any of my friends, i accidently pooped myself in year 9 in school (i was very ill but wanted full attendence) and everyone knew and i cant go a day without a reminder, and i am trying to lose weight and now my mum, i cant deal with it all....and i feel like i will amount to nothing, so i have no motivation really to do anything. i cant move out as i only have 135 and no job....

any advice will be appreciated, and sorry this was long
   
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Re: Problems with my mum - January 5th 2011, 10:05 AM

Just meditate for an hour just breathe in and out everyday and rearrange your thoughts i suggests you to do it before you go to bed so that when you wake up you'll actually feel better???
I know what you're going through, i'm heading that direction with my mom too and its getting worsts!
PM me if you need anything else!


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'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
   
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Re: Problems with my mum - January 5th 2011, 11:02 AM

Hey there,

First of all don't be sorry about the length! It wasn't actually that long and sometimes it's good to post a longer thread because it means you're able to say more of what you need which not only helps you but also helps someone replying because they know more about your situation

It sounds like things are really tough for you right now because you have so much going on in your life. When things get tough it's often good to be able to find something stable; something that you know is going to be there that you can rely on to help you to keep going. Do you have anything like that? It could be a hobby, or something you like doing, or even a routine in your life. Just something to help keep you focused. I dance and found that really helped when things got tough, especially around the time of my A levels because it was somewhere I knew I had coming up that I could escape to. If you don't have something try and make one.

Things sound difficult with your mum and I can relate to that. Me and my mum used to argue quite a bit because she would flip at the smallest thing. She'd begin angry and would shout at me and then it'd suddenly change to her being upset. It can be hard knowing how to react especially when your emotions are similar. Have you ever spoken to your mum about how you feel? I know that probably sounds easier than it would be to actually do it but it could be something to think about. If you found it difficult to talk face to face to her how about writing her a letter? When you write something down you're able to say exactly what you want without interuption and it allows you to change parts that you may not be happy with before you actually say it. It'll also mean your mum can read it in her own time and space and have time to react before she responds.

Things do get hard when you're doing A levels and it's pretty understandable too. I'm pretty sure most people in your position will find it overwhelming at some stage. If things do get too much though it could be worth talking to a teacher. They're there to help and could perhaps help you manage your time and work so that it's one less thing for you to deal with.

I think when you do have so much going on it helps to look at each thing seperately and break it down into manageale steps rather than everything all at once.

Take care and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.
   
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