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Running away - January 4th 2011, 09:35 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Last night I cut 6 times after going clean for about 2 months.
My best friend's dad tried to commit suicide last night and is now in a mental hospital. He's losing custody of her.
I'm ready to just leave it all. Run away. We're both suicidal and I was about to purposely overdose last night. She was thinking about dying too.
It would be perfect... Just us, all alone, no one to stop us. And if we get into trouble, who cares? If we die then we haven't lost anything. She's agreed, her boyfriend's agreed, and I haven't talked to mine yet. But I'm going either way. He's my world, but I need to get away from this.
The only problem? She wants to leave soon, but it's freezing here! We'll freeze to death. I want to wait until it's summer. That way we'll have time to think about it, make sure it's really what we want to do. Plus, we won't get in as much trouble for skipping school if we get caught. We have enough for plane tickets and we'll go to a southern city. That way we'll be far away. I was thinking about Texas. I have some friends that would let us stay there.
How can I convince her to come in the summer?
And don't give me crap about not going and that it won't solve my problems. I know it won't solve all of them, but I want to do this. Just not right now.
I'm not goingg without her, and something bad's gonna happen to her if she leaves now. But I can't do it. It's too risky.
   
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Re: Running away - January 6th 2011, 06:29 PM

Can I be honest with you? Just for a moment...

This is a really, really bad idea. I know life gets hard and overwhelming. I know it feels like there is nothing to do but die or run away with the only person who seems to understand, but you need to think about everything you're going to be giving up and every risk you're going to be taking. I know you said that you don't want the crap about how it's not going to solve problems, but I'm going to give it to you anyway, in full force. Primarily because, even if I don't know you that well, I do care about you and this situation will only make things worse.

Furthermore, if you go missing, your families and friends are likely to report it. You need IDs to buy plane tickets, and someone will attempt to follow your trail. Think long and hard about this. My bet is you will be found and returned home.

I'm sorry you've relapsed in self-harm. I truly am, and that's scary and difficult. Have you considered reading our list of alternatives? Sometimes those can help, even when you're not feeling an urge, with coping with overwhelming situations.

If you are intent on following through on your plan, then I can't stop you. I warn you that it could ruin your relationship with your family. That you and your friend may not survive. And if you do die, you have a lot to live for and a lot of people care for you. Your boyfriend included. How would you feel if he ran away, died, and you were alone? I'm just saying that this affects more than just you and your friend.

If you don't want to leave yet, don't. Tell her that. Explain your reasoning. You shouldn't have to do something you're uncomfortable with. If she still wants to go, maybe you have to let her. But I would encourage her to wait for you. Time to think could be important for both of you.

Best of luck and take care of yourself. Be safe!



i am not my scars and my history
i am, i am, i am who i am...i am who i am.
there are true things inside of me;
i have been afraid to see.

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