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Katsueren Offline
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Name: Ange
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Unhappy I am so frazzled emotionally.. - January 6th 2011, 04:31 AM

So I live with my grandparents, because I completely disagree with my parent's parenting. And I also think my stepmom is very stupid, I can't stand to listen to her. She got permission from my dad to hit me if I argue with her, but she always does and says things that piss me off, it's like she's doing this so she gets me angry enough that she can hit me. Anyway, my grandparents are religious, and they want me to be too. My grandma is constantly telling me this. It's freaking irritating because I don't want to be religious. I believe in the religion, but I don't want to go any further than that right now because I don't know where I'm at emotionally, but she's always yiping at me about being closer to god. I also don't like little kids very much, and she's always lecturing me about being nice to kids, and smiling at them or whatever. I'm not mean to them, I just don't pay attention to them because I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings by showing my irritation at them, but she thinks it's being mean even if they aren't paying any attention to me. But I do feel like an asshole for getting irritated with the kiddies so easily, I can't help it though. I'm frazzled because I'm in 9th grade and I'm trying to study hard for finals and get my work done while making it good, and I'm just so tired.. And when I'm tired from staying up late to do school work, and have grandma lecturing me about my attitude it just makes things worse. Help?
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Re: I am so frazzled emotionally.. - January 6th 2011, 04:10 PM

Hello, Ange! Welcome to TeenHelp. =)

Well, there are a few ways you could deal with the situation. One would be to simply smile-and-nod whenever your grandma starts lecturing you about religion and kids. My mom would act like a broken record, always giving me the same lecture about my "attitude" as well. Arguing and trying to reason with her never worked, so after a while, I started taking the path of least resistance. I made it seem like I cared, while secretly trying to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible. That may or may not work in your case. If it does work, your grandma will be satisfied that you're listening and trying to improve, while you'll be able to have some peace in the evenings. If it doesn't work (some people are sharp and will catch on that you're just trying to get them off your back), you'll have to find another way to deal with the situation.

It may seem obvious, but have you tried talking to your grandma? Sometimes, it can be difficult to have a productive conversation with an adult, especially with an adult who is separated by two generations. It may be even harder for the two of you to relate to one another, because your grandma simply grew up in a different society with different morals and beliefs. To her, going to church every week may be as important as going to work Monday through Friday, and being nice to other children may be as important as being nice to one's own children (or grandchildren). If you can demonstrate that you understand where she's coming from, and that you do care and want to improve in certain regards (ex. learning to have a little more patience around kids - believe me, it IS possible to build up a tolerance of them for longer periods of time!), she may back off on the lecturing.

I wish you all the best, and I'm glad you've managed to get out of a hostile situation with your stepmom. It's rare that I see members on TeenHelp who can actually get away from their abusive parents, so congratulations on taking that important step toward improving your life as a whole! =D

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