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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry Beyond fed up - January 6th 2011, 07:07 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Before I begin, note that I love my family but I am fed up with them.

I've been home from college for almost 3 weeks and I go back on Sunday, but since I've been home the amount of abuse I have taken is ridiculous.

Most of it starts with my older bro. Every time I open my mouth he calls me every name in the book and makes fun of me for no reason - it's completely uncalled for. He pushes and pushes and agitates everyone until he gets his way. Whether its going somewhere or the food we eat. For example:

Today my mom was going to make pastina for lunch and I was very excited because it's something I don't get to eat while I'm away at school and I enjoy it. He threw a giant tantrum until she made egg salad. I had had 3 eggs for breakfast and its not healthy to eat so many eggs in one day and my mom called up to my room if I want pastina instead and I said yes. Apparently she didn't hear me so she didn't make it (I discovered this when I went down for lunch) so I started to make it myself. As I did she started screaming at me that she had offered to make it. And I told her I had said yes but then she just got mad and said she would drop me off at my ride back to schools house hours early and I could just wait and I said fine and then she said or I will Friday and you can wait days and I said even better because I'm tired of all of the BS that goes on here and she said now I don't care if you're packed or not.

-- SO basically I got threatened to be kicked out of the house.

I am just sick and tired of being treated like a piece of dirt in my own house. They never hug me, when I hug them I get told to get off, I can't go to them about anything, and I hate being excited to leave home when here is where I should want to be. I just want to be respected and loved. My mom never fails to make sure I know that "I will never be her equal or as good as her."

This makes me want to never come back - I don't feel loved or safe here. Material items, food, and shelter don't make up for the emotional pain. However, I am dependent on them for college tuition so I'm kind of stuck.

No offense, but please don't tell me to try and talk to them about it - I have and it doesn't work.

Thank you for reading my long rant!


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Re: Beyond fed up - January 9th 2011, 09:56 PM

I am truly sorry to hear about what's going on with your family. =( When my stepmother went off her medication (she has bipolar disorder), I HATED the idea of coming home. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid coming home... and even though she's gone now and I love my dad, I still find it's hard to come home sometimes.

I know you don't want to read "talk to your family about it"... but the alternative is to not say anything at all (and to let the problem continue). I don't know about all the instances of abuse you've suffered from over the years, but the example you gave actually sounds like something that could be talked about. Yes, your mother overreacted, but I can also see how the misunderstanding occurred. Why not write her a letter apologizing for the misunderstanding, but then asking if it would be possible to discuss your relationship with her and how you're feeling? Basically, you can apologize for the circumstances that led up to that incident, without excusing her abusive behavior. If not, all you really can do is put some space between yourself and your family, by not coming home as often and slowly finding ways to become more independent. If your relationship with your parents begins to crumbles, you can expect to be forced to take care of yourself financially in the future, so definitely start preparing for that if you believe there's a strong possibility it might happen.

You're welcomed to PM me anytime if you'd like to talk. <3 I wish you all the best in everything that you do!





   
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