I Got Into A Fight With My Mom :'( -
January 8th 2011, 07:14 AM
Okay, this is all new to me.
1: My parents are putting our house up for sale.
2: My counselor wants to meet my mother.
3: I'm having friendship problems.
4: I don't like change, and everything is happening so fast.
Basically, my Anxiety problems have gotten so bad, I snapped. When my mother told me that we were putting our house up for sale, I seriously cracked. I started to SCREAM at her, and she was screaming at me. When I told her that I like where we live, and I don't want to move for the THIRD TIME IN 5 YEARS she started saying horrible things! She was calling me selfish, and saying that I lived and breathed on drama and self-pity. She started to turn my words around too.
I can't STAND it anymore!
My counselor told me that it's time I start voicing my opinions and stop going along with what everyone says. So I tried. How ironic that this all happened within 24 hours. So when I told my mom that I didn't want to move she started to give me a lecture, and BAM yelling and screaming and accusations.
Then my little sister - the one who has "yelling at my parents" as a hobby, starts to go onto my mother's side. And when my dad got home he did too! Everyone was ganging up on me, and when I begged my mom (literally) to stop yelling at me it got worse.
When she called me selfish I started to hyperventilate even worse then before, I got SO mad. I started to call her a liar and started to say REALLY bad things to her. Since when do I do ANYTHING that is really in good point for me? Since when do I really do anything selfish or conceded? Since when am I the one who complains about everything and asks for anything? I'm NOT. I'm not selfish at all! I enjoy doing things for OTHER people. The most I ever did for myself is go to the counselor, and it's still really rocky right now.
I don't know what happened. If she wasn't on the other side of the room I probably would have slapped her. Even when I tried to leave the room to calm down she'd yell at me and tell me to sit down. This is the worst fight I've ever had with my mom, and I was sobbing the entire time. I usually cry during fights or conflict, but this time I was basically in my chair screaming.
I don't know what happened - I just snapped. Now my family won't leave me alone. It's seriously KILLING me right now. My mom said WAY worse things to me then I said to her, but I am the one who feels bad about it. She just went on with her life and acted as if nothing happened.
I sent a text message to my counselor, explaining the whole thing, she said she was PROUD of me. How ironic, considering I feel like I commited a crime. She doesn't like the way things turned out, but she's happy that I finally spoke up. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut.
I just don't know what to do. Especially since everyone in my family thinks I'm a selfish, spoiled, self-pitied, brat.
I don't know what to do about it. I feel nautious and EXTREMELY sad. My counselor doesn't know what to do with me, my parents don't know what to do with me, my (so-called) friends don't know what to do with me, and I don't even know what to do with me.
That's one of the topics I brought up in the argument with my mom, I don't remember clearly, but I'm pretty sure I said something like: "You know what mom? Don't worry about college or University for me! I'm not good at anything, I'm stupid, my grades are in the toilet! Tell me ONE University that would except me!"
She says that she's stuck with me until I'm 18, but I don't know anymore. I can't handle it. I'm emotionally unstable, and I keep on having panic attacks, I can't even open up to my counselor right. Everything is falling apart. My mom won't even tell me where we're moving! Or will she and my dad let me come and see the house with them! I really don't know what to do anymore. I try to speak up and my thoughts are pushed under the rug like dirt, even my friends aren't faithful to me anymore. Everyone thinks I'm SO happy. But I'm not. No, not even close.
I will forgive, but I'll never forget.
Love is something earned, not gifted.
The Fallen Angel's cry for their beloved.
Re: I Got Into A Fight With My Mom :'( -
January 9th 2011, 02:10 PM
Hey, Katie. It sounds to me like you're a bit worked up--which is completely understandable. It's a really stressful situation you're in right now and I bet it feels like you're being pulled in a million different directions...what with trying to just do what your counselor said and having your parents and sibling freak out on you. Plus, the added worries about moving and making new friends and everything...it's just unfair. The best thing you can do right now is just put this behind you and do your best not to take to heart what your parents and sister said out of anger. I'm sure you didn't mean a lot of the really hurtful things you said either. My suggestion would be to sit down with them and your counselor (it can actually be a REALLY big help, because you have someone to act as the buffer between you and your family so they can't gang up on you). You guys can have a good long discussion about what's happening right now and try to find a solution that works for everyone. <3 I'm always around here, so drop me a line whenever. Good luck!