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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Poetic Loser
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Unhappy Serious Parent Fight - January 8th 2011, 01:43 PM

So, things had been going fine last night. I brought one of my friends round to sleep and blah blah blah, when all of a sudden i heard my dad screaming down the phone wanting to know why she wasn't home. So mom comes home drunk, and they have this huge fight. Mom's upset because she just wanted a drink with her mate because she never does and she's always chained to the house or looking after my DADS mom. And dads having a go because he says that she shouldn't be going out so late and coming back drunk.

Tbh, i don't care if mom goes out with her friends. I encourage it. Me and my sister are old enough to look after ourselves in the house. Dad's fucking horrible about it. He doesn't let mom have any freedom. She's always having to pick up after my dad and it's fucking horrible. She has MS for fucks sake!

So she left last night because dad said that she can't come in the bedroom and mom said she be fucked if she's sleeping on the sofa AGAIN! So she left. I didn't even know she had till this morning. It was so emabarrasing because i had my my mate round and dad was so rude to her.
She came back about half an hour ago and she's really upset. Dad couldn't give two shit, and he's playing with his stupid fucking land rover and moms upset. I just need to get away so they can talk it out, w.e so i'm sleeping at my mates house tonight.
I personally don't need anymore fucking stress. I have a GCSE i need to prepare for for thursday, and i need to get all my coursework done. So i'm gone for tonight.

I feel really guilty for leaving my mom but they need to clean there own fucking mess up.
Do you think i'm doing the right thing leaving them?
Because normally i'm there to look after my mom and console her. I feel really bad that i'm not going to do it this time...


How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink!
There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out.
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that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 9th 2011, 02:05 PM

In my opinion? I think you did EXACTLY the right thing here. Their problems are their problems, and nothing more. I'm so glad you aren't taking responsibility for that. It must have sucked big time to have your friend around while they were acting like idiots, but it's awesome to see that you took it in stride and weren't too shook up. You're right--school takes precedence over everything else, always. Let them work out whatever they need to work out. And if you need (or feel) that you have to stay away longer...then do. <3 I'm always here, so PM me if things get shitty.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 9th 2011, 10:31 PM

You need to take care of yourself, first and foremost. I think you did the right thing by leaving for the night, since it will allow you to de-stress and focus on your studies.

Is there a reason why your mother has opted to continue living with your father? I realize that divorce is a big deal, especially if your mother doesn't work and has MS... but this sounds like an abusive situation. Perhaps you and the rest of your family (ex. your mom and sister) could work on collecting evidence of your father's emotional abuse (ex. audio recordings when he's screaming at her) and bring that to the police? You could also start looking into hiring an attorney who specializes in assisting women who struggle with severe illnesses and live with abusive spouses.





   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 10th 2011, 12:08 AM

I also think you did the best thing, not only to get yourself out of there, but it's their mess and they need to sort it out, it's better when children arent around to hear arguments.

Try not to get worried about it to much though try and stay focussed on your studies.

If you need anyone to talk to or vent to my inbox is always open.





   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 12th 2011, 10:38 PM

Walking out's the best thing. I do it when I've had enough of things. You can take shit up to a point, but beyond that you just have to step back from it totally or get dragged into it fully, which rarely does any good.

I don't know your dad well enough to say much, but from what you've written it really sounds like he's an ass. I've not heard often of people like him changing for the better, probably because they think they're the peak of the world and totally disregard everyone else's opinions. Controlling, manipulative... etc. Sry if I say too much, but I've had my own experiances with my step-dad. We never managed to settle our differences by reasoning. I simply grew older, bigger and have a louder voice. That's what it boils down to, and it sucks.

I kinda see why your mum acted the way she did, she's probably stressed out with your dad's controlling attitude, but you acted twice their age by walking out on it all. You're obviously focuse on your schoolwork, and it's a good thing so keep at it.

How does your dad relate with you? Is it similar to how he ralates with your mum? PM me if you need any help (including GCSEs lol).


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 13th 2011, 08:35 PM

Don't worry, it was great hearing u say shit about my dad lool x
And yeah, he's like that with all of us. :S Always has been.
I had another mate round tonight and when he got back from work he got all pissy with me because i hadn't run his fucking bath! He was saying stuff like ' I bloody asked her! You just wait until she asks for something again' and it was really embarrassing because she was awake this time lol

He's such a bastard. Proper old fashoned 'Girls must bow down to men' kinda way. I fucking hate it x


How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink!
There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out.
I've learned...
that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.

  Send a message via MSN to LastRedAppleStanding  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 13th 2011, 09:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastRedAppleStanding View Post
Don't worry, it was great hearing u say shit about my dad lool x
And yeah, he's like that with all of us. :S Always has been.
I had another mate round tonight and when he got back from work he got all pissy with me because i hadn't run his fucking bath! He was saying stuff like ' I bloody asked her! You just wait until she asks for something again' and it was really embarrassing because she was awake this time lol

He's such a bastard. Proper old fashoned 'Girls must bow down to men' kinda way. I fucking hate it x

I'm almost jealous that you have the confidence to invite your friends around your house with him behaving that way. I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing it, only with very few really good friends.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Serious Parent Fight - January 13th 2011, 11:14 PM

Yes you did the right thing. They are adults and they can talk it out as adults. Space is good for them right now. Its not your thing to fix.

Good luck with your exams.



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