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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
guido508 Offline
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need to fix this - January 11th 2011, 12:27 AM

Just so all readers know, this is going to be a long post and it's kind of like two parts but I'll divide those.

I have a friend whom I had gotten very close to, a brotherly bond if you will. We are both dudes and have been friends since 6th grade but got close last year, 9th grade. But at the beginning of sophomore year, we stopped being friends. He basically ended it. Now we've had problems in the friendship, but when those weren't happening we were very tight. My father had left me at a young age and has been a deadbeat all my life. Therefore I don't have much trust for other guys and am very insecure about the friendships, but losing this one has taught me to straighten it out. We shared a lot, same taste in girls, foods, sports, etc. He was a good friend, real. Something I wasnt used to seeing since I've dealt with shit talkers all my life. But backto our issues. We did tend to share EVERY detail and talk quite a lot. We were both at fault there. Also, due to my insecurity, I've endedthe friendship 3-4 times in the past but wouldn't feel right and would ask for forgiveness. This ending was the 4th one, start of 10th grade. I claimed he was stressing me out too much, but what i hadn't realized was it was school and other things. He had forgiven me but one day he was acting weird. I asked what was up in study hall and he said nothing. So we just talked and I tried to figure out what was wrong. He still wouldnt tell me. I texted him later and he said we werent friends anymore. It has stayed like that for months. We had occasional fights in this period of time: "I hate you! Fight me!" etc etc. No matter how much I would spill for forgiveness, he'd be cold and distant and say no. He was my first real friend and the first guy I'd say was like a brother. I regret ever screwing up the friendship and I told him all of this but still, nothing. Should I keep trying because he was a great friend or should I move on? Please give tips on whichever ypu chose.

Part 2:
I want to learn how to be less shy. There are these two kids in school that I want to befriend. I talk to one of them, we'll call her c. We'll call the guy H. Both C and H are very chill. I sit next to C in history and we have common interests hobby wise. So I guess we are friends. H is on my bus and I did at one point ask if he'd want to be friends cuz I was dating a good friend of his. He said yea. I was out of school for amonth due to surgery and I came back and we don't talk anymore. I'm too shy to start a conversation with H but H wont start one with me on his own. Any tips?

Thanks for reading and for your help. If ypu need me to elaborate on anything please let me know. Thank you
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Pelios Offline
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Re: need to fix this - January 11th 2011, 04:21 AM

Hi first of all welcome to TeenHelp.
On regards to your first problem I wouldn’t let this fight ruin your friendship. You said before that you have had fight before and made up what’s different about this fight? I would keep trying to fix the friendship and find out what’s wrong with him, but if after a while he just doesn’t want to keep being your friend you can’t force him to continue being your friend.
On your second problem just go up to people be friendly and say hi. Try to strike up a conversation with them. Try not to limit yourself to only C and H find clubs and activities that you like and join that way it will be easier for you to start conversations if you both have similar interests.
Good Luck.!

Everyone is born right-handed. Only the greatest overcome it.
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: need to fix this - January 13th 2011, 04:14 AM

PART I : Well, since you guys were close, go to him and tell him that you guys should talk this thing out. If you still see him as a friend then tell him so. Don't expect anything because you never know what exactly he is going through. It maybe something weird or something simple so don't try and figure it out.

PART II : Just start with simple hi's and hey man. And then start talking about the things you have in common.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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