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Wulfygrl Offline
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Name: Brooke
Age: 26
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Location: wandering lost in my own emotions

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Unhappy She's making me insane! - January 12th 2011, 07:24 AM

-sighs- The "she" i'm talking about is my mother. Well.....I guess it's me too...You see, I've got this problem that mother and I have been having for years and we cant get over it. Just when things are about to calm down, she says something, or I mess up. -huffs- It's a long story, you should take a seat. -pauses- Also...I used 2 curse words in this rant, so you've been warned.

Alright. I guess it started a few years ago.....4 or 5 to be exact. I had just relized my sexuality and she pryed it out of me like you pry open a box. Then she got pissed at me for saying it and said that i couldn't have anyone over to stay the night at all because I was bi. That's what started the bad feelings. Now she's got a boyfriend in canada. She moved me up there last year for about 8 months. She put my dog, whom i've had since i was 4, down because he wouldn't fit in the car and the shots would take too long to come through. Theni was bullied every day at school for those 8 months just because i was american...I had even turned to cutting to let the stress out with pain. Before you think ANYTHING, no I DID NOT try to kill myself. It was stress reliefe...anyway...when i told her that i was thinking of doing it, she told me that the pain and sadness were my fault because i coldn't look on the bright side of things. She said that the bullying shouldn't have hurt becaus ei knew the things they told me weren't true...but they were true. Americans suck, we're cocky, useless, fat bastards. Well. She finally moved us back to where we lived before canada and blamed us having to move back on ME because i was miserable and because i was her child, not because her stupid BF was lieing to her about being able to pay for us. She said that if it wern't for me she would be in canada, happy with him and she called me selfish for wanting to move back and for taking her away from him...Ever since then that's all she could say is that I'm so selfish and i'm so bad...I want to forgive my mother for the things she's said to me and done to me, but she won't apologise. When i tell her she hurt me she says i needed to hear those things and we start to fight agian. Now we're going back to canada for the same boyfriend that couldn't take care of us a year earlier...fuck...I need help before she really does make me insane. It's a wonder i've survived this far...

Thanks for listening

Last edited by Wulfygrl; January 12th 2011 at 07:45 AM.
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Re: She's making me insane! - January 12th 2011, 11:16 PM

Hey there, Brooke! =) Welcome to TeenHelp.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about how your mom reacted when she found out you're bisexual. I mean, it's fairly common for parents to not let their daughters sleep over at boys' houses... but it's not right for her to say "no" to sleepovers altogether, just because you're attracted to both sexes. If I were in your position, I would write a letter explaining that just because you're attracted to girls as well, it doesn't mean you're going to "fool around" with them at a sleepover. If they're your friends, the fact that you're bisexual isn't going to change how you look at them... you're not going to pounce on any boy or girl that comes over for the night, you have standards! Hopefully, your mom will understand that, and allow you to have sleepovers or go to friends' sleepovers from now on. If not... well, at least you'll be 18 soon.

As for your mom and her relationship with this man in Canada... well, it doesn't sound like they have the best relationship, and rather than blaming him or herself, your mom is trying to pin the blame on you. That's not fair, and you know it... so as hard as this may be, try to not let it get to you. From what I can tell, you are a good person. I don't believe it's selfish to want to move back to your home country, where all your friends are.

You could try filing for emancipation... but since you'll be 18 soon, it hardly seems worth the effort. Instead, I would concentrate on getting help, whether you're living in the United States or Canada. There should be counselors of some sort at your school, so don't be afraid to tell them what's going on. I know it can be hard to open up to a stranger... but hey, you've already told US your story. =D And that wasn't so bad, was it? In addition to talking to counselors, you could try talking to teachers and anyone you feel comfortable around (I don't know if you're going to the same school - maybe this time, you won't be bullied as badly for being an American). Finally, you can start looking for a part-time job. At the very least, it'll give you a chance to stay away from your mom and her boyfriend while you're working. You'll also be able to save up money for the future, in case you decide your mother is too difficult to live with.

Finally, I'd like to share this link with you:
It's a thread that contains a list of alternative to self-harm. I understand how inflicting physical pain on yourself can help take away some of the emotional pain... but there are healthier ways to deal with that pain. I encourage you to take a look at some of the ideas and try them out the next time you feel the urge to hurt yourself. =)

I wish you all the best. <3 Please don't hesitate to PM (privately message) me if you ever want to talk about what's going on.

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Wulfygrl Offline
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Re: She's making me insane! - January 12th 2011, 11:28 PM

I stopped cutting when i came back to america and got slapped once for every cut by every friend....-_-'' They dont fool around.....The Bi thing stopped after a few months when my mom thought it would be easier to ignore that fact than to punish me for it. As for counselors...well they never help me. Trust me, I've had many.... As soon as i get residency up there, i'm getting my GED and testing into a trade school so that I can get my ass back to america asap...The teachers in that school teased me too and the principal was too weak mentally to do anything about it. She was always saying it was alright and nothing really happened. Jobs are hard to find, but in such a big city, i'm sure i'll find ONE somewhere. My mom's relationship with him sucks. She's always hissing at him about how he fucked up hers and my lives and how he needs to fix it and he's always going "I'm sorry baby." "I know, dont be mad, please dont be mad." "I will fix it, i promise. Look here's some money to help you move up here." But guess what? The sale to his old house might not go through, so we might be staying in a hotel room when we get there and she's STILL GOING TO MOVE US UP THERE!! My GOD sometimes i really wanna sock her in the face. It got to the point in canada where i was contemplating murder to get away and when that thought scared the fuck out of me, I ran away.....but got caught...... In short...its already unbearable, but my Ex is supporting me all the time so yea. At least I can still stand.
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